Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

AIBU to be really cross with FIL for inviting people on our holiday?

122 replies

SimileMilly · 26/03/2016 12:12

We booked Centerparcs for later this year around 2 months after we are due or second child and have since invited FIL and his partner to come with us. They live about 2hrs away and we don't see them as often as MIL and my parents. It only cost £30 to upgrade our lodge to include them - they've not mentioned contributing to the overall cost but we invited them so I don't really expect it. FIL is not my favourite person but I like his partner and I'm sure I can tolerate him for the sake of a weekend.

FIL has just texted me to say they're really looking forward to coming and have invited his partner's two children too. Before I launch into a full on hormonal strop, that's not really on is it? They're 21 and 17 so not exactly children incapable of being left alone for a weekend. They have never come to any family events we've invited them to before. It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge and if nothing else DP has met them once and I've never met them! DP thinks I'm being unreasonable to say no. I don't think I am, but I understand my hormones might be impacting on my decision!

OP posts:

JinRamen · 26/03/2016 18:56

Cheeky! I would tell him in no uncertain terms to feck off!!

DartmoorDoughnut · 26/03/2016 18:59

Hope the phone call goes ok!!

notonyurjellybellynelly · 26/03/2016 19:08

Some people just dont think before they do this kind of thing. But it sounds as if you've managed to sort it out so no harm done.

It might be a good idea though for all of you to make more of an effort and try to gel a bit more as a family, and this we break could be the way to do that.

BeaufortBelle · 26/03/2016 19:14

Yikes, I haven't read the full thread and am sure others will have said what I'm about to say. Our DC are 21 and 17. "would you like to come to centreparks with some little children and their parents" would be met with "ROFL - WTF - mum, you aren't actually being serious are you?"

I'd just text back and say "it would be lovely to see the older "children", it will cost £xxx to upgrade the accommodation to accommodate them and here are our bank details for you to transfer the money". Oh, it will so lovely to have everyone there, especially if the older ones will be happy to do a bit of baby sitting so we can go out as grown ups and of course we'll pay them our usual babysitting rate". Oh, so looking forward to it and seeing you all". Squeeeeeee xx.

. They'll back track in nano seconds or fall in and they'll think you are wondrously gracious and accommodating.

Holeypurplesocks · 26/03/2016 19:15

I think he's decided to treat all of you, then thought if he's paying for your family he may as well invite his partners DC too.
Otherwise he's jolly rude.

expatinscotland · 26/03/2016 19:21

Your DP needs to get a backbone because you have to be very clear with such pisstakers. 'Dad, you will need to book your own lodge if your partner's kids want to come along.'

Original poster

SimileMilly · 26/03/2016 19:49

FIL has been put in his place and told if teens are coming they're in their own lodge. He is apparently going to "think about" what he wants to do. So I still don't really know! But knowing him they'll decide last minute and all other lodges will be sold out. Either way it is no longer our problem or expense.

Thanks for being my sounding board. First ever AIBU so was expecting to be torn apart!

OP posts:

Original poster

SimileMilly · 26/03/2016 19:49

< hopes neither FIL nor his partner have MN >

OP posts:

notonyurjellybellynelly · 26/03/2016 19:52

FIL has been put in his place

That'll teach him eh!

TiredOfSleep · 26/03/2016 19:53

Are you upgrading or assuming they take the other lodge?

Original poster

SimileMilly · 26/03/2016 19:55

We are absolutely NOT upgrading. We'll stick with the three bed and if they want to make their own plans then my parents --who will be totally grateful and not make any fuss or invite anyone else - can come with us

OP posts:

nilbyname · 26/03/2016 19:57

Bet your Fil thought he was on a good old gravy train of freebies!

My DH and I are generous by nature but not particialry well off, bill thought otherwise and would abuse our good nature time and time again. Grabby arse!

notonyurjellybellynelly · 26/03/2016 20:01

Bet your Fil thought he was on a good old gravy train of freebies

And maybe he's just didn't think at all.

It happens.

There doesn't always have to be an ulterior motive.

Squiff85 · 26/03/2016 20:02

You need to say nicely that there isn't room in the lodge, of course they'd be welcome to book and stay in a separate lodge....

bloodyteenagers · 26/03/2016 20:13

If he is a cheeky grabby fucker, after he has thought about it, he will have a wonderful suggestion.

Your children can share your room. And the older step children can either share that now spare room, or one can take the room and the other can crash on the sofa..
Alter all, it's what families do all the time. Squeeze in

amarmai · 26/03/2016 20:16

op, you need to help your dh to figure out why his f thinks it's ok to assume he can do what he tried to get off with. There's an abusive history there and your dh needs to root it out and see it for what it is .

Original poster

SimileMilly · 26/03/2016 20:16

We preempted that bloody and pointed out they were really strict about numbers going through the main gate.

OP posts:

weirdsister · 26/03/2016 21:19

Yes they look in the car to see how many passengers you have.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/03/2016 21:23

Good. Glad fil was told. Bet they don't come

Paaaaaaaaaaaaarty :)

22sailors · 27/03/2016 11:32

I would say in no uncertain terms that there s not room for another adults and just after having a baby there is no way you want people of that age rolling in at all times of the night which is exactly what will happen. This was very rude and I think he's trying it on to see how much you'll take so make sure he knows you're no walkover.

MrsHathaway · 27/03/2016 12:24

CP rooms are tiny - absolutely no space to squeeze extras in.

Hope you have a lovely time, OP.

girlywhirly · 27/03/2016 16:50

Friends of mine had twins of 7mo, and CP said they weren't allowed to have two travel cots in their double room, only one, because of fire regs and potentially blocking escape routes. (So a baby and a 4yo in the parents room would be out of the question.) They used to move one cot to the lounge area during the day to use as a playpen and move it back at night, in case CP staff were checking!

I'm glad FIL now knows how things are. So he may come without the DSC and moan all weekend, or bring DSC and stay in separate lodge and moan all weekend! I agree with PP who said he probably hasn't thought it out at all. Maybe he thought it would be a brilliant idea to push the family together, while looking as if he had organised the whole thing to the DSC. (And for all they knew, paying for it all) I hate it when people do things like that to make themselves look good, when it is none of their doing.

I hope that FIL either stays separately or doesn't come at all, and then your DP'S can come instead!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread