To be gutted we can't accept the house

[Ange246]

Not sure if it's really an Aibu but anyway I'd just like somebody else's opinions on the matter. I'm married with three kids, the youngest we suspect has additional needs and is currently undergoing assessment. We currently live in a private rented house but have stayed on the council list and have been bidding for properties for the last couple of years in the hope of getting somewhere in the area we live now. The main reason for wanting to get a house with the council is that our youngest is continually causing damage to our house and we are worried that if the landlord sees it he will want us out. We repair things as and when we can afford it but i constantly feel on edge with it not being our own home. Our landlord also won't agree to us having door locks fitted which we do need as our son escapes and runs off so I'm on pins.

So we continued to bid but unfortunately the area we live now is very popular so we've not been offered anywhere. Talking to my dh we decided that maybe we should try bidding in other areas close by just to see if we get anywhere more than anything, as we no that if we are offered somewhere and then change our minds it won't go against us. So we thought we'd try and well we've been offered somewhere. It's a three bed house around three miles from were we live now and it's seems a nice house and the area is ok.

I got rather excited until I remembered one little detail. We apply for secondary school for our daughter thisbSeptember and as it stands she has got two good choices of schools were she could get into either. You see her older brother is at a secondary school a two minute walk away from here but my dd wants to go to the high school her primary feeds into and I'm afraid if we move to the house we've been offered she won't stand a chance of getting into her first choice high school or her brother's school which will be her second choice.

Sorry if I'm being confusing. Basically my older two kids went to our local primary school a two minute walk away from our house. Due to my Dd being bullied I decided to pull her out a couple of years ago and she started at another school around a five minute drive away, her brother was in year 6 and leaving for high school himself that year so it worked out great. The other local schools (within a couple of minutes walk) didn't have a place for my dd so we got her into another school in the next town were she's settled lovely and is happy.

Now the school she goes to is the unofficial feeder school to a brilliant Catholic secondary school and she wants to go there if possible. 90% of her classmates should move to the school and despite living further away than some of her friends she still stands a good chance as she's baptised and we live within one of the four named parishes. Well the problem is if we move we'll no longer live within one of the parishes and my dd will then stand no chance of getting a place.

Another issue is that if we move my dd will also be less of a priority for her brother's secondary school (our 2nd choice). You see my son's school prioritise children who attend the three names feeder primary schools (one of which I pulled my daughter out of) first, then siblings and then all other children. So as she doesn't go to one of the feeder schools anymore she'll only get a place as her brother already attends and from what I heard last year some brothers and sisters didn't get a place as they lived too far away.

So I'm in a pickle really. If we stay were we are my dd will have more a less an equal chance for both schools but if we move she'll stand zero chance of getting a place at the first school and it'll be touch and go for the second school. It's such as shame as if we had have been offered this house further on in the year say after I'd applied for school in October then I wouldn't think twice of accepting the house but now as it stands there's no way we can accept. AIBU for moaning? As i'm genuinely disappointed. But my dd comes first and I can't jeopardise her chances of getting into a local good school can I.

Yeah that might be an option. The only thing that concerns me is the council tax registry. You see we have just applied for housing benefit after I went to see housing options. They did a rough calculation and said we'd be entitled to around £80 a month HB/CTB so not exactly a huge amount but if I were to stay here and then my husband register for council tax at the council house then surely they'd know.

Aw I couldn't do that Cody it wouldn't feel right. Trust me though it's surprising I'm not a single mum (a genuine one lol) what with all the stress me and my dh have on our shoulders.

Don't do anything illegal even if it's 'not unusual'

I won't don't worry. I suppose I could put it to the council that we'd need time to decorate and make the hosie safe for our Ds before moving in and see what they say.

I would prioritise the school.

This is hard. We have a council house and it's changed all our lives for the better(we have three kids like you). We were in rented housing for 16 years (we would love to buy but just don't have the money) and the last house was just pure misery because we lived next door to our landlord and he was, at times, a nightmare but we couldn't afford to move and by then the rents in our area had gone up so much we had to stay put. We were also in band D but then it happened , we were lucky enough to get a house. Would you believe it but we were 15th in line (I kid you not!). All those families turned our little house down (it's in a very rural location - no shop, tiny and I mean tiny bathroom and kitchen both downstairs, oil tank in the back garden etc...) It wasn't in the village that we lived so we moved. Basically, I got the feeling that if we turned down the house that would be it. No more choices, no more chances. They are like gold dust. Needless to say I could not say yes fast enough. Back to you; I would take the house because if you are secure in your house you can sort out everything else - life is better and easier. I can't tell you how happy our council house had made us. Suddenly we have a life. We can decorate it and make it ours. Not have landlord or letting agents leaching us for money and checking up every two minutes. Freedom. Never had that before. I would think long and hard before you turn it down, it could be years before you get another chance.

Also - defiantly go and look into the schools in the other area. Just see. Maybe they are even better then the one she wants now. Remember that at secondary the pool of kids is massive, she might only be with a couple of her current friends in her tutor group. A year down the line the chances are she will have lots of different friends from other schools anyway. Talk to her. Go and see the schools with her. Talk to the council too - have you seen the house and area yet?

I would never claim to be a single parent but I wonder if it is legal to let my dh move into the council house, like I said to do it up whilst paying rent on it and me stay here for a while longer. I wouldn't put a claim in for lone parent benefits or anything like that but just stay in the house I'm in now. But like I said as we have just put a joint claim in for HB/CTB I'm not sure if it would be allowed.

I asked them that Dixie as I was baffled as to why I wouldn't be allowed to bid for 3 beds and she said that none urgent medical need banding (which is what bad B is mainly for) would dictate that our son needs his own room as it isn't safe for him to share with his older brother. I'm quite happy for a three bed parloured house as me and my dh would sleep downstairs on a really good quality sofa bed but she said that wouldn't be allowed.

