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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the car you buy is a statement of the 'tribe' you belong to.

474 replies

BusyCee · 06/04/2016 20:44

DH wants to buy a Discovery Sport 7 seater so we can fit 3 DCs plus others.

We live in a relatively affluent area. Discovery Sports around here are driven by perfectly pleasant women, but women who tend not to work, to spend a lot of time and energy on appearance, and who definitely don't ever drive off road.

I come from a working class family. We currently are not affluent. I have worked since I could. I like working. I like to look nice, but for me style is less important than substance.

I do NOT want to drive a Discovery Sport. We have talked about this. He has just bought a friend who works for LR home with one for us to test drive. I work in marketing. I understand very clearly why people chose the brands they chose.

AIBU to insist that we do not buy the Discovery Sport on brand/looks/target market grounds only and the fact it has a fucking tiny rear window which might be why they're always parked over two bays round these parts

OP posts:
herecomethepotatoes · 07/04/2016 03:16

Cars are aspirational and do, to a certain extent, show which 'tribe' you belong to. You can make an equally valid connection to your tribe by driving a T5 (VW, not Volvo), a tiny Aygo or whatever else; can be you love polar bears, don't car about cars or are 'urban chic' and want to fun yourself.

You can make massive judgements about people based on their cars and I think I'm frequently correct.

All the people posting their cars clearly want to be judged as they feel they've made good decisions and like what it says about them.

DH drives a BMW X6
Wishes he had a Range Rover. Doesn't mind abysmal handling or performance as the badge is much more important.

I drive a Renault Cleo Sport.
Fun. Clinging on to your youth. Be happier with an Audi A1 S Line.

I don't give a toss about cars, I'll happily drive an old banger if It's reliable
which they aren't

but, because of some things I do for work I sort of have to have a car that looks presentable. What tribe am I in with a black middle aged sports car?

middle aged car = 7 years old? A Z3? Fun! 350Z? Awesome! However, an older sportscar as a daily driver makes you look foolish when you pull up in pouring rain for a business appointment with it's tiny boot, step up out of it, heave-hoing on the steering wheel. Not sure it's making the impression you want.

Cayenne driver here no tribe membership

Should have gone to Specsavers. Lovely places to sit though. Sound as good as any Porsche at high revs. Lovely.

What tribe am I in? I drive a new Zafira and an old Skoda estate

Waiting for the GR to come knocking. You've given up on life.

I have a vw tiguan. My husband has a volvo v50

Accountants? Did you get both cars in beige?

Hate to think what tribe I'm in, I have a 13 seater clapped out minibus covered in flowers 😁. I long for my classics mini days!.

I think you know what tribe you're in!

^Ooh, DH drives a Mini Countryman, I drive a thoroughly knackered Toyota Yaris.
What's our tribe?^

Knackered cars have their place. Pile people and things in and don't worry about it. As to your husband, just one question. Why? Okay two questions, why and do you not feel ridiculous every time you drive it?

In my last address our neighbour asked if he could park his Aston Martin in our garage because it wasn't good to leave it out in the snow...My current neighbours have Mercs and a Tesla. My knackered Prius is missing a hub cap after I crunched it in the petrol station blush

Inverse snobbery and terrible attempt at stealth boasting.

My evoque is great

No it isn't.

BMW M135i

nods approvingly / jealously :)

Do me now. Do me. Do me.

We have a pick up truck (a 4 door, proper 4x4, with winch, M/T tyres etc). It's wonderful. Bikes in the back. Muddy wellies etc without caring. We've towed Discoverys, Freelanders and other very capable 4x4s out when they've been stuck. Importantly, it's a very safe place to be and remarkably civilised inside. All of us love it. We have an M6 Gran Coupe. Again we love it but the pick up is the car most used.

@OP - If you don't want the Disco then it's a lot of money to spend when it only pleases one person. Give it a test drive with an open mind and you might like it though. They are mechanically sound and very comfortable. High driving positions are addictive and it's hard to argue against their practicality. The low-down grunt of big diesel engines is great for driving on motorways and dual carriageways. Small rear windows are easily over-come with reversing cams.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 07/04/2016 03:47

I can't drive but if I did I'd want an orange campervan. A proper old one.

What tribe am I?

HoundoftheBaskervilles · 07/04/2016 03:57

You are the VW tribe King

Want2bSupermum · 07/04/2016 05:49

houndsfbaskerville I'm crying with laughter. We had a metro Vanden Plas with 9 lives. My dad took the RR flying lady off his car and stuck it on the metro as I got so upset when my car was abused. My dad said it had more dents than a Jamacian steel drum.

The car lived on and was finally sold for scrap when it was 18 years old. A local guy who had seen me driving about came in and bought the engine. Said the car was a Tuesday car.

nooka · 07/04/2016 05:50

I have an old half ton pick up. I live in an area where everyone has pick ups, either new (and crazily expensive bought on HP) or really old (often with another in the yard for cannibalization). It's stupidly expensive to run, but really easy to drive and great for throwing everything in the back and going camping, and I can drive it on really quite ropy forestry roads without worrying about getting stuck.

