AIBU to be really cross with FIL for inviting people on our holiday?

[SimileMilly]

We booked Centerparcs for later this year around 2 months after we are due or second child and have since invited FIL and his partner to come with us. They live about 2hrs away and we don't see them as often as MIL and my parents. It only cost £30 to upgrade our lodge to include them - they've not mentioned contributing to the overall cost but we invited them so I don't really expect it. FIL is not my favourite person but I like his partner and I'm sure I can tolerate him for the sake of a weekend.

FIL has just texted me to say they're really looking forward to coming and have invited his partner's two children too. Before I launch into a full on hormonal strop, that's not really on is it? They're 21 and 17 so not exactly children incapable of being left alone for a weekend. They have never come to any family events we've invited them to before. It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge and if nothing else DP has met them once and I've never met them! DP thinks I'm being unreasonable to say no. I don't think I am, but I understand my hormones might be impacting on my decision!

Cheeky fucker. Any reply OP?

Have you heard back from him?

I'm surprised your DH is fine with the idea?!

"It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge"

" I've sent a reply stating it would be X amount to upgrade again or £100 less than that of they were to book a studio lodge for themselves. I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to confrontation (probably why he texted me and not DP!)"

And did you make clear that he would be paying for the upgrade? Although it is implied, otherwise why tell him the amount involved? So, if he comes back and asks you to upgrade, the response you give MUST be along the lines of 'Will do, once you send us the money; we can't afford to do it ourselves.' Anything less definite and you could find yourselves manipulated into paying.

Or, you could suggest that he takes over your lodge booking in it's entirety and you'll go another time?

Seriously, both you and DP need to strengthen your spines in this sort of situation.

Thanks for all backing me up that I'm not just having a tantrum by saying no!

He did reply: "thanks for the info"

DP is on my side now and going to phone him tonight. He's an awkward character! (FIL, not DP!) I'm actually regretting inviting them altogether and just invited my parents instead

"It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge"

Erm, no it bloody-well won't!

They invite two additional strangers on your weekend break, they pay for them or none of them come at all.

So, you're still mine the wiser!

Please update once your DH speaks to him!

"He did reply: "thanks for the info""
Which gives you the opening to respond - 'it's not info, it's the reason it can't happen.'

You may already know this but CP is very strict on number of occupants, definitely not possible to smuggle in extras.

Thanks for the info

Hahahahaha

DP is going to have to be very clear, as you should be in future. People like that need it spelled out for them, leaving zero room for doubt re responsibility and respect.

Good luck, OP. Looking forward to your update.

Did your text make it clear you don't intend to pay the extra for them?
Just wondering if your FIL thinks you are giving him the option of an upgrade or separate accommodation that you are going to pay for...

Awkward. They are very reasonable but I'd have sent the

You need to be really clear in your communication.
Is he going to send a bank transfer to cover the cost of the upgrade, or will they sort out their own accommodation.

He doesn't want/is not going to pay it. He also knows he is taking the piss - the 'thanks for the info' is completly ambigious and he knows you will now be thinking 'hell what's going on here?'

WTF is wrong with some people?

Your dp needs to call his dad and say " hi dad, what are you doing about this weekend at CP? Can you foot the upgrade (we cannot afford it) as there is NO room for the two lads OR are you going to get your own villa? Which the two lads will probally prefer than a crying baby all night'

Yanbu
He is being outrageous

"Thanks for the info"

Your FIL is so weird! Bad luck.

I think your DP will have to be very rigid in what he says. No ambiguity at all. Do you actually still want to even go with the extra two uninvited guests?

It's not just the cost.
With a 2 month old baby I wouldn't want to be in a lodge with a 17 and 21 yo I don't really know, they will stay up late, you will want to wander in night in nightie, feeding or getting little one to sleep, it just isn't enough privacy.

If they insist on bringing them, insist they book their own separate lodge.

Honestly, you will regret the whole hol otherwise.

The text you sent sounds like you are paying for the upgrade. His response could be interpreted that he thinks it's all on.

Good luck

Oh good grief! Say no. No. No.

Just text back "here's the number for you to contact for the upgrade or studio, let us know what you decide" Surely he can't misinterpret that.

Does OP want to upgrade though-she'll probably end up having to pay for half of the food for 7/8 people!

I would now say can you let us know if you ( fil and partner) still want to share our cabin as you need to confirm the booking ( wink wink) they may say no they'll share with the 17 and 21 year olds and you might be able to get some money back - very rude of him, even if they are paying you were really the hosts of this trip and it is not for guests to invite extra party members