Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

Schools should be tackling this kind of bullying If they are happy to send a kid to isolation for wearing the wrong pair of fucking socks then they have no excuse. Bullying should be stamped on immediately.

Any excuses made by posters that this is about kids health just got blown completely out of the water because if ppl really thought that that would include their mental health as well.

A maths lesson is in a classroom in an enclosed space Bullying can be spotted much more easily than in a large field or on a cross country run. And PE teachers that ive known and read about on here seem to advocate ignoring the bullying rather than doing something about it.

Kids are bullied for various reasons, being fat, being smart, wearing glasses, not wearing the latest trainers.

All kids already do PE at school, in fact the PE lessons can sometimes be quite competitive and polarising with running, gymnastics, fitness tests, bleep tests. So should schools stop doing PE? The daily mile of walking or running is not going to reveal anything new to potential bullies. In fact it just normalises sport activity as part of the daily routine like registration, rather than something competitive or to be ridiculed about.

No Schools should operate a zero tolerance attitude to bullying just like they manage to when someone comes in wearing the wrong socks or wrong shirt that isnt uniform.

If they can do it with the latter they can do it with the former and get their priorities right.

Helena, you're not being rational anymore.

This is about children's health.

helena You say from photos you weren't that big as a child. So I'm guessing by today's standards that at reception age you would have just been similar to one of the many dc that are chubby, (rather than obese) in a reception class by today's standards.

Don't you think if the exercise had been introduced at that age, long before you were seriously overweight and before classmates were old enough to be proper bullies, it might have made things a lot different for you?

No it isnt Amarok because if it was that would also include childrens mental health. I am being perfectly rational to think that this should be included. To say that i am not being rational because i wont stand for the minimization of bullying on this thread is a pretty low blow.

Lurked i suppose if more excersise had started when i was 6 or 7 that may have helped.
However i am proud of the fact that my 10 stone weight loss was achieved by me and me alone and i am also proud of the fact that it hasnt given me an attitude that if i can do it anyone can or turned me into someone who is cocky about it.

And im proud of that even more than i am about the weight loss itself.

Exercise is very good for mental health.

Most schools come down very hard on bullying in my personal experience. It's certainly not tolerated in my DCs schools.

I don't quite understand the relevance of you being proud. Of course you should be, but surely it would have been a lot more pleasant to have avoided it in the first place if that had been an option?

The running a mile thing may look great on paper but what are schools going to do about the bullying of the overweight kids that may result.

I expect schools will do exactly the same thing as they do when overweight kids get bullied during PE lessons, when they run around the playground and when they eat their school dinners.

Bullying is bullying and it's not suddenly going to need dealing with differently, because schools and trying to get kids to take more exercise.

There are parts of this thread that actually read like a competition to invent as many reasons as possible as to why kids should remain overweight.

Agree Worra It's very strange. I cannot understand this mindset at all.

But I guess it explains why there are so many overweight children.

It's actually quite upsetting that so many adults are willing to put up so many excuses/reasons as to how 'impossible' it is to help kids lose weight.

I honestly think if 64% of adults weren't overweight/obese and therefore failing to keep their own bodies at healthier weights, they would be more willing to accept that parents should be doing more about their children's weight.

This thread has just about every reason and excuse under the sun now.

And yes it would be wonderful if everything changed at a societal level, if the government did more, if the food industries did more, if the schools did more, if the supermarkets did more etc etc etc.....

But while we're waiting to see if those changes ever happen, how about parents do more to accept responsibility for what they feed their children and how much exercise they take?

Otherwise when your teenage child asks "Why have I been fat all my life"? You'll have to look them in the eye and say, "Well I blame society"...

See how well that goes down as they continue to struggle into adulthood with weight problems.

The excuses are part of the problem. Saying that kids shouldn't exercise for fear of being bullied is yet another excuse. No one is suggesting military style boot camps, just a gentle walk of jog around the school. As a parent I am happy and grateful for any opportunity for extra activity my kids get.

