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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend has asked me for money, what should i do

115 replies

catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 13:53

I am not working, I have around 600 to my name, friend knows i just came back from holiday paid for by my ex not me but she doesnt know that.
She has asked me for 100 quid.
I cannot spare this but she has said she is desperate, she does work i dont know what she needs it for.
I have been desperate before and I know how annoying it is when nobody borrows you the money.
Should I just give her the 100? she said she can pay me back around the 11th next month.
I have known her since school so 10 plus years now.

What would you do?

OP posts:
SanityClause · 23/03/2016 14:47

I love the way on MN that anyone asking for a loan immediately becomes a scrounger who will never pay the money back!

It was not unreasonable for her to ask, and not unreasonable for you to say "no", or "yes" or "not £100, but how about £20, if you're really stuck".

If you do lend her any money, just make sure she understands that money is really tight for you, too, and you really must have it back on the 11th.

Biscuitsneeded · 23/03/2016 14:48

I'd say that you are pretty skint yourself so can't lend her £100 but if she's desperate and it's for food you could probably find £25.

But of she's got no more money coming in until the 11th of next month and has nothing now I don't think even £100 is likely to help...

VertigoNun · 23/03/2016 14:50

You can't lend a sixth of your savings when in this situation.

If you had £60,000 saved would you lend £10,000 to a friend?

DrDreReturns · 23/03/2016 14:50

Friends and money don't mix
I agree with this. Don't lend her any money.

centigrade451 · 23/03/2016 15:02

I have made it a rule never to lend money to friends. However, I will give to someone in need - not lend, but give.

I once only had £1000 saved up but I gladly gave £500 to a friend to help towards her mother's funeral. I never expected it back and said that it was all I could give.

I believe in being generous with money and helping when asked but lending is different to giving.

It depends what it is for. But give her what you can and don't lend her a penny.

cozietoesie · 23/03/2016 15:05

You have absolutely no idea what it's for and she didn't volunteer the information?

serin · 23/03/2016 15:08

I would just say No, you can't afford it.

I got asked for £1000 by a friend here, (for car repairs) didn't even know her that well! I said no but another friend lent it to her and she was never repaid.

On the other hand I will happily slip £20 to a homeless person and we have regular direct debits to charities, so I am not completely heartless.

scarednoob · 23/03/2016 15:10

If she can pay it back by 11, can't she use wonga or similar? Yes the apr is sky high and it's a bad pattern to get into - but as a one off on £100 over 2 weeks or so, the interest won't be much.

Original poster
catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 15:10

she has just messaged me saying...
I just need £100
really i need about £130 but i can do with £100 and will defiantly pay it back.
I have told her i will give her £50 I'm not working and cannot afford it.
We will see what happens I hope she doesn't prove everyone right

OP posts:
madwomanbackintheattic · 23/03/2016 15:15

Mug

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 23/03/2016 15:17

I'd not lend it, OR if you do, lend it to her but only with putting something in writing stating how much has been lent and the date it has to be paid back, that you both sign to make clear that it is a loan and expect it paying back.

Original poster
catladyboredlady · 23/03/2016 15:18

I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, I haven't borrowed anyone money before so this will either be a lesson learned or not and she said she needed it for her phone bill.

OP posts:
aginghippy · 23/03/2016 15:19

So she still won't say what it's for? Hmm

VertigoNun · 23/03/2016 15:19

Have you agreed terms for her to repay?

228agreenend · 23/03/2016 15:19

Sounds like she's got herself into debt and needs the money to pay the bailiffs /debt collectors. (Maybe totally wrong, of course).

hiddenhome2 · 23/03/2016 15:20

Phone bill? Hmm

She's lying.

EthelMercaptan · 23/03/2016 15:20

What KeemaNaan said.

Keema, have you been watching Judge Rinder too? Grin

aginghippy · 23/03/2016 15:21

Cross posts. Her phone bill is £130? Hmm
Mine is that much for 5 months.

228agreenend · 23/03/2016 15:23

Sorry, just read the phone bil comment. She should phone the phone company, and ask for a deferral. Most big business off this. (£130 for a phone bill - that's a lot if it's only a monthly bill!)

steff13 · 23/03/2016 15:23

As an aside - is it common in the UK to use borrow and lend interchangeably? I've never heard it in the US.

228agreenend · 23/03/2016 15:24

... Offer this

Lynnm63 · 23/03/2016 15:24

Phone bill is a regular bill it's not like she had to replace a tyre on her car or she can't get to work. Definitely get it in writing that it's a loan repayable on x date otherwise you've zero chance of getting it back.

thatsn0tmyname · 23/03/2016 15:25

Never a borrower nor a lender be.

Lynnm63 · 23/03/2016 15:25

No Steff I lend you, you borrow. The words aren't interchangeable.

aginghippy · 23/03/2016 15:25

No not common steff. I'm guessing the OP is not a native English speaker.