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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has asked me for money, what should i do

115 replies

catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 13:53

I am not working, I have around 600 to my name, friend knows i just came back from holiday paid for by my ex not me but she doesnt know that.
She has asked me for 100 quid.
I cannot spare this but she has said she is desperate, she does work i dont know what she needs it for.
I have been desperate before and I know how annoying it is when nobody borrows you the money.
Should I just give her the 100? she said she can pay me back around the 11th next month.
I have known her since school so 10 plus years now.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 13:53

sorry i know this is AIBU but its a WWYD traffic here is just high

OP posts:
WordGetsAround · 23/03/2016 13:53

I'd say no.

Beeziekn33ze · 23/03/2016 13:55

Don't even consider it without more information.

MyKingdomForBrie · 23/03/2016 13:55

I'd say you just can't. Friends and money don't mix. I'd never borrow from a friend.

LastInTheQueue · 23/03/2016 13:55

I'd say no.
It's the "she said she can pay me back around the 11th next month" which to me translates as "I may, or I may not, pay you around the 11th next month".

Just say no.

Orda1 · 23/03/2016 13:56

You own £600 and you are considering lending someone £100? Come on now, of course not. I wouldn't lend a friend £100 ever.

steff13 · 23/03/2016 13:56

I wouldn't lend it under those circumstances. You're not working, and if something else comes up, she may not be able to pay you back. $100 is a lot when you only have $600. Do you have some sort of income coming in?

FrogsSpawnofSanta · 23/03/2016 13:56

Only say yes if you can afford to lose the £100.

gamerchick · 23/03/2016 13:57

Just say no, that's all one word.

Its not your problem and certainly don't lend more than you can afford to lose.

Spandexpants007 · 23/03/2016 13:57

Just say 'I'm completely strapped for cash too and don't know how I'm going to get through this month. What's it for?'

Groovee · 23/03/2016 13:58

Just say no!

Floralnomad · 23/03/2016 13:58

Only give her as much as you can afford to not get back .

aginghippy · 23/03/2016 13:58

I wouldn't do it. You aren't working and can't spare the money.

TubbyTabby · 23/03/2016 13:58

say you're broke too and then bat it back and ask her for a loan instead.

Obliviated · 23/03/2016 13:59

I think if you lend her the money you need to be prepared to write it off.

I lent a friend around £300 over a year ago in drips and drabs, every other day she mentions that she wants to pay it back and wants to start giving me £5 or £10 here and there. I know she can't afford it though, she would end up really struggling if she tried to pay me back and I don't want that. I just told her that if she really feels she has to, to stick it in a jar at her house and save it up as emergency money. I've mentally written it off though. She's not taking the piss, she genuinely cannot afford it.

So I would probably give money to a friend who was desperate but I wouldn't expect to see it again.

legotits · 23/03/2016 14:00

What does she need it for?

If it's to feed her +kids/ pay council tax so they don't go to court fair enough I would lend a good friend 1/6th of my liquid funds.

If it's to get her roots done and a night out then nope.

Don't ever ever lend more than you can afford to lose either cash or friendship.

Original poster
catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 14:00

No i'm on ESA which she does know. Ah this has really put me in an awkward situation, I have asked to borrow like 20-30 quid from someone before but i wouldn't ask for 100.

OP posts:
Mondrian · 23/03/2016 14:00

My dad gave me a good tip on lending money to friends ..... "Only lend as much as you can afford to loose, in other words don't expect a penny back. If they returned the loan, great if not then you had already written it off anyway, besides they can never ask for another loan ever again"

If you aren't happy with writing off £100 then go for £50.

hiddenhome2 · 23/03/2016 14:02

No, do not do this. You will never see your money again. Trust me. If she was a true friend she wouldn't do this.

AlpacaLypse · 23/03/2016 14:03

I really wouldn't, not unless you're willing to give it as a gift (which would be very unwise, I'm not comfortable unless there's at least £6000 available for emergencies, not £600!).

Lending money to friends is the single most effective way of ending the friendship IMO.

Shopaholic84 · 23/03/2016 14:04

I think I'd have to say no and tell her that I wasn't working and the holiday wasn't paid for by me.

Presumably she must know you're not working? What if she doesn't pay it back by the 11th, will you be up you know what creek without a paddle? If so, I would definitely apologise but tell her you only have £600 to your name so just can't.

Quietattheback · 23/03/2016 14:06

Never lend money. If you give someone money and they give it back at some point, that's great but if you can't afford to do without the money then you need to say no.

aginghippy · 23/03/2016 14:06

She probably has not told you what it's for because it's something frivolous or dodgy and if you knew you wouldn't give her the money. As pp said, not the behaviour of a true friend.

VertigoNun · 23/03/2016 14:07

No you can't afford to lose it. Six hundred pounds is a small financial cushion.

curren · 23/03/2016 14:07

Only lend her if you can afford to lose it. If you can't, don't do it.