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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the car you buy is a statement of the 'tribe' you belong to.

474 replies

BusyCee · 06/04/2016 20:44

DH wants to buy a Discovery Sport 7 seater so we can fit 3 DCs plus others.

We live in a relatively affluent area. Discovery Sports around here are driven by perfectly pleasant women, but women who tend not to work, to spend a lot of time and energy on appearance, and who definitely don't ever drive off road.

I come from a working class family. We currently are not affluent. I have worked since I could. I like working. I like to look nice, but for me style is less important than substance.

I do NOT want to drive a Discovery Sport. We have talked about this. He has just bought a friend who works for LR home with one for us to test drive. I work in marketing. I understand very clearly why people chose the brands they chose.

AIBU to insist that we do not buy the Discovery Sport on brand/looks/target market grounds only and the fact it has a fucking tiny rear window which might be why they're always parked over two bays round these parts

OP posts:
SouthernComforter · 09/04/2016 15:03

We just swapped our 12yo Subaru Forester (about to fail MOT) for a 2yo Subaru Forester. It was £16k after we got a bit px for the old one. About 5x what we have ever spent on a car but we had some money from our house sale. The car should do 10 ypears.

We test drove an Audi Q3 and a Mazda CX5 but I don't see us as an Audi family (and it was too small) plus I particularly wanted a petrol engine.

We drove halfway up the bloody country for the new petrol Forester but I bloody love it. It's solid, really spacious (esp in the cabin) it's quite old school and it isn't... well, the same as what all suburban mums drive around here. I'm mid-30s with a toddler and a baby (boys), we have a decent income but I live in trainers and my Didrikson coat and care little for celebrity and fashion. I'm probably a good match for my Subaru.

caramac04 · 09/04/2016 15:30

Drive what you want OP . I have a Zafira but only because I can fit all dgc and non-driver dd in. I much preferred my diesel focus estate but needs must. I always say I am not a car snob but as I've never driven a high end car I can't say what I would lust after if I ever did.
Test drive a few and then decide.

Doodlemum2 · 10/04/2016 15:11

Inverse snobbery perhaps here? If the car does what you need then buy it. I get what you're saying. You could say the same about women who drive mini's. Big sunglasses, sour faces. But wait...that's a sweeping generalisation!!

I drive an Audi A3. In the last four years my husbands driven a BMW X5, Audi TT, Range Rover Sport, Porche Cayenne and since last week an Audi Q7. All that's says about him is he loves cars and can afford to change them frequently. Hmm

For background - I also work in advertising / marketing!!

Doodlemum2 · 10/04/2016 15:14

What's an "Audi family"?

DivaBeliever · 10/04/2016 15:29

All the people posting their cars clearly want to be judged

Capacity for insight = zero. Not many people have a desire to be judged negatively, but personally I think to deprive you of your self perceived God given right to judge (virtually everyone but you) would be...churlish. So judge away😄 I can only be grateful that you sit at a keyboard and not at my table...now that would be ...interesting😂

RaspberryOverload · 10/04/2016 15:45

a Mini Cooper is driven typically by wealthy women

Hahahaha! Round here, they are typically driven by young 20somethings of both sexes, seem to be seen as a fashionable starter car.

I don't care about my car apart from it works and gets me from a to b without falling apart. I'm looking to change car this year, and I'm simply looking for a car to fit a certain fold up wheelchair comfortably in the boot and that mum can get in easily. I'll look at the economy of the car, internal comfort, pricing, etc before even thinking about style, colour, etc.

BeaufortBelle · 10/04/2016 18:33

Thinking ahead to dow sizing, I saw a newish Toyota Auris today and thought it looked very pretty compared to a Golf. I'd like a pretty car - don't fancy a Mini Cooper and am too old and worn to pretend to be Lady Penelope. DH won't drive a big car - hates driving so mine will always be the family wagon. Has to do a 1500 mile round trip twice a year so needs a bit of gentile welly. Ideas? Prently have a 2L SMax. Has to be automatic due to back problems and not too low.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 10/04/2016 18:38

A Nissan Note Beaufort?

Lanark2 · 10/04/2016 18:38

Judgy things about what kind of people tend to drive your new car is totally a good reason for choosing or not choosing a car!

Varya · 10/04/2016 18:40

I have a 16 year old Peugeot 106 !!

BeaufortBelle · 10/04/2016 18:42

Noooooo; A notability Nissan note caused £2.5k of damage to my SMax when zI'd had it for three months. Reaches for smelling salts. Angry

OneMagnumisneverenough · 10/04/2016 18:51

Ha ha - I have an ex motability Note - got it at a year old with 1200 miles on the clock. Surely the fact that it managed to cause you damage is a good thing? It's the old style one as my young teens are already over 6 foot so I needed the extra leg/head room.

