To not walk the dog every day?

[StuRedman]

Just had a horrible row with DH and dd (12) because I asked her to take the dog for a walk and she refused, DH kicked off a bit about getting rid of her because she doesn't get a daily walk and he never wanted a dog anyway. He never walks her, although sometimes comes with me or dd when we do. They have now both gone out with her, although she would have gone alone.

She is a miniature breed, a chihuahua cross, she's tiny (2kg) and I walk her maybe four days out of seven but not every day. I have severe depression and often can't face getting dressed let alone taking the dog out. We have a large garden that she spends a lot of time in. She's a happy little thing and mostly sleeps on me all day with a few bursts of playing outside, with me with her rope toys, or with a kong. Imo she is fine with the amount of exercise she gets but dh can get very fixed on rules and in his mind you walk a dog every day.

I love her, we've had her since she was a puppy (she's 15months now) and dh saying he would put an ad in the paper has broken me. I know he won't, it was just a rare loss of temper, but the whole exchange has really upset me.

What do you think? Am I a terrible dog owner? Would she be better off elsewhere? I can make more of an effort to take her out, and will, but I just wanted to find out if anyone else has a happy dog that doesn't get a daily walk or if I'm deluded.

[ThatsNotMyRabbit]

What Mrs D said.

A walk 4 days out of 7 is fine, esp with a diddy dog and a big garden.

What they need as much as physical exercise is mental stimulation.

Maybe look into interactive toys, food toys and games like search/find. Maybe teach her some tricks.

Games like sprinkles where tiny bits of intensely smelly food are sprinkled on a designated area. Or scatter her dinner (if kibble) around the garden for her to find.

[bakeoffcake]

This dog is far better off than hundreds of thousands around the country.

It's walked 4 days out if 7 and has company at home all day, every day.

Other dogs may get walked everyday but they are left on their own for 8 hours 5 day a week.


Have some perspective!

[RapunzelStyle]

Sorry, I thought this was AIBU on Mumsnet...woman up, all!

Wanders off muttering darkly about Nethuns.

[NeedACleverNN]

Oh no she did not just call me a nethun!!

[Owllady]

[Janecc]

Anet Hun is that like a relation of Atilla the Hun?

[PuckyMup]

As someone else said - getting out for short walks is better than no walks, and going out twice a day for 10m or so can be much easier to manage then going out for one longer walk

[mmmm67]

I have been a dog owner of various breeds for most of my life. I would have agreed previously with all the owners saying that is wrong not to give a daily walk. Only now I have 2 toy dogs.

One of the dogs loves walking and gets taking out a lot. The other only likes walking in warm weather - otherwise she just gets miserable and shivers (even in a coat) and drags her feet. I now leave her at home when the weather is cold. She is 5 years' old and is perfectly healthy. She plays in the house with the other dog and the children.

I think the idea that it is better to rehome a tiny dog because it is not getting a daily walk is completely mad.

Yes, a german shepherd, border collie, spaniel etc because they would go completely loopy but a dog which is displaying no behavioural issues by missing out on a daily walk, and is not obese or physically suffering....

[ElementaryMyDear]

Something not right about a child who doesn't care about an animal

ODFOD, Rapunzel. Where the hell do you get off diagnosing over the internet that there's something wrