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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be worried about where my daughter is.

169 replies

Moxiechick · 25/03/2016 20:24

My ex has taken our dd who is 2 to a museum for the day. He mentioned yesterday that he was going to introduce her to the woman he is seeing.
He picked her up at 1 this afternoon and it takes roughly an hour to get there on the tube. I asked what time he'd bring her back and he answered 'dunno it closes at 5'. I checked and it closes at 5.50 so tried to guess what time they'd get back. He has form for not being able to give times when having her. So I just asked him to text me when they were on their way back.
I text him at 18:30 to ask if he knew what time they'd be back and he hasn't been online to read it which I get as he could be on the tube. I've called since then and it just says this phone is unavailable.
I'm sat here really worried as I have no idea where she is and when she'll be back. Maybe I'm being pfb please be gentle with me if you think so.
I've just been thinking how long do I leave it? And what do I do when that time comes?
He's on the birth certificate and had never not returned her before but has form for lateness.

OP posts:
Jitterybug · 25/03/2016 21:18

I was hoping to read she is back now, really hoping she is op. You must be frantic, this is not acceptable for anyone, especially your poor dd.

ohlittlepea · 25/03/2016 21:18

hope your daughter is back now xxx You must be so worried, what a cruel selfish man.

Iambubbles86 · 25/03/2016 21:19

Hope she's back with you soon op. I would completely blow my lid if my 2 year old had been gone this long with no contact. Male sure you Dont do it in front of her though, like others said try and stay calm and find out your rights.

CakeNinja · 25/03/2016 21:19

Hoping she's home now op, and if she isn't quite back yet, I'm sure she's completely fine, albeit tired and crabby.
Sounds like he enjoys playing games with you, and knows full well how worried you would be.
Tosser.
Let us know when you can Flowers

CoperCabana · 25/03/2016 21:19

Really hope it is all resolved.

UptownFunk00 · 25/03/2016 21:20

Any news?

What an asshole :(

guiltynetter · 25/03/2016 21:21

hope she's back now. I would be beyond fuming once I'd got over the worrying and probably be tempted to not let him take her again. she is 2, she's still practically a baby. urgh.

Wilberforce2 · 25/03/2016 21:21

I have a 2yo and the thought of not knowing where she was at this time of night is horrible, even if she was with her Dad. Hope she is home and tucked up in bed now, you must be frantic x

ImperialBlether · 25/03/2016 21:21

It should be supervised contact from now on, in my opinion. He's not acting in her best interests at all.

CalleighDoodle · 25/03/2016 21:23

Definitely to court next. This is controlling. You cant ho out if he doesnt make proper arrangements or stick to them.

halloweensquish · 25/03/2016 21:24

I hope he's brought her back by now X what a dick

LaConnerie · 25/03/2016 21:25

Just seen this thread and was really hoping to read by the end that your Dd woud be back.

I hope its resolved by now OP. And i agree, either supervised contact from now on, or at least pick up/drop off times clearly agreed on - if hes doing this to push your buttons he's a complete bastard.

Howardshouse · 25/03/2016 21:25

I really hope she's home, safe and sound.

Notimefortossers · 25/03/2016 21:27

I hope you're not responding because he came back and you're currently having a MASSIVE go at him. I hope this gives you some legal grounds to restrict access. He's clearly not looking out for the best interests of his daughter

MissusWrex · 25/03/2016 21:28
Shock

I hope she is back now op you must be going crazy.

Definitely call the police if she isn't!

99percentchocolate · 25/03/2016 21:29

Fingers firmly crossed that she is back now and you are busy tucking her up in bed.

MummaV · 25/03/2016 21:29

I hope she's home with you now OP. What a shit thing for him to do.

haventgotaclue1 · 25/03/2016 21:30

I keep refreshing the page in the hope that there's news that your DD is back home safe and sound OP. Really hope she is

DartmoorDoughnut · 25/03/2016 21:31

Fucking hell Sad I have an 18month old and the thought of not knowing where he is at this time of night gives me the heebie jeebies, really hope she's home now Flowers

OneLove10 · 25/03/2016 21:33

Hoping that your DD is back with you now. What a cruel thing to do to you op.

Comeonmommy · 25/03/2016 21:33

My ex does this with my dd all the time and even though I know she's safe - she's with her daddy - I sit and worry and go through all the awful scenarios and then he waltzes in, calmly asks me what were you worrying about and then leaves. It turns my stomach every time an I agree - a text.... How hard would that be????? I hope you post very very soon to tell us your dd is home safe and sound X

Muddlewitch · 25/03/2016 21:35

This is such a shitty way for him to behave, definitely get it logged and seek legal advice.

Hope your dd is back with you now, what a horrible evening you must have had Sad

Teddy1970 · 25/03/2016 21:35

I hope she's back now OP, and YANBU in the slightest, I'd feel exactly the same, she's two years old for crying out loud and needs her routine of tea, bath and bed by 7pm. I'm sure she's safe but he is a complete fuckwit for not updating you of their wereabouts.

RedOnHerHedd · 25/03/2016 21:36

I'd react the same as you OP. Also hoping the reason you haven't updated is because you're busy getting her settled into bed. ThanksThanksThanks

starry0ne · 25/03/2016 21:39

Hope she is back safety..If not definitely Log it with the police..

I would also be getting legal advice... This is more likely probably part of his game and will enjoy the fact he knows you are worried

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