to be really worried about possibly renting privately again aged 35!!?

[MigraineMartie]

Considering moving to the coast to be nearer to my mum ( currently 55 miles away )
Daughter starting school September so not much time to play with and obviously will have missed cut off dates however apparently schools not as over subscribed as here in surrey.
Only real issue is that we are renting this from HA, £1000 a month on an intermediate market rent but been here 4 years and as long as we pay the rent we will never have to leave.
Never rented with kids ( have 4 year old and baby ) but remember it pre kids and it was awful, landlords selling, upping the rent, ordering us not to paint etc etc.
Dreading the instability of it all but my heart wants to be closer to my mum and think better now than once kids are settled at school?

The council don't have to keep you near to the school. They house you were there is space. They also take their costs into consideration. Hence for example,
Why some are moved from London to Sheffield.
they don't have to give temp accommodation in bognor but anywhere in Sussex.

if you cannot afford to move, which you have said you cannot. Then stay where
You are and save.

You also say your partner is self employed. Have you done your homework so if his services will be required in the new area? Is the area awash in that area?

Xena I gave up a council flat to move to Australia. Was I being selfish? My DC were very happy in their schools...though older DD had yet to move up to the local comp. I left that "secure" life to live in an entirely different country...away from all their friends and family.

They are by the way, very happy with our new lives and with our new RENTAL...private or not. It's not long term....we might have to leave in 10 months when the lease is up...but I have no regrets and neither do they.

This sounds like a totally different situation though. I mean, presumably if you moved to Aus you had to be heading there with financial security in mind - or at least a job - otherwise they wouldn't have let you into the country, correct? The OP, on the other hand, doesn't have work lined up and acknowledges it would be difficult to find down there, and she's also relying on the council to instantly house her if her rental turns out not to be long term. She's in cloud cuckoo land about being rehoused, thinking it'll just fall in her lap, and she's already said she doesn't have the money to finance a further private rental/deposit if she does have to leave a rental. She's willingly considering giving up secure housing for her children, for that kind of insecurity, just because she doesn't like being an hour and a half away from her mum. I find that staggering, selfish, extremely immature and, I'm afraid, rather pathetic.

However, I can see why she thinks this is a good thing to do; if her mother cries manipulative tears in front of the grandchildren, no doubt she's doing the same to the OP.

Andnow I have a friend as a single person living in a 2 bed HA flat. She was charged £12 a week bedroom tax but this was up North. I wasn't sure if somewhere like Surrey might have higher rates. If it's the same charges across the country it seems really silly of the OP's mum to move away from her for the sake of £48 a month

I wouldn't leave a secure tenancy for anything other than an owned place.

Unless she did it fancying being by the seaside and knowing full well that the OP would follow behind her

I cannot believe what a flaming OP is getting.

By the sounds of things she DOESN'T have a secure tenancy at all but a periodic tenancy. Rent hikes on intermediate tenancies could be steep at renewal - just look at the ONS predictions for London population explosion in the next decade - average rents will only climb up and up and OP's 80% (?) of the average rent will climb with that average.

OP why don't you start looking at Bognor rentals? The decision will get easier when you actually see specific houses, maybe?

FWIW, in your shoes, I'd seriously consider moving.

She's not getting a flaming; people are trying to drum some common sense into her. Because she doesn't seem to care if her family ends up in B&B, just because she doesn't like being away from her mum. Its ludicrous.

'As long as we pay the rent here we never have to leave'

It is a secure tenancy at an intermediate market rent, it's completely different to private renting and dealing with private landlords. I have had to move 8 times in 10 years due to landlords selling up.

Exactly Xena. She is so consumed by missing her mum that all common sense has gone out of the window. When you have dependents you cannot just think with your heart.

OP's mum should have thought of consequences of moving to that location.
Kingston to Stretham isn't 15 min travel by all means. Maybe OP's mum was travelling on public transport but that would have been 45 min minimum. Now granny has job and less time so puts pressure on her dd to sort it out!

