to not like being called by my first name?

[bbcessex]

Went into the bank during a work break to pay a cheque in. The cashier processed the cheque, then said "Thanks for that Jane*, all done."

Bank in question has done this before, must be their protocol.

I don't like it - it seems very over familiar to me. I don't mind being called 'Mrs. Smith*', or being called nothing at all, but I don't like being called by my first name in these situations. If its designed to make me feel more loved and welcome, it has the opposite effect on me.

AIBU or just plain weird?!

• not actual name

I don't mind being referred to by my first name but agree with PPs that it's the number of times they say it that drives me mad.

I know a few people in real life that do this too, "Hi Muddle, how are you Muddle? Isn't the weather awful Muddle, I got soaked this morning I was really cold Muddle..." It's like they are trying to prove they remember my name. Although I am quite rubbish at remembering names so maybe I'm just paranoid about it.

I really can't get annoyed by things like this. It's a bit of a nothing issue.

this

Also I feel it's liberating not to have to be deferential to people when I interact with them.
I dislike titles and think names are there to be used.

I hate it but 9 time out of 10 will tolerate it as I'm sure some companies tell their employees to do this to try to engineer instant familiarity.

The one time I will not tolerate it is when I have called to make a complaint. OH sighs when I ask to speak to a manager/supervisor. He leaves the room when I say actually I'd prefer to be called Ms. Budgetbust.

Drives me up the wall

I find your attitude a bit snooty and old fashioned.

It's your name afterall

I doubt if the person calling you 'Jane' wants to do it, they are following company orders.

I also don't like it when they ask me how I am this evening. I say "fine, how about you, how are you feeling this evening?" Ffs

I agree with Pipbin, I was brought up the same way and still find it difficult to call people of the generation above me by their first name.

I avoid the issue altogether by never using a person's name if I am speaking directly to them (why would I need to anyway if I have their attention) and find it irritating if people use my name all the time.

It's a name, not a form of punctuation!

I find your attitude a bit snooty and old fashioned.

Ok, so I am snooty and old fashioned, I am willing to admit, but I hate hate hate this. Bog off with your faux-mateyness.

A woman I used to work with used to do that in emails as well. Drove me nuts.

Hi Antique
I've been giving some thought, Antique, to our discussion last week. I agree Antique, I think we should really push this forward.
Antique, could I ask you to speak to X and Y about it and find out their thoughts?

Thanks, Antique, we can discuss next week when we meet.

Annoying Nobber

I don't mean you purplefizz I mean the people who call me by my first name immediately

Also I feel it's liberating not to have to be deferential to people when I interact with them.

I couldn't disagree more.
If you walked into Harrods and the assistant called you 'mate' rather than 'madam' you'd be fine with that?

In my opinion being deferential to people is polite. As I said above it is as ingrained in me as saying please or thank you.

I agree I may be a bit snooty but I quite like a bit of deference in some instances. .. its polite, in my opinion.

I also completely understand that the person calling me by my first name is mo doubt instructed to by their firm. Doubt it's their own idea.

I don't mind if people on phone call me Alison or Ms Wunderland.
As long as they don't call me "love" which happened when i was trying to make a complaint to an eletricity supplier. Not a wise move.

I don't like it, it feels very presumptuous. I don't mind if they say Miss X, may I call you FirstName though. I have no idea why I feel this strongly, but I think my Mum probably was quite big on the Mr/Mrs thing when I was growing up!

It's even weirder if someone asks is it Miss or Mrs and you say, it's Doctor and then they keep calling you Doctor throughout the whole conversation as if they're talking to their GP

I prefer it, does away with all the "is that Miss or Mrs" rigmarole.

X-post who

Hasn't done away with it for me!

I'm the opposite. I hate it when people call me miss............. I say, it's Ilive,

I don't mind at all but will never visit a Starbucks again now they ask for you name, it's so intrusive.

It's to pally isn't it I had a call centre say hi jay how are you today ?cheeky article

In Costa they have this horrendous habit/protocol of calling customers darling, love or gorgeous.

Just hideous.

I think it's actually quite old fashioned and stuffy to expect to be called Mrs / Miss Sword.

More than happy to be considered 'old-fashioned and stuffy'.

I don't know you so don't use my first name without asking first. I've finally cured M&S of doing that to me on emails. It's rude in my view, especially as I always signed myself Mrs G. Ogg, not Gytha.

I don't mind. I feel far too old and responsible being referred to as Ms. My first name is my identity, I think using people's surnames dehumanises them to an extent. Loathe it when people call their friends by their surname... When it's smithy/wilko/dav or whatever. Ugh.

Tangent . The only thing I think is disrespectful is children calling their parents by their first name. I had a friend in secondary school that did it and still does in fact, my mum would've hit the roof as I would now if my DC did it. Don't like it. You're their parent, you're never -first name- to them.

I've always used my middle name, so I have no problem at all telling people not to call me "Lucy"when they are trying to be familiar. Because is not the name I use and it sounds weird to me.
In fact I use it as a way of fielding calls. If someone rings and asks to speak to "Lucy," I ask who is calling then if it's a rubbish call I tell them no one of that name lives here.