It's clearly not what people expect me to drive because I've got some very bemused comments from my workmates. Far too red neck I think Grin. Before my pick up I cycled, and if we move back to a city I'll sell up.

dh has a VW Golf GTI, which he unwisely bought new. They are unusual where we live and he enjoys taking off much faster than the standard muscle cars who thought it was just a standard small car. He is thinking about putting in an order for a Tesla 3 next :)

LarrytheCucumber · 07/04/2016 06:25

We have a Ford Galaxy, and according to Jeremy Clarkson they are driven by old men in corduroy trousers! We got it so we could fit in all our camping gear.
I have a Honda Jazz ( which is a bit of an old lady car I admit). I got it because my Ford Ka was making my left knee ache.
Presumably our tribe is 'old fogey' Grin

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 07/04/2016 06:40

The majority of people buy cars on HP/car lease/car loan so the brand or size of a car someone drives does not show wealth or class.

My GP drives a T reg family hatchback- met her in tesco car park.

My cousin and her dh who don't earn more than 30k between them have a BMW X5 so they can keep up with the Jones'. It's also them who are skint but still insist on only name brand EVERYTHING as if to hide it. I hate to think how they will mange when they retire

BeaufortBelle · 07/04/2016 06:47

Hmm.

Try this then: Five year old auto S Max, (me), new VW e-up. 15 year old Picasso in France

tobysmum77 · 07/04/2016 07:10

In the midlands/ north west it puts you in the 'I work for JLR' tribe. If someone is driving around in a new LR that is my only immediate assumption.

Just buy what car you want, some people are interested in cars (fine), some arent (also fine). Having a more expensive car than someone else doesnt mean you have more money, they may still have the 40k you spent to knock off their mortgage.

OP stop caring what other people think and do/ buy what you want to.

BeaufortBelle · 07/04/2016 07:12

I've asked this before. Would you out £40k in a metal box and leave it outside your house?

Badders123 · 07/04/2016 07:19

Oooooh is this a thing? Really?
Hmm.
I know nothing about cars so don't really judge except on shape and colour Blush
I currently drive a 10 year old corsa. Lovely runner, only 35000 miles on the clock as I only use it for pootling about.
Dh has a company car...a Passat estate but needs to decide on a new one soon.
I like the Mercedes C class :)
I will need a new couple of years I guess. Kids are getting bigger (in fact ds1 is now taller than me!) and I yearn for leather seats and seat warmers :)
I would also like built in sat nav and Bluetooth thingy for my phone.
Sadly my favourite car ATM is the fiat 500 which is teeeny tiny and would only just fit me in :(
Don't like the new shape corsas (much too long in front) and not keen on the new Astras either.
So.....wwyd?
If you could chose a new company car what would it be?
And a small run around car for me?
And....what tribe am I!?

dynevoran · 07/04/2016 07:22

We have an older Porsche Cayenne and whilst it is good on the motorway people treat me like a twat around London and definitely judge me for it. I didn't choose it - DP did and we disagreed but I relented and let him get it.

Young men race me off traffic lights and people say mean things just because of the car. I hate it. Yesterday the bin truck didn't give enough space to get past and while I waited patiently for him to move another 1m he started on about "stupid women driving cars too big for them" totally unprovoked. If I had gone past I would have lost a mirror Hmm.

Silvertap · 07/04/2016 07:31

I am always intrigued by how many people buy these sort of cars on finance. Whoever said why on earth would you pay interest on a depreciating asset has it right in my book. Are there really that many people in this country that can afford to spunk that money away?

I'm a farmer. I drive a Volvo and love it and dh has a Toyota hi Lux.

tobysmum77 · 07/04/2016 07:34

I think dyne that people do treat you differently on the road depending on what you drive. We have an average estate car 3yo and a small run around car 8yo. If I am in the estate car it is very rare that anyone has a go at me (y'know for normal stuff like realising you're the wrong lane at an unfamiliar roundabout). In the small car though twats (95% blokes) are far more aggressive and unpleasant.

BeaufortBelle · 07/04/2016 07:37

People only have a go at me if I'm being dithery. Type of car doesn't matter.

derxa · 07/04/2016 07:45

Will someone genuinely give me a recommendation. I want a vehicle which will tow a sheep trailer and isn't too big and hellish to park. And is good for motorway
driving.

tobysmum77 · 07/04/2016 07:46

Well I drive a lot of miles and my personal experience is different.

Plus people who have a go at people being dithery are utter twats. Omg you might waste 10 seconds of my life by not taking that gap at the roundabout Grin

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 07/04/2016 07:47

derxa. Depends how heavy your sheep trailer is. Do you know the weight?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 07/04/2016 07:47

But Dh cann tow a horse trailer with a ford mondeo.

derxa · 07/04/2016 07:57

It's got sheep decks 3500kg?

midnightlurker · 07/04/2016 08:01

Discos have awful mpg and terrible reliability past about 3 years old. If you want a giant gas guzzler get a
Landcruiser. Our 80 year old farmer friend has had one of everything pretty much amd that's all he will buy now. Most reliable. They had abut 5 Landrovers at one point on the farm, all fairly new. On a given day if more than one ran without problems it was a bonus.

An estate car will give you seven seats, better mpg and just as much room.

midnightlurker · 07/04/2016 08:02

Phone spelling with baby climbing on me. Sorry!

Tartsamazeballs · 07/04/2016 08:02

I own the following:
Transit Van and Toyota MR2. Both 12 years old.

Husband:
Volvo V70 and brand new Yamaha MT09 Tracer.

I think we come firmly under the "council estate chav chic" tribe. That's cool. Do we get a club house or something?

Abraid2 · 07/04/2016 08:03

Very nouveau and social-climbing to care so much about your car.

Helmetbymidnight · 07/04/2016 08:06

We lease a fancy merc- It's beautiful to drive but I don't like it.
It's not me/not my tribe.
It has more presence on the road though- other drivers don't fuck you about so much.

I like my old vw polo.