To be gutted we can't accept the house

[Ange246]

Not sure if it's really an Aibu but anyway I'd just like somebody else's opinions on the matter. I'm married with three kids, the youngest we suspect has additional needs and is currently undergoing assessment. We currently live in a private rented house but have stayed on the council list and have been bidding for properties for the last couple of years in the hope of getting somewhere in the area we live now. The main reason for wanting to get a house with the council is that our youngest is continually causing damage to our house and we are worried that if the landlord sees it he will want us out. We repair things as and when we can afford it but i constantly feel on edge with it not being our own home. Our landlord also won't agree to us having door locks fitted which we do need as our son escapes and runs off so I'm on pins.

So we continued to bid but unfortunately the area we live now is very popular so we've not been offered anywhere. Talking to my dh we decided that maybe we should try bidding in other areas close by just to see if we get anywhere more than anything, as we no that if we are offered somewhere and then change our minds it won't go against us. So we thought we'd try and well we've been offered somewhere. It's a three bed house around three miles from were we live now and it's seems a nice house and the area is ok.

I got rather excited until I remembered one little detail. We apply for secondary school for our daughter thisbSeptember and as it stands she has got two good choices of schools were she could get into either. You see her older brother is at a secondary school a two minute walk away from here but my dd wants to go to the high school her primary feeds into and I'm afraid if we move to the house we've been offered she won't stand a chance of getting into her first choice high school or her brother's school which will be her second choice.

Sorry if I'm being confusing. Basically my older two kids went to our local primary school a two minute walk away from our house. Due to my Dd being bullied I decided to pull her out a couple of years ago and she started at another school around a five minute drive away, her brother was in year 6 and leaving for high school himself that year so it worked out great. The other local schools (within a couple of minutes walk) didn't have a place for my dd so we got her into another school in the next town were she's settled lovely and is happy.

Now the school she goes to is the unofficial feeder school to a brilliant Catholic secondary school and she wants to go there if possible. 90% of her classmates should move to the school and despite living further away than some of her friends she still stands a good chance as she's baptised and we live within one of the four named parishes. Well the problem is if we move we'll no longer live within one of the parishes and my dd will then stand no chance of getting a place.

Another issue is that if we move my dd will also be less of a priority for her brother's secondary school (our 2nd choice). You see my son's school prioritise children who attend the three names feeder primary schools (one of which I pulled my daughter out of) first, then siblings and then all other children. So as she doesn't go to one of the feeder schools anymore she'll only get a place as her brother already attends and from what I heard last year some brothers and sisters didn't get a place as they lived too far away.

So I'm in a pickle really. If we stay were we are my dd will have more a less an equal chance for both schools but if we move she'll stand zero chance of getting a place at the first school and it'll be touch and go for the second school. It's such as shame as if we had have been offered this house further on in the year say after I'd applied for school in October then I wouldn't think twice of accepting the house but now as it stands there's no way we can accept. AIBU for moaning? As i'm genuinely disappointed. But my dd comes first and I can't jeopardise her chances of getting into a local good school can I.

I'd take the house as it seems you could be on shakey ground with the landlord if you stay where you are. Also, the council may not give you another offer if you turn it down. I know someone who was told that if they didn't accept they would go back to the bottom of the list (5 year wait) and they were classed as high priority. It will give you long term security.

Hi

Sorry have only skimmed through.

Just something quick to mention (you've probably checked this). My dc is in a feeder school and we are moving house. The school have advised me that being in a feeder puts you in catchment not your location. Could this be the same for you?

I've already thought about that Fizzie but in terms of school admissions it wouldn't be allowed. They check where you are registered for council tax. They did it to me last year when I'd done my sons primary application. I asked them why they were phoning me and they said that they do a lot of checks now as there has been an increase in fraudulent applications and unfortunately living at one address whilst pretending to live at another would be classed as fraud.

As well as seeing if you can afford both rents, can you speak to the council, see if you can accept but delay taking it - if it could just be closer to the summer before you take possession, that could take it down to 3 months of paying rent on both properties before you apply for school places.

The council must have experienced people who have signed private tenancy agreements and can't just move with a months notice. It's got to be worth a call.

X post OP - but you wouldn't be living at one and pretending tolive at the other, you'd stay in your current property, leaving the council one empty. Still paying your council tax, being registered to vote, having your DCs registered for doctors and dentists at your current address. You do'nt move anything until after you've applied.

Take the house love.

Secure Council tenancies are like gold dust these days (and may soon become a thing of the past). Our children's school and education is hugely important of course, but it's a fleeting thing, unlike a secure home. Those years (of secondary school) go by so quickly and children soon grow up and become adults.

I was in a similar situation to you but the opposite way around. I was desperate to leave my secure tenancy in a lovely spacious house - three beds, big garden, woodland at the back, off street parking, reasonable rent etc - because the local secondary school that mine would be going to, had a terrible reputation and was shit. I remember talking to a parent outside their primary school one day and she asked 'So your two will be going to Shite Secondary then?' and thinking 'hell will freeze over before I send them there'. I used to lay awake at night worrying about it. I was literally at the point of giving up my home and signing a rental agreement on a grotty 2-bed flat above a bakery (all I could afford) around the corner from the school I wanted them to go to, with no garden, pokey rooms ... when (thankfully) someone talked some sense into me.

