To not walk the dog every day?

[StuRedman]

Just had a horrible row with DH and dd (12) because I asked her to take the dog for a walk and she refused, DH kicked off a bit about getting rid of her because she doesn't get a daily walk and he never wanted a dog anyway. He never walks her, although sometimes comes with me or dd when we do. They have now both gone out with her, although she would have gone alone.

She is a miniature breed, a chihuahua cross, she's tiny (2kg) and I walk her maybe four days out of seven but not every day. I have severe depression and often can't face getting dressed let alone taking the dog out. We have a large garden that she spends a lot of time in. She's a happy little thing and mostly sleeps on me all day with a few bursts of playing outside, with me with her rope toys, or with a kong. Imo she is fine with the amount of exercise she gets but dh can get very fixed on rules and in his mind you walk a dog every day.

I love her, we've had her since she was a puppy (she's 15months now) and dh saying he would put an ad in the paper has broken me. I know he won't, it was just a rare loss of temper, but the whole exchange has really upset me.

What do you think? Am I a terrible dog owner? Would she be better off elsewhere? I can make more of an effort to take her out, and will, but I just wanted to find out if anyone else has a happy dog that doesn't get a daily walk or if I'm deluded.

Dogs should be walked twice a day regardless of size unless they have health issues. Once a day is minimum. The only time I didn't was when I had norovirus and couldn't leave the bathroom and that was only the first day. The second day I dragged myself down the cycle track in my pjs for ten minutes because it was better than nothing. I have also gotten up at 4 in the morning to walk her when I've had to be at work at 6.30. Depression seems to run in our family so I know how it can hit you but the fact is if you can't give her the exercise a young dog needs and your daughter isn't willing to help out then your DH is right, she will have to be rehomed. Can't be any fun for her can it? Imagine never leaving home. Being stuck in the same house and garden all the time and only going out 3 or 4 days a week for half hour at a time. Chihuahuas are intelligent and need new experiences and mental stimulation or they end up hyper, neurotic little sods. I don't mean to sound harsh but you are doing her no favours at all. I agree with your DH sorry.

Virginia and Alexa, have you read and understood what the OP is saying? She's alert to signs of distress or unhappiness from her dog and is satisfied that there are none.

She also makes clear that her DH's comment about rehoming the dog was off the cuff and not genuine: We are categorically NOT rehoming her. It's not even up for discussion. Dh was just venting at Dd (and me), so Alexa your comment your DH is right, she will have to be rehomed is senseless.

And you ARE being harsh, whether you mean to or not. Although I actually think you know full well you are. Lines with the tone of, for example, 'Can't be any fun for her can it?' are harsh and uncalled for.

Could you ask on Facebook to see if anyone in your local area walks thrit dogs during the day on Tuesday or Thursday and would be interested in walking with you. It might be a bonus for them, for example a woman concerned about walking alone in a particular location or an elderly person who doesn't get out often but just fancies a walk, and would mean that you have an incentive to up up and out at x time with DD2 in the buggy ready to go.

I've worked in animal shelters and the vast majority of small dogs are handed over due to a decline in behaviour. The most common reason is lack of exercise or boundaries. So I'm sorry if it sounds a bit harsh but they all seem fine until they start tearing the house apart out of boredom and it is endlessly frustrating to see it day after day when it could have been prevented by simple daily walks.

But the OPs dog isn't tearing the house apart. And I'd bet that most dogs in rescue would think they'd died and gone to heaven if they had the same sort of life rather than being in kennels.

She needs to be walked every day. If not by you (and I know how hard it can be), your DD, or a (perhaps paid) dog walker. If DH has nothing to do with the dog, it's not his decision to make. It's your dog, and your responsibility.

Rehoming isn't an option, but neither is keeping a dog without committing to a daily walk.

But the OPs dog isn't tearing the house apart.

Yes, exactly.

Ops dog is only one. I give it till adolescence hits. It is literally all we hear. "Oh we've never walked him that often and he has always been fine. Its so sudden. " most of the time it isn't sudden, its been a gradual decline for years. And let me tell you it's a damn site harder to untrain a behaviour than to prevent it in the first place. If you ask on a public forum aibu then you sort of have to be prepared to be told you are. You want people's opinions and experience, you can't really complain when they give it especially when it isn't even your question.

If Op's dog does start tearing the house apart I'd trust her to re-evaluate...

To be fair this debate is rather pointless now since the OP has decided to ask her DD to walk the dog every Monday and decided to do her best to walk it herself every day for the rest of the week.

If Op's dog does start tearing the house apart I'd trust her to re-evaluate...

Yes, me too. But for now, I find your doom-saying a bit overbearing, Alexa.

