Friend has asked me for money, what should i do

[catladyboredlady]

I am not working, I have around 600 to my name, friend knows i just came back from holiday paid for by my ex not me but she doesnt know that.
She has asked me for 100 quid.
I cannot spare this but she has said she is desperate, she does work i dont know what she needs it for.
I have been desperate before and I know how annoying it is when nobody borrows you the money.
Should I just give her the 100? she said she can pay me back around the 11th next month.
I have known her since school so 10 plus years now.

What would you do?

Borrow - when you 'take' something from someone intending to give it back
Lend - when you give something for a temporary period

Strictly speaking, the two,are interchamgeable.

Sorry, are NOT interchangeable!

Given her reluctance to tell you what it's for and the circumstances, I'd be guessing that she's juggling payday loans or something similar.

Fair enough if you've thought of it yourself as a gift. She's a very old friend.

Just don't expect it back - and don't give her money ever again.

I think that you probably need to acknowledge to yourself that the friendship is finished, also.

It's quite common in vernacular English to use "borrow" to mean (what would be) "lend" in Standard English, and, to add to the confusion, the other way round.

Context is usually sufficient to determine the intended meaning.

Btw, I lent £300 to a friend (I could afford it). He didn't pay it back - which I didn't mind too much as he had a v low income - but what felt worse, he didn't acknowledge the debt, never said anything about it until I did. It has soured things a little.

I think it's a regional thing Pussycat.

I'm guessing the OP is a native English speaker. You don't have to hang around Internet forums long to discover that many people born and bred in the U.K. haven't had the sterling education many foreigners imagine they have.

I've heard it in both S London and NE England. (Dare I say it might be a social class/education thing) As a one-time academic theoretical linguist, English is wot people speak, innit? not something laid down by Oxford University.

Do not start something you cannot control. As soon as she gets $$ from you , she is in charge.

Do not even lend her the £50. If it's for her phone bill, she can deal with the fallout from her phone provider. You only have £600 and aren't working - you can't afford to lend any money. Don't do it.

You cannot afford this, I would say no, you cannot sorry. If she treats you badly afterwards, she is no friend.

Say no.

You do not have £100 you can spare. You have no obligation to lend it to her.

And no, not even £50.

You will never see it again. She needs to find some other mug.

Sorry for slight derail, OP.

I too would say no. You can't afford it.

My father borrowed money left right and centre from anyone who would lend him it, he never had any intention of paying it back because every time he had any money of his own, it was used for something else. As I got older it occurred to me it wasn't borrowing, it was really stealing. As a result I have never lent anyone anything I couldn't afford to lose (still cross about a fiver I lent someone at uni 30 years ago and never got back!)

You should have said no.

You are very nice to offer her £50. I hope she appreciates it.

I don't think that bills etc are a valid reason to borrow from friends. Her creditors will wait until she has the money on the 11th even if she ends up paying late fees or admin charges.

I would have asked exactly what she needs for and offered alternative help. Phone number for step change, offering help with kids etc.

Seriously? A telephone bill. Then she can crack on, call the provider and sort out a payment scheme and change her tariff. You have £600 entirely to your name and you don't work. She's is chancing it because she sees you've just had a holiday and it trying her luck. Offer her the advice of deferring payment, offer to go to CAB with her but it doesn't sound like a real reason to me unless he's too embarrassed to say what the bill is for.

You know what, regarding everyone's comments i am not going to lend it. I have been stressing about it since posting this and her asking me. I have a very bad feeling she will not give it back just from the fact she lives at home with her dad, works full time and has several friends she always goes out with so i am wondering where all these people are and why they cannot lend her the money rather than her come to her friend on benefits. I dont know why she cannot afford the bill but someone else suggested she is lying and tbh i think she may be or she would of mentioned it first and not after me asking her.

Oh well done, OP.

If she lives at home then she's not in immediate need, is she? It's not as if she'll starve without your £50. If she gets the hump with you, then she's not a good friend anyway.

I've recently lent a friend about 50 pounds because her electricity had been cut off. It's not an amount that I might need back and have given more to charity. So, I'm quite happy not to see it again, or ask for it. She has kids and has been struggling.

But not for a bloody phone bill.

I think it's a good decision in the circumstances.

Sorry, cross post.

Well done.

OP may I ask why you are on benefits? Sometimes people appear to befriend in order to take advantage of vulnerable people.

Don't overthink this. You can't afford it so the answer is no.

vertigonun I have known her since school, we are close but don't see each other often. I have mental issues which is why I am on ESA but she doesn't know about this only that I am on ESA.