to not like being called by my first name?

[bbcessex]

Went into the bank during a work break to pay a cheque in. The cashier processed the cheque, then said "Thanks for that Jane*, all done."

Bank in question has done this before, must be their protocol.

I don't like it - it seems very over familiar to me. I don't mind being called 'Mrs. Smith*', or being called nothing at all, but I don't like being called by my first name in these situations. If its designed to make me feel more loved and welcome, it has the opposite effect on me.

AIBU or just plain weird?!

• not actual name

I am snooty and old fashioned and much prefer use of my title in formal situations.

I actually prefer being called Sally as long as they don't use it too much. I really hate being called Mrs Moon. I'm not married, never have been, and I find this really annoying. Just because I'm a women of a particular age it is assumed I'm married. I get very pedantic about it and say no Mrs Moon is my mother but may I help you?

I agree over use is irritating.

I think of Hyacinth Bucket when people ask for a title.
The people you are dealing with are not beneath you.

I hate the uninvited use of my first name by people I don't know who are trying to sell me something. I realize it's all scripted and not their choice - I assume it's some kind of psychology of sales about establishing a "relationship" with the client/customer - I don't want a relationship, I just want to buy a TV, sofa etc !

I hate this way more than the Mrs/Miss/Ms - married name/maiden name thing - I just politely correct people on that one - interesting to see that so many people are more annoyed by that than matey use of first names by strangers.

I don't like it, mostly because people who actually know me call me Bath, not Bathsheba.

I work in a call centre and we have to ask the customer if they mind being called by their first name. Also, we HAVE to use the customer's preferred name AT LEAST three times during the call, otherwise we get marked down on our Quality Assurance assessments.

I love it when people try and use my first name, as it's a very unusual spelling. I'm "collecting" the weird and wonderful ways that people say my name when first confronted with it. It's quite amusing watching/hearing them struggle. Equally I'm very impressed when someone manages it first time!

I'm the opposite. I've always disliked being called Mrs/Ms X and would rather just be called by my first name. I don't really know why - perhaps because people used to sometimes mangle my surname or because it makes me feel old.

Come the day that every call centre worker calls me Ms or asks "is that Miss, Mrs or Ms" instead of "is that Miss or Mrs" I'll happily revert to titles.

And here is the problem Gin. Customer dislike it. I'm sure you dislike doing it. But some knobber in head office has decided that it is what should happen so you have to do it and the customer has to put up with it.

I would hate to be addressed as miss surname and much prefer my actual name. Miss surname reminds me of having to call a teacher by their title and surname as if they are for some reason better than me

YANBU.

I hate this too. It's 100% a part of customer relation training, not the idea of the employee, we know that.

I just want to do what i need to get done politely and efficiently without all this what's your name, what are you doing today, are you having fun yet crap. FGS. Do they think we're all daft?

This sort of thing is epitomized by the time when DH and i went to buy a sofa, and some twat sat us down, asked our names and gave us all the usual schpeel about how he was going to 'sort us out' as he ''liked us''. He then made an obviously pretend call to his manager (there was really no one on the other end of the phone) saying ''i have ''friends of mine'' here (theatrical wink at us) and i'd like to knock xyz off the price of this sofa'' - all the time grinning at us like a shark. Twat. We were just .

I wonder if it's an American thing?

Glad to see I am with the majority here. YNBU.
Maybe there is a way to reverse this horrible corporate behaviour.

DO NOT call me Hiding unless we are socially acquainted. Ms Rock is fine if you actually need to use my name, but mostly you don't, and it is patronising and distracting and STOP IT!!!

OK, I only think that, never actually said it. Mostly I just try to ignore it and get on with what I am there for.

However if it is repeated a lot I will ask their name and do the same back.
If their tone or message is also patronising I will do the same and match their tone and message. Yes that means you, Roland at CarInsuranceCompany. Grrrr.

Nah its just a twatty thing

I don't like anyone I don't know being pally with me. I don't mind general, impersonal friendliness ie people calling me love or duck, but acting as if we're acquainted is awkward; it puts me on the back foot.

That's interesting, gin.

I once phoned EE for something technical and it took a little while. I think the person who I was speaking too had a short script and it ran out before he'd finished what he was doing, so he went off piste and started telling me he was meant to be studying at university but could no longer afford to so was working for EE. We had a lovely conversation but I bet his Quality Assurance rating was shit for that call

Do you not read MN? If they dared use Mrs or Miss they should be burnt at the stake

Everyone seems to think they can use my first name. I hate that.

gin out if curiosity do many people ask to be called by their title?

When they ask ' do you mind if I call you by your first name?' I usually feel too awkward to disagree and say I mind. But then I feel annoyed that I've been coerced into agreeing

I think the question should be asked in a less leading way, ie ' do you prefer to be called by your title or first name?'!

YANBU AT ALL.

There's no reason to keep saying your name at all - it's so forced and false, but if they insist then they can call me Mrs Good as they don't have a personal relationship with me, it's a business one.

Of course, they might have all been reading MN and seen the angst that causes some people, but then you'd think the only thing to do would be to not use your name at all.

Why do some people get worked up because somebody addressed them by their first name ? It's your NAME you prissy over-sensitive twit.

The above isn't aimed at anyone in particular but I do find these situations very odd. I would rather everybody addressed me by my first name (even though it's a name I wouldn't have chosen for myself) but I still get 'Mr Vienna' from people who know me.

Funny business. How do the likes of Topol and Cher manage ?

I think her holiness cher has people nobody will be calling her Ms cher

Having said that, my department manager at work doesn't like his first name and makes it clear that he be known only by his surname in conversation (he still uses his full name for correspondence). But I stopped addressing folk by their surname when I was still at school and I can't bring myself to do it any more. So I call him 'luv' or 'boy' .

I remember a twelve year old optician calling me by my first name and then introducing himself as 'Mr Twelveyearold Optician', as if he were my primary school teacher.

I was not pleased.