BeaufortBelle · 10/04/2016 19:04

You didn't see the damage to the Note --or the metal thingies at the side of the road after it ricocheted off them, leaving its bumper behind, backed into me, turned over and bounced back. I insisted the police call an ambulance because I didn't think the driver could have been very well before it happened.

Pinkheart5915 · 10/04/2016 19:10

I have a Range Rover evoque, Dh has a has a Ferrari 458.

You aren't unreasonable to insist you don't buy that car, drive what you want and like

CauliflowerBalti · 10/04/2016 19:55

YANBU at all. I've just bought a new car and utterly infuriated my ex-h (my go-to car advisor) as I wouldn't consider a BMW X1, which he felt would be the best choice for me.

And he's probably right. But I don't like my car to Say Something about me, and I feel that people who drive BMWs do so to Say Something.

I went to the Land Rover garage and looked at the Freelander 2. It was so so nice inside. SO NICE. But the women around here that drive them are not nice at all.

I need genuine off-road abilities for my hobbies and all the SUV/4x4s have either been ruined for me by yummy mummies or don't have a boot big enough for all my kit. How can that be? They're tanks on wheels - where does the space go in modern cars?

Bought a Volvo XC60 in the end. Apparently this means I am an Old Lady. I'm happy with that tribe, on account of being one that doesn't tend to solicit attention.

carefreeeee · 10/04/2016 20:00

Think of the planet - get the smallest engined and most efficient car you can in the suitable size and price bracket. Any other reasons are just pure thoughtless selfishness. Driving round in a massive car just so you can occasionally give lifts to other people is really bad for the planet. Obviously drive the car as little as possible as well.

People have got to start taking some responsibility for their own carbon emissions!

BeaufortBelle · 10/04/2016 20:05

carefree I think you fantasise about men like my husband Grin

OneMagnumisneverenough · 10/04/2016 20:16

I've got my fingers in my eyes ears at that description Beaufort :(

My car was purchased specifically to fit my needs, I don't really care that most drivers of it are old. I'll be old soon - and I'll no longer have to tote my massive teens about on a daily basis.

DH doesn't really get it. He was pumping up/checking my tires the other day and said "do you mainly drive with the car full or empty?" well, the answer is both. So, he says, "yeah, but I mean what do you have most on a daily basis?" Errmmm still both. Full car for half the journey every morning and for half the journey home every day. Other half is just me and evenings tend to be in the middle! So, upshot is that my tires are either over or underinflated for my load most of the time. Confused

BeaufortBelle · 10/04/2016 20:19

I'm old one. I just got put off Notes which otherwise I'd be rational about.

MerryMarigold · 11/04/2016 09:19

Daily Fail is so out of touch:
"From geography teacher Volvo drivers ..."

Dh earns about double the salary of a geography teacher and we couldn't afford a secondhand Volvo! No wonder David Cameron is out of touch if even Daily Fail journos are.

MerryMarigold · 11/04/2016 09:22

(The only Volvo driver I know is an investment banker, albeit a not very ostentatious one)

SimpleSimonThePieMan · 11/04/2016 11:30

Think of the planet - get the smallest engined and most efficient car you can in the suitable size and price bracket. Any other reasons are just pure thoughtless selfishness. Driving round in a massive car just so you can occasionally give lifts to other people is really bad for the planet. Obviously drive the car as little as possible as well.

ODFOD! I drive a car with a large engine and pretty rubbish fuel economy (19mpg generally, 10mpg if out for a hoon). It certainly isn't so that I can fit more people in it but purely for performance. I also like to go out driving for the pure enjoyment of driving. It's a legal(ish) hobby and quite frankly is none of anyone else's business. Anyone telling me what I should drive and how much I should drive it will be told in the strongest possible terms to go fuck themselves.

Lancelottie · 11/04/2016 12:50

Why on earth would you suggest someone fucks off for mentioning emissions? Private transport is a pretty high contributor worldwide, and sadly we don't appear to have a spare planet for the Happy Polluter to play on without it being anyone else's business. Boring, worthy, but true.

wonkylegs · 11/04/2016 12:57

Our bigger new 4wd is much more fuel efficient than the 8yo smaller car we traded in for it, but on the surface it looks like be got a bigger gas guzzler, in reality engines have got better in that time. I was quite surprised when we got it as I was sure it was going to be worse.

MerryMarigold · 11/04/2016 12:58

Happy Polluter

Oh I love it!! I wish we could send them to Mars so they could drive around in their 'performance cars', not giving anyone else lifts, and all their kids getting asthma. Maybe one day...

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