I live in London and know how hard it is to get 3 bed for rent of 1K. Impossible unless via housing association.

OP's mum wants her cake and eat it.

OP has a choice to faciliate it or not.

Right, there two opposing issues for you OP.

One is emotional ...... You miss your mum, as she's not on your doorstep anymore and you'd love to change that.

The other is practical. The cost of moving (whether renting or buying). Moving schools for the kids. Jobs for you & OP (even if he is self-employed). Etc etc.

If you go down the emotional route, and really really can't imagine life without your mum round the corner (and I say that as someone with parents in the same town, with a nice, normal average relationship with them), then nothing we say on the practical element is going to make a difference to you.

If you want to consider the practical elements, then start a plan. What could you save monthly in the next 3/6/12/24 months to make a move financially easier / more secure? Could your mum travel to you for visits (with financial assistance from you, if necessary) to see if you can strike a balance between seeing her, without upping sticks?

OP has small kids so she can't just pop to Bognor for cofee.
I guess DM can't drive so now it's all responsibility of OP to go to visit them.
Does your mum come to stay over the night?
If she did that once a week you'd see much more of her.

It depends on the landlord...when looking at properties you can ask the letting agents to find out whether the landlord has any short to medium term plans to sell.

Of course, they can lie but most decent people would just tell you.

I've been renting privately in one property now for four years.

It depends on the landlord...when looking at properties you can ask the letting agents to find out whether the landlord has any short to medium term plans to sell. Of course, they can lie but most decent people would just tell you.

It doesn't really matter what they say; a few months later, their circumstances may change, and they can sell. You have to find an affordable new property near your kids' school. You have to come up with removals costs, letting agent fees and a new deposit, usually before your former deposit is released. You may pay a few weeks' of double rent due to tenancy overlaps.

If you feel like you've got a good, secure private rental, that's great, but it's only like that until the landlord changes their mind, and it's nothing compared to a genuinely secure HA tenency.

Yes, every single landlord has promised me it's long term.

I've had the same from private landlords. They always want 'long term' tenants, but then a year later the property prices go up, or their circumstances change and you are buggered.

Our last move involved nearly £400 worth of fees (same letting agent as last house but they had to re-reference us), a two week overlap in rent as new LL insisted on a certain move in date so that was about £400 down the drain, £1500 deposit (extra because we have a cat), and £300 for movers. We did get most of the deposit back for old place, but had to wait for that to hit our account, so that's a pain in the ass. Plus there are affordability assessments. If you don't have a job lined up then how will you convince the letting agent you can pay your rent?

^^ What they said.

Do people not know that a large proportion landlords aren't just people who have a spare house to rent out long term? They are business people who buy properties cheaply, do them up, rent them out, then sell them on for profit when the housing market upturns. This is how people in rentals end up being evicted. The landlord sells for profit.

Also, OP, if you need to rely on any percentage of housing benefit, you may as well forget a private rental these days.

Oh yes I forgot about that Xena. If you are on HB then any half decent property will be closed to you. I saw an estate agent advert the other day stating 'no dogs or DSS'. Just goes to show how people on benefits are viewed!