So I stayed put and kids went to the shite school and now a few years on - daughter is cabin crew for a major airline flying all over the world and having the time of her life and son is just about to go into his third year of uni and also doing brilliantly. They are well adjusted happy young people, and the shite school brought them some wonderful friendships and guess what - all their schoolfriends are also doing well in their lives. School is important yes, but it isn't the be all and end all of everything. A safe secure loving home is far more important.

As others have said .... please do think carefully about everything before turning this house down.

Definitely Dinosaurs, it's worth a try. When I spoke to a woman at the council earlier today I explained our circumstances and she assured me that if for whatever reason we decided not to accept the property then it will not go against us if we want to bid in the future. I also asked her how often do houses in that particular area go to people in band D (the lowest band) and she said quite often, so that's reassuring if we decide not got go for it now and wait until my dd's school offer comes in. The houses in my area do go to some people in band D but it's rare. They usually go to people in band A-C so I suppose if we don't go for it this time we're still in with a fair chance of getting somewhere in the area we've been offered. I'll have to discuss it with my dh when he gets home from work.

Oh I get you Dinosaur, sorry I'm not with it tonight. The only thing with that is I'd still have to pay my bills including council tax on the council house and I can't be registered for council tax in two properties. Can I?

Take the house. I'm pretty sure if you stay and apply to secondaries, then move before places are allocated that you'd not get the school anyway. Can you live like this for another year - 18 months?

I agree that your DD education is important. But is it more important than the whole families happiness and piece of mind, or the safety of your DS?
And if you can get 4 bed close by - so a few miles away - I'd do it. Your little one is only going to get bigger.

Price up having both. Ask about accepting but delaying moving in for a few months, and see what can be done. For the sake of 6 months, something could be fudged, particularly if family can be leaned on for financial help!

And would that actually be allowed do you know Dinosuar? I was under the impression if have to move in pretty soon, like within a month or so? I suppose the other issue is tbsy the school admissions team could do their checks anytime from the application closing date in October until just before offers day in March and I don't think I'd be able to keep the house empty for almost a year without the council noticing.

Take the house.

I hope you get some support for your ds sounds stressful for everyone.

I think you get reduced council tax if it's not your primary residence (like a holiday home, you don't pay on both houses.) or you stay in one, DH in the other and you both claim single occupant discount, not sure how much ofa discount that would be. The bills at the new house would be low if noone was living there using anything...

Thanks Fontella your words ring so true. I suppose I'm just thinking of the here and now when it comes to school but you're right, we need a happy home and at the minute we haven't got one and it mKes me so sad.

Not sure if it's allowed with council houses, worth asking! They must have people who've signed 6 month private tenancies and can't just move with a month's notice.

Thanks roundtable. We are getting there slowly. It's just been a horrible couple of years for our family and it's thrown everything into question but we'll be ok.

I'd take the house. Think how relieved and relaxed you would be if you were able to move into your 'own' home and not have to deal with the uncertainties of private rentals.

Girls friendships change so much at your DDs age it could easily be that she starts at the new school and settles in straight away.

I hope everything works out for you and that things improve with your little boy.

To all the posters that are advising taking the home but not moving in, would that be allowed by the council?

It would be a struggle to afford both houses to be honest and if I'm not mistaken I think because I put on the application that all five of us would be moving I think they may take the property back if I then say it will only be me moving with the kids. The woman I spoke to did ask me to confirm who would be moving when I spoke to her before so I'm not sure it'd be allowed if I said my dh wasn't moving with me as I might have to do a separate housing appocation. Sorry I'm rambling hope you know what I mean.

I would take the house.

If your child has SEN then you have a better chance of the school you need. If a child is statemented then even better, but even without (because statements are being replaced anyway) you will be able to use the additional needs diagnosis as a reason for choosing a particular school.

so take the house, and concentrate on getting appropriate support for SEN, and then that will help your school application much more than being in a catchment area anyway

Take the house. It's here now, everything else is a maybe.

There is nothing stopping you moving DD mid year if you don't originally get the secondary you want. But you need to take this house - there's a huge chance another might not come up tbh.

IME council houses are quite often a bit grotty/in need of redecorating etc...could DH 'move in' to the new place without you guys initially (obv you'd both still sign tenancy etc) on the basis that he's decorating, childproofing etc. which you could easily justify by saying that you're tied in to a 6 month tenancy so as you need to pay for two properties for a while it makes sense for you to do it this way as it's safer given your son's destructive behaviour (wouldn't be safe around pots of paint or power tools!)

TBH I doubt the council would even notice or care as long as their rent was being paid, but if you appeared to be in the process of moving in I think it would be fine

Thanks. I think you're right.

You could move as a single parent and claim benefits - surprising how many marriages fail when faced with a big decision -

Not ideal - but certainly not unheard of!!