Aibu to be worried about where my daughter is.

[Moxiechick]

My ex has taken our dd who is 2 to a museum for the day. He mentioned yesterday that he was going to introduce her to the woman he is seeing.
He picked her up at 1 this afternoon and it takes roughly an hour to get there on the tube. I asked what time he'd bring her back and he answered 'dunno it closes at 5'. I checked and it closes at 5.50 so tried to guess what time they'd get back. He has form for not being able to give times when having her. So I just asked him to text me when they were on their way back.
I text him at 18:30 to ask if he knew what time they'd be back and he hasn't been online to read it which I get as he could be on the tube. I've called since then and it just says this phone is unavailable.
I'm sat here really worried as I have no idea where she is and when she'll be back. Maybe I'm being pfb please be gentle with me if you think so.
I've just been thinking how long do I leave it? And what do I do when that time comes?
He's on the birth certificate and had never not returned her before but has form for lateness.

I thought about calling 101 but if I'm honest I'm a bit worried about doing so as I know he will go ape shit.
I do realise that's stupid and will call at 9 if I don't hear from them.

Of course yanbu. I agree with everyone else who says he is being controlling and unkind.

And YES I would say it if the sexes or relationship dynamics were reversed too. Of course your co-parent needs to know that your child is in safe hands and is coming home at a specified time.

YANBU its incredibly selfish to not be contactable. And past her bedtime.

Perhaps call 101 in a "worried as can't contact them way" rather than "he has abducted her way".

You can call 101 for some advice? Your exp doesn't need to know you did so...

Yes, I'd ring 101 for advice. No need for direct police involvement unless he's done something wrong, so he wouldn't find out anyway.

Can you go over to his house?

Would his family have the number of the new girlfriend? She might not be so shit with answering/charging phones - has to be worth a shot?

This so the sort of thing my ex would do and it is so unfair to make you worry like that.
I hope she is home and tucked up in bed soon xx

I'd call them now. It's almost 9, even if he's just held up its highly unreasonable of him not to contact you.

I'm sad for you, and think he's being a total got. He's just trying to unsettle you.

Git, not got!

Totally unacceptable on his part. She is 2 ffs.

You need to be firmer with timings for the future contact. I agree with pp above 4.30 if not having dinner and 6pm latest if having dinner.

I would be worried as well, I hope she turns up soon, she must be exhausted. No point getting into it with him tonight, have a think about reasonable contact and send it to him tomorrow.

I've called his sisters who are trying to get hold of him now. They didn't know about the new girlfriend so wouldn't have her number.

I was prepared to tell you you're being a drama queen but she's two, it's 9pm and he has form.

If you don't hear something soon, I'd probably phone 101 myself.

Bastard.

Well it's nice that you have some support from his family. I hope your little girl is home very soon.

I keep frantically checking this thread in the hope she's home.

My son is two and no matter who he was with, if it was 9pm and I had no idea where he was I would be so upset and worried, most probably crying too actually

I've messaged 2 of his friends on Facebook. He's not on it anymore, but probably is under a different name so I don't see anything.
I feel sick

My ex tried this. The DDs were much older, 7 and 10 maybe? It was Halloween and they were 2 hours late getting back.

I'm not ashamed to say I went completely fucking batshit. I was mid divorce and he got a letter from my solicitor (cost me £15 but worth every penny). He is not allowed to do this to you. It's cruel and unacceptable, and it's actually ok to withdraw contact if he can't be trusted.

And who gives a shit if he goes mad? You're separated from him.

What an insensitive bastard.
Agree with above say very little when he drops her off, then get some advice about formalising his time with her.
I would be going out of my mind now, the bought of my DC being somewhere at this time of night without me panics me a little.

I'm sure she's fine and he's just being an arse but I would definitely ring the police, they were expected back hours ago.

Hoping she's home safely soon

Right it's 21.00, cal the police

Oh blimey OP poor you how stressful. Chances are she is fine and he is just being a fuckwit but you must be out if your mind.
Have you phoned the police yet?