I'll try not to miss anything out as I really do appreciate the replies whether I feel I'm getting a flaming or not.
I would have asked otherwise so thankyou to all of you who have replied so far.
My mums bedroom tax was going to be about £150 a month, not a massive amount but was bringing her total up to £750 a month for a 2 bed flat ( well one bedroom and one box room ) which is £125 more than what she's paying now for a 2 doubly bedroomed house.
We do stay over occasionally but her husband works in security so often nights at weekends which makes it unfair to have 2 kids who are up at 6.30am making a noise just as he's getting home.
She did make the call to move as she had a transfer lined up herself but has reduced her hours as was finding it hard ( works in quite a stressful job ) and also just didn't want to see out her days in south london.
She grew up in bognor as a child so often had holidays there as did I so felt familiar with the area.
All of our landlords also told us they were long term but increased rent beyond our affordability / sold as were going bankrupt / made up leave to extend and re let / marriage broke down so she had to move back in.
We couldn't afford a 3 bed here anyway unless it were for this HA property although the poster who said it can increase is right, it needs to be no more than 80% of marker rent and at the moment is £1025 per month ( a good £75 a month more than it would be in bognor ) and could increase ( although has never increased in the time we have been here although the service charge started at £30 and is now £75 per month )
I don't think she means to be manipulative, but she is quite dependant.
I'm an only child and she was a single mother, only meeting my step dad a few years back so our relationship has always been somewhat intense.
The job situation wouldn't change that much for my husband, he's an electrician so travels to where the work is day by day.
The kids are a worry however as obviously there are slightly less jobs in seaside resorts however I guess they always need public service people so all really depends on what they want to do when they are grown.
I didn't know they didn't have to house you locally, I wrongly assumed if you had been in the area 6 months that council had a duty as that's what it says on the website however I guess that means they have a duty to give you SOMEWHERE not where you choose.
That would be a nightmare with kids at school as my daughter is pretty sensitive hence not wanting her to start school here and look at the situation again in a few years.
We can't save anything, we are on one wage of £2400 a month just enough to stop us getting any housing benefit but not enough to save a penny.
I actually haven't discussed this with my husban as yet but will be tonight when the kids are asleep

That £75 a month difference could be saved so that at the end of 6 months you'd have saved £450. Hopefully you wouldn't need to move after 6 months so you could continue to save.
I think if you do go then you need to make saving a condition of moving so that you aren't at the mercy of the council.

I can really empathise with wanting to be close to your Mum. I wouldn't be living in my hometown now if I hadn't been lured back because of family. When I was younger I swore I would never return here.

I didn't know they didn't have to house you locally, I wrongly assumed if you had been in the area 6 months that council had a duty as that's what it says on the website however I guess that means they have a duty to give you SOMEWHERE not where you choose.

Well, of course that's what it means, did you think you were just going to move to Bognor, rock up at the council and choose whichever one of their 3 bedroomed houses you fancied after six months? Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I'm incredulous at your lack of thought about this.

If you're on the list (and you have to get on it in the first place) and bidding for properties, some categories of applicant have the right to refuse if an offer is made and stay on the list, some do not. For example if a disabled person is offered an unsuitable property I think they can refuse it. If you are being made homeless, ie, if your landlord is evicting you, you must take the first property offered to you or be removed from the list. There will also be many, many people ahead of you, which is why people end up in B&B accommodation - which I presume you think is like being on holiday? It's not. You get one room in a shared house for the family.

To get on the list in the first place you have to go through an application process and then wait to be assessed before they give you a banding. Only then can you bid for properties, and only those applicable to your band. Like I said, it took my local council 11 months to assess my application, there's such a backlog of people applying - and I'm disabled and in need of a ground floor place (which I am currently not in).

Please, do your research before you even consider this. You already have a home, and there are thousands and thousands of people in far more need than you who are waiting years to be housed - the number of bids on each family sized property in my area can run into hundreds - so I'm not sure why you think you'll get somewhere after six months.

The thought of someone willingly subjecting their children to a miserable existence in one-roomed B&B accommodation just because they want to live near their mum is horrific.

How about your mum coming to stay with you once a week?

stories.shelter.org.uk/went-homeless-housed/?_ga=1.198061679.136642775.1459182442

That family where incredibly lucky to be housed so quickly. And I do wonder if this was purely down to special needs.
Op, there is abig risk that you wouldn't
Be rehoused within 6 weeks. Some councils get round this by moving b&b's at 6 weeks. Even more disruption and cost to up and move every 6 weeks.

Another thing I completely forgot about. Storage costs. Your lives aside from a few clothes, and a few of the kids toys will be in storage at your expense.