AIBU to resent his newly slim female friend?

[justamum80]

I had a baby last year at the age of 35 and while I love being a mum, I feel I have totally changed from an attractive, fit put together woman to an overweight mummy being who is lucky to have on anything clean never mind put together! My husband has a close female friend who he's been close to since uni. She is a nice person and I like her and I suppose itis a bit shallow of me because I never really felt she was any threat because she was always overweight and frumpy. However in the past year she has gone gluten free, lost loads of weight, started working out, and overhaulled her appearance and she looks amazing, and very young she is actually older than me but she easily looks like she is in her 20's. She doesn't have any kids.

Aibu because I now resent her spending time with my husband? It didn't used to bother me in the past but now she is attractive and I'm at my lowest ebb looks wise and energy wise I worry that my husband is bound to "notice" her sooner or later?

With reference to stairway's post about finding people attractive (I realise this wasn't addressed to me but I'm adding my two cents).... I don't think being attracted to someone is purely about their physical appearance. I think there's something like chemistry/a spark type thing which adds to whether you find someone attractive.

In terms of objective "attractiveness" (I guess a synonym for good-looking/hot/beautiful) I think it's possible to clock whether you think someone is good looking without it really meaning anything.

I have some male friends who I guess are objectively attractive/good looking. I'm not attracted to them though and I don't tend to think of them in terms of them being attractive or not.

Actually, I wonder whether you're less likely to notice if a friend is attractive or not because they're firmly in your head as "friend" and their other traits are more important. so, people who do get threatened by presence of the opposite sex in their OHs company- maybe it's strangers rather than friends you should worry about!

(I don't really think you should worry about anyone though Unless your OH is untrustworthy. In which case, it's then you should worry about).

THEM not then

I think YABU but I totally understand where you are coming from, I would feel the same! I have very low body confidence right now (dd is 6 months) and if my hublet had a friend like that I would feel very insecure. But I know it would be all me and (try really hard) not blame it on her! You've got to trust your husband loves you