I took a good couple of months to move in to my first council flat - there was no flooring, woodchip on every wall and I didn't have a stick of furniture so it took me a while to get it habitable. They didn't give a monkeys.

They'd care if they thought the house was abandoned, not if they thought you were taking time to get your stuff in order. Benefits claims do make it a bit more complicated though.

You can be registered for council tax at more than one property, we've had it before (when we've overlapped whilst moving.) If you had a 6 month tenancy then you'd still be responsible for the council tax at your old flat even if you did leave early so it happens all the time.

To all the posters that are advising taking the home but not moving in, would that be allowed by the council?

My experience is that they aren't bothered.

When I picked up the keys to my place I got a few weeks rent free to start because the house was in need of redecoration. They also provided me with a budget to do it! I kid you not - it wasn't a fortune, but they had inspected the house (an elderly lady had lived here and not done much in the way of decoration for years) determined how much paint etc. would be required and then gave me the money!

I was living in a property owned by a family member at the time, so there was no pressure on me to move out in a hurry. I'd pick up the kids from school and then drive up to the 'new house' and spend the evenings decorating while the kids played. I also didn't pay a removal van, but moved things in bit by bit over the course of several weeks. It was about three months between me getting the keys and actually moving in, and no-one from the Council was remotely bothered.

I don't think the Council would be that concerned if someone didn't move in immediately provided they were seen to have taken possession of the property, were paying the rent and were seen around it occasionally. The question is in the OP's case - can she afford it, and how long would she have to do it for?

Some great advice September, thank you. I haven't seen the hosie in person but I've seen a picture of it on the council website. I think the area is nice but my family (the ones I've told) have told me it's tough. But to them anywhere that isn't here is rough. I just don't think they want is to move. A whole three miles away lol.

"if it is legal to let my dh move into the council house"

I would think that, if you were claiming hb/ctb to enable that, it would fraud.

If you weren't claiming hb/ctb, but instead paying both rents for a few months, then I don't think it would be illegal, but I can't see the council permitting a man to take a three-bed house on his own (family still housed elsewhere).

I would also question the wisdom of paying double rent for three months, while you owe your landlord £1400 for repairs.

That's the thing im not sure how long we'd have to do it for. Like I said I know the admissions do check and like they did to me last year, telephone to confirm your address. The closing date is October so I could probably hang on until then and take our time decorating the new house. But if they don't do their checks until say February then we'd be stuck as by then we'd both be registered for council tax (what they use to check) at the new house.

Yeah I think realistically that is too long - I was thinking September is probably doable but February not so much.

Op I feel for you, but I would pick me the house. I know everyones circumstances are different, but I'm in Band B and it's been two years now and im still bidding!

I would always put school first. You really only get one decent shot at secondary education and I would deeply regret risking that for my children.

After everything you've said I would let the house go. Because the council said that houses do come up, I would hope that something else suitable would come up in the next 6 months. It's whether you want to take the risk though I suppose.
I know 4 bed houses in your current area are far and few between but the council wouldn't be forcing you down that route if they were non-existent. If there were literally no houses they would be allowing you a 3-bed with the possibility of dividing a room or using the dining area etc. Have you asked about the 4-bed stock in your area and will they tell you how many applicants would be above you for one of them?
I don't envy you, you are between a rock and a hard place.
Of course if you think you couldn't bear your current arrangement for another 6 months then take it. What is your dp's thinking on this?

The closing date is October so I could probably hang on until then and take our time decorating the new house. But if they don't do their checks until say February then we'd be stuck as by then we'd both be registered for council tax (what they use to check) at the new house.

In my LA, your address for admissions purposes is the address you live in when you apply. If yours is the same, as long as your private rental was your legitimate family home at the time you made your application, then you would be perfectly in terms of school admissions to apply to your preferred school. I would urge you strongly to check what the rules are in your LA regarding moving house if you have not already done so.

Yeah I know what you're saying. I don't want to gamble with my dd's education but at the same time it's also about my son and what's best for him. I've spoken with my oldest son and he's not bothered either way as all the friends he used to have in the street have gone to different high schools so have their own friends and as he's older he's capable of getting the bus places if I can't drive him. So I suppose it's what's best for my Dd and my Ds. I certainly have a lot to think about.

My dh is torn like me. We haven't had much chance to talk about it as he's been at work but we are going to talk tonight when he gets home. He's worried I think about our dd as we went to great lengths to move her school and get her to settle (she didn't for a long time) and now she's happy. I know what you're saying that kids make new friends at high school, I did myself when I was there but I still had my friends from primary and two of them i'm still good friends with to this day. I suppose he's wondering whether it's worth risking our dd's school for a house. But then on the other hand he's stressed with our current living arrangements and whilst our landlord is lovely and we rarely see him I suppose he's worried that when he does see the state of the house he'll ask us to leave.

Thanks Sally. I'll give admissions a ring in the morning.

There admissions procedures are probably on their website.

It's very different appealing for secondary schools than for Reception, though, as there aren't the same class limit sizes - it's more dependent on why your child needs the appeal school (and there is lots of help available about what to use to build a case for this). Plus you can go on waiting lists, and move later in the year, if it comes to it, or in future years. Having a sibling at the school will make her near the top of the list, since once you get to in-year admissions, primary school attendance is probably less relevant, and siblings much be nearly the next category. But again, I'd try for social/medical category to start with.

Also, could you take the house now, and if something comes up again in the area that you're in, move again before school application deadline?

It sounds dodgy to do any address-swapping, taking time over moving strategies, and I'd worry that it might come back to haunt you somehow.