AIBU to ask for her to pay?

[Skala123]

I have a friend with the same age DD as my DS. We are close friends. We occasionally help each other out by having the kids.
Recently she asked me to have her DD and on that day I had planned to take DS for a day out to a place with a pretty hefty entrance fee. I said of course I'd have her but could I have the entrance money and a packed lunch. I have been absolutely vilified! Who is being U?

I wonder if she knew you were taking ds somewhere...

'She denied it and said I must have offered it'

She has a cheek. I'd dump her. 'That's a pity. I can't afford to cover her entry fee and we already had plans to go to X. I'm afraid you'll need to make other arrangements.'

And then drop.

I think asking for a packed lunch is a bit anal personally...

I would have asked for the entrance fee though

Why don't you answer people's questions properly??

"I think it's best if I don't take your daughter with us to X, but happy to have her another day when we're just going to be at home."

She's a cheeky cow. I wouldn't ever have her child as a favour again.

At what point did the other mum know about the day trip?

When she asked I said yes I'd have her but we were going to x place and it was x amount (over £10) and I was taking a packed lunch so did she want to do the same

Sorry for drip feeding, have a houseful of kids and not much time to type!

And then how did she vilify you?

To another friend and to my face

Moaning on about you behind your back is horrible.

Well, going by your update I think you were totally above board and reasonable and she's a mare.

My friend invited my son skiing for the day recently. I would never have expected her to pay the $55 ticket - I sent him with the money and a packed lunch and some extra money for snacks. YANBU.

'Oh, it's a pity, but I can't afford the entry fees for both. You'll need to make other arrangements. ' Then dump.

That's my point - I would always offer and if someone asked me then I'd pay up no questions asked and be grateful for the help!

Assuming it's not much more than £10 (and YABU for not giving us the precise figure) I'd veer towards YABU. It's not much money and I'd be too embarrassed to mention it unless without it I couldn't feed the family.

£10 is cheap childcare! Yanbu

£20 cheaper than emergency childcare, IME. I'd send lunch, too, because I know what mine like to eat, plus treats for the other child.

Hardly drip feeding!

So she wanted free childcare and kicking off because you are refusing to subsidise her?

Well at least you know that she isnt your friend!

YANBU

I think over £10 is expensive enough when you factor in costs for your ds and yourself and any others!

She has a nerve not coughing up in the first place and then bad mouthing you to a third party. Definitely do not take her dd again!

Collaborate, it's not much money if you have money, maybe OP doesn't have an extra tenner lying around. Maybe OP has had to save or cut back to take her DS on this trip

'It's not much money and I'd be too embarrassed to mention it unless without it I couldn't feed the family.'

It isn't? It's a lot of money to many people, not necessarily meaning that they cannot feed their family without it but may mean the difference between going into their overdraft that month/not being able to pay into savings/pay for lessons/pay a minimum payment, etc. She said it was over £10.