to not like being called by my first name?

[bbcessex]

Went into the bank during a work break to pay a cheque in. The cashier processed the cheque, then said "Thanks for that Jane*, all done."

Bank in question has done this before, must be their protocol.

I don't like it - it seems very over familiar to me. I don't mind being called 'Mrs. Smith*', or being called nothing at all, but I don't like being called by my first name in these situations. If its designed to make me feel more loved and welcome, it has the opposite effect on me.

AIBU or just plain weird?!

• not actual name

I prefer first names. We're all human, and everyone is equal. If I go to buy something in a shop, I don't think that I'm above the shop assistant and that they should therefore be deferential to me. As a student, I did plenty of work myself in the service sector. I'm no better or worse than anyone else, so I don't want to defer or be deferred to.

Meh, doesn't bother me at all. People can call me Fred/Bob/George/Roger for all I care. I've more important things to be concerned about than whether people are calling me by my actual name.

Strip away titles, wealth, status and all the rest as we're all humans. I don't believe being called by my first name is any less respectful than being called Mrs Chiggers. I can't control what other do or say, so I'm not going to get het up about being respectful. A person either respects me or they don't. Either way, I'm not bothered.

"I can't control what others do"

It is actually a working class thing to use titles so not snooty/stuffy at all.

No it's not.

I think its just the 'media' type training that goes on these days. The people working there probably don't want to do all this ( they have to be polite of course, but calling people by their first name is a bit too far I think) I heard someone say once that calling people by their first name makes them actually listen and engage - I just hate it personally.
If i am telephone banking with my bank though, they tend to say Mrs..
more annoying in my branch bank though is the fact its all been done up lovely with TV's and a fancy machine to pay money in, but no bloody staff. Or the ones hanging around do not go on the spare tills despite a queue out the door and the one lady serving has to say ' sorry for the wait..' and gets all the flack when its not her fault. ( sorry to rant)

It's your name. What's the problem?

I find it old fashioned and a bit precious to insist on people using your title and surname. I loathe being called Mrs President, much prefer Pingu, and actually go by Pings 99% ofthe time (insert RL names here. I'm not actually a cartoon penguin who's been elected to political office).

For the PP who asked if I call my children's teacher Mrs Surname; yes I do as that's how she's known to the cildren and it'd be a bit weird grabbing her at pick up for a quick questionand calling her Jane rather than Mrs Smith.

I don't mind people using my first name although I hate the overuse of it. I had a great aunt who said to me that nobody ever called her by her given name as all her contemporaries had died and everybody else addressed her as Mrs or by a title such as mum or aunt. Times have changed and I think it makes society feel more friendly.

I remember when I studied in Germany that I was always called Frau Surname by the lecturers whereas it was definitely first-name terms at university in England.
Re. teaching, my friend worked at a French primary school during her PGCE and said the children called her by her first name. I don't know if that's generally the custom in France.

I don't mind first names but I do think shortening my first name is over familiar to the point of rude.

I always write to DC's teachers as Dear Mr Surname and sign as Hiding Rock.
They always reply as Dear Hiding and sign as Firstname.

Sometimes I feel hypocritical not taking the hint, but its all I can do to remember one name for them, and when discussing them at home they are usually referred to as Mrs Science or Mr History or Miss Maths, especially if they have had the temerity to change their surname for some reason.

DC addresses them as Mr Surname or Sir, so I don't think I am offending anyone.

I dislike it when people overuse names in general when it just isn't needed...just sounds fake and like they are practising some perceived social skill.

My son's friend does this (age 9), as well as a couple of colleagues. I am pretty sure he has been taught to. Irrationally it makes me less fond of him/them.

Regular Kid - can I use the phone please to ring my mum? Thanks!
Him - Jane, can I use the phone to ring my mum please? Thanks Jane - I appreciate that Jane.

DC's teacher - definitely Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms.

I like to be asked because my full first name is not the name I have ever gone by, so let's say my name was Anna-Jane Smith I like if people ask "can I call you Anna-Jane" so I can inform them that I go by 'AJ' otherwise it feel rude to correct them and I get called by a name that's not my name. Ms Smith is always OK but I'll usually say 'you can call me AJ'.

I wonder if it's an American thing?

No, it's not. And the title thing is easy in the US. Ms is the default for women, especially in a business context, which makes using the surname with women you don't know well an easy choice.

Someone asked if it was an "American thing"
Not in my experience when living there.
It was only "Ma'am" "Sir"

I find it a bit over-familiar in a formal setting , such as in a bank.
And I don't really like it much on the phone either, I think it's just politer to say Miss or Mrs or just to ask the person how they would like to be addressed, rather than jumping straight to first names.
And we should be like the French, where adult women are called Madame and it has nothing to do with marital status. Mademoiselle is reserved for girls.
But nothing, nothing gets me riled as much as being addressed as 'guys' when I'm with friends, whether all female or in a mixed group. It's just wrong -- too American, too familiar, and above all unnecessary. As in ' how're you guys doing?'/can I help you guys? ' in a restaurant or bar.

We were in a posh gastropub and the server was a red-trousered, floppy-haired Hooray Henry who must have called us 'guys' at least four times. My JP friend was unamused.

Whenever (rarely) I am asked "Is that Miss or Mrs?" I respond "No."

I think it must be a generational thing as I can't realistically imagine anyone my age (28) prefer to be called "Mrs annoyed" I feel weird when they do that..I think it's just call centres and the like adapting.