AIBU to be really cross with FIL for inviting people on our holiday?

[SimileMilly]

We booked Centerparcs for later this year around 2 months after we are due or second child and have since invited FIL and his partner to come with us. They live about 2hrs away and we don't see them as often as MIL and my parents. It only cost £30 to upgrade our lodge to include them - they've not mentioned contributing to the overall cost but we invited them so I don't really expect it. FIL is not my favourite person but I like his partner and I'm sure I can tolerate him for the sake of a weekend.

FIL has just texted me to say they're really looking forward to coming and have invited his partner's two children too. Before I launch into a full on hormonal strop, that's not really on is it? They're 21 and 17 so not exactly children incapable of being left alone for a weekend. They have never come to any family events we've invited them to before. It will cost us an additional £460 to upgrade again to a 4 bedroom lodge and if nothing else DP has met them once and I've never met them! DP thinks I'm being unreasonable to say no. I don't think I am, but I understand my hormones might be impacting on my decision!

Do the children live with FIL and his partner, if they do it would be a bit odd for them to come with out them?

However it is perfectly acceptable to say that it wasn't the sort of get together you expected. You will have an 8 week old baby and will need a more peaceful break with less people.

but are you sure he'll expect you to pay?

Just ask him how he wants to arrange their accommodation,s end a link to the website, explain kindly that your cabin would not fit them, so ...greta he is brining them and he and better book soon before it all gets booked up.

Don't simmer in silence, just communicate with him.

Some people have the cheek of ten arses!

You havnt exactly told him no though. He could suggest that he pays the difference and you all still go in together.

I would text back - "on second thoughts FIL, why don't you book a studio as they look fab, you will have more room for you all and no screaming baby at 2am, 4am and 6am (unless you want to baby sit )

But they're not really children, are they? I think it's perfectly normal to leave teens/young adults at home, especially when the purpose of the holiday is to spend time with a new grandchild.

Just text back to say that would have been lovely, but there isn't room in the lodge that you've booked.

You don't need to say anything else, if they really want them to come then they will sort themselves out.

Very cheeky!

If I was 17 or 21 I really couldn't think of anything worse tbh

Chocolateaddict I'm loving the cheek of ten arses And have squirrelled it away for future use!

You can't just add extra people willy-nilly to a Center Parcs booking. It's not somewhere you can set up extra camp beds. They check numbers on the gate, and you have to have put the full name and date of birth of everyone in the party on the booking. Who is your lead booker? Check the booking reference online.

I can see why you don't like him !

But when you texted him OP did you just state how much it would be to upgrade or did you make it clear he would have to pay this?

If you just said it will cost £x to upgrade you are merely giving him information.

Fuckers this cheeky have to have it SPELT OUT TO THEM.

That is very rude.

You can't just invite another two adults to CP. I would have replied saying-'oh, right. Well, there won't be room in the 3-bed villa for them as well but I suppose you could see if there are any nearby villas available for you all? I will swap our villa back to a 2 bedroom one and you can make your own plans'

Then leave it entirely up to them to sort out. I wouldn't mention upgrading again!

I NEED a conversation with someone today where I can say the cheek of ten arses!

So cheeky!

Did you spell it out that the upgrade fee would be down to them? I'd be inclined to follow up with a message saying "If you want me to invite X & Y as well and upgrade the lodge I will need you to cover this cost, so can you please transfer £500 to me first, before I change the booking. My bank details are XYZ."

Damn cheeky! Not up to him to invite extra guests on YOUR holiday! People you haven't even met as well.

£460 is an enormous amount extra to pay out, why should you? And even if FIL paid it, still it's not on at all.

I would not want an extra two people I didn't know in my villa with a newborn! You can bet your bottom dollar that they'll split every meal two ways-it will cost you a fortune when you are there!!

I'd reply "Good idea. I'll downgrade our accommodation back to the smaller one, and you'll can arrange accommodation for you all away from the screaming baby. Can't wait. "

Cheeky bastard, I hope he doesn't assume from your text that you'd be paying to upgrade!

I would text what Chocolateaddict says above, quick!!

Your text was sadly suggesting you don't mind. I wonder if he'll reply saying he'll split the cost of the upgrade with you !

It's really not a difficult dilemma, OP. Just text back "unfortunately there is no room for them in our lodge so shall DH and the kids and me just go in our own lodge and you can arrange a separate booking with your kids? Probably for the best as then you won't be kept awake by the baby all night and we can meet up as and when we feel like."

.

fedup I did think that myself!

I would be very careful sharing a villa as how will you split food costs?