It's called rationalising

www.thefreedictionary.com/rationalise

People want to explain away an uncomfortable reality, i.e people including children are getting fatter. We know how to prevent it, but the actual doing of it (active lifestyle, non proceed diet) seems harder than just doing what the ad people and society are prompting us to do i.e. eat shit and buy shit en masse to line the pockets of the big manufacturers.

It takes effort in terms of time and mental energy to do eat well and be active habitually in the face of a bombardment of very clever advertising and merchandising. Many people are ground down by long hours and low pay (often for the companies involved) and do not feel able to muster the resources to change tack or resist the environment which is set up for them to fail.

I would probably be accused of abusing my dcs by making them do parkrun. However I would rather they learnt the true enjoyment of exercise than the false enjoyment of McDonald's.

Typo

Processed diet

I have one overweight dd (teenager) and one overweight (just) 10 year old. My middle child is built like a toothpick.

My older child was normal weight until she had some autonomy over her eating, when she started secondary school. We live in a rough area and there were 3 chicken shops within 50 yards of her school, plus a Greggs. Unbeknown to me she was spending her pocket money in these places, plus money her grandmother gave her. In the space of two years she became overweight, and now at 16 she is really, really big, mainly from drinking sugary drinks and binging on chocolate. What can I do other than not give her any money at all? Or take her baby-sitting money off her? I don't serve crap food at home, or have snacks in the house.

DS has autism, and is will eat until he's sick. He really loves food. I've got ground down by his stropping and he has had rather too many treats over the past few years, plus has overeaten at meals. He is also flat footed and finds exercise a struggle. I'm really watching him like a hawk at the moment.

It's so hard keeping them away from unhealthy food when every single shop, every single trip to the high street, every single stop at a garage, every single trip to family and friends, involves saying 'no' to requests or offers of food.

"Neglect is abuse. It's that simple."

My neices and nephews were VERY overweight as young children. I used to look at SIL and wonder how such an intelligent woman and great mother couldn't see that allowing them to eat their way through a whole packet of biscuits each after school, and serving adult sized portions (of nice, home cooked food) to 6 years olds was a problem. But she couldn't see it. Honestly I don't think she was neglecting her children, and all of them played loads of sport, even when overweight. She simply had a distorted idea of what it's ok for children to eat, and didn't see them as anything other than 'big'. Of the three who were overweight as children, one is normal weight, one is much slimmer than he was (but still overweight) and the other one is thin - because she now has anorexia. My children's weight problems have been caused by something else. I know they need to eat less, but I can't control my dd's eating any more, and my ds is very difficult to manage because of his special needs, and food is a problem for him.

Lurked of course that would have made my life easier but as this thread has repeatedly shown its not about having an easy life and the point is ive got rid of the weight now which is the main thing. Trouble is thats still not good enough for some. Even when obese ppl lose the weight we still get asked "Why did you get like that in the first place"

And nowhere on this thread have i said that kids shouldnt excersise I simply said the bullying should be tackled at the same time. The two arent mutually exclusive.

And as shown by the punishments for not wearing regulation uniform schools do it when they want to.

Allowing your fat children to eat their way through a whole packet of biscuits each, after school is bloody ridiculous. Even if you have a problem with 'not seeing' an adult portion size, there is no excuse for the whole packet of biscuits.

If their teeth were rotten and they were allowed whole packets of biscuits, would you not see that as neglect either?

"She simply had a distorted idea of what it's ok for children to eat"

I don't know a single adult who doesn't know you don't give kids a whole packet of biscuits to eat, especially when they're already fat.

And my experiences and all the hard work ive done has taught me much. Like humility and empathy.

Would i be the same sort of person if i had always been a smaller dress size and therefore took it for granted.

Comparing it to letting your children's teeth rot is a very good comparison.

That is clearly neglect.

My children's weight problems have been caused by something else. I know they need to eat less, but I can't control my dd's eating any more

You can try. There must be some good strategies to get teenagers on board with better eating and exercise.

minifingerz will your DS only eat certain things?

Lurked i was referring to the school CLASS photos I dont look different to a lot of the other kids.