Plus, it's not the case that the dog isn't walked that often; she gets a walk most days, and when she doesn't she gets play and stimulation in the house and garden. She quite possibly gets more of this than some of the cases you see.

Well it's a moot point because op has sorted it but tell you what? You spend a few weeks doing that job and sorting out dogs that people couldnt be bothered with, then you can judge my attitude.

Alexa that's not very fair. It's not like the OP couldn't be bothered. She's not well.

Alexa, the OP has an illness that means she has days when she's unable to leave the house. That's hardly 'not being bothered'. I don't need to do your job to feel pretty able to judge your attitude about that.

Yes alexa I got a dog at 18 months. He'd never been walked and was highly active and intelligent. He had been beaten and had socialisation issues, which I tackled and took several years to resolve. He needed to tear around and get stimulation being a collie Alsatian cross. He's gone to the rainbow bridge now. On the odd occasion When inhave not taken my much less active cockapoo out because I can't walk far due to illness, he tears around with the ball and I throw it a few times for him. Not ideal. We all do what we can. Op sounds as though she is aware of the situation. Please stop judging her. She's asking for support and ways to ameliorate the situation because she loves her doggy to pieces..

I stand by my opinion. If you are unable to properly care for an animal and the rest of the family is unwilling you should do what is best for the animal. Be that a dog walker or rehoming.

Don't judge? People come in here for the sole purpose of asking to be judged ffs. Anyway I'm considering this a dead thread as there is no longer anything to actually debate. Its resolved. We will just have to agree to disagree.

I find 'are unable to properly care for an animal' hyperbolic. The dog is walked more often than not, and when not she is exercised, played with and generally stimulated. The OP seems alert to the dog's temperament and individual disposition and behaviour.

And I never said 'don't judge'; in fact I explicitly said I DO judge YOU, for failing (perhaps deliberately, I don't know) to recognise that it's not the case that the OP 'can't be bothered' to walk the dog sometimes; a comment that is unfair and which you have not acknowledged.

I agree, OnlyLovers

The little dog clearly has a loving home, a garden to run around with, loving owners to play with and cuddle and several walks a week. It's absolutely absurd and bordering on fanatical to say that it is improperly cared for or should be rehomed.

I give many thousands each year to anti-abuse animal charities, have two rescue dogs myself and was raised to nurture and respect all animals including wildlife, insects, birds etc. - am pretty rabid on the subject of animal mistreatment and believe me OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you care for your little dog.

More walks would always be ideal, same at my household, but the animals have a pretty good life indeed. Don't let the extreme fringe opinions make you feel bad.

I don't walk my dog every day.

People can be really ignorant to other people's illnesses and disabilities. It's something I find with my daughter who has a severe disability. People who have no experience can be guilty of thinking everything is as black and white in your world as it is in theirs.

Alex you are being utterly ridiculous and melodramatic - the OP walks her dog 4 times a week and plays with it in the garden the other days. The dog is loved and happy and has constant company and is properly fed and comfortably housed.

She is not "unable to properly care for an animal", and if she is 3/4 of the dogs in Britain probably need "rehoming" - which you imply means they will be better off, but it doesn't does it? Lots of them will spend extended periods in kennel style rescue centres and be considerably worse off than the OP's dog, and dogs that are re-homed often have all sorts of separation anxiety issues due to being removed from one home, placed in a kennel rescue or even a foster home with other dogs, then moved on again to another home - which for all the home checks in the world might not actually work out any better than the original one, one way or the other.

And if you are removing every dog in Britian that isn't walked daily there are not enough "better" rescue homes waiting by a very, very long chalk.

The OP's dog is fine unless you live in "this is an ideal world with only a tiny number of not 100% perfect dog owners people" cloud cuckoo land.

Frankly I see a lot of people "taking their dog for a walk" and it really stretches the definition of a walk. They stand at the edge of local field, on their phones, whilst dog romps for max 10 minutes and then they're back in the car.

I think OP does much more than this, plus plays with dog in the garden.

12-year-olds - grrrrrr. I have one of those and although she adores dog there is extreme moaning and whining when he needs a walk. In fact how often do you ever see a teenager walking a dog? Even at weekends I only ever see the mums plodding around the neighbourhood.

I followed some young teens walking a retriever in the park the other day - they didn't pick up any of the dog poo...

Sorry I'm really confused about Alexas comment. I didn't realise people came on here to be judged. I thought the majority wanted opinions and advice from a wider community. I'm new here and I'm really shocked by some of the snotty comments I've come across so far.

Janecc Welcome to MN
Actually AIBU is particularly bad, people are generally more supportive and less critical on other boards. (Conception is particularly supportive IME, and Relationships is usually good too.) So just avoid AIBU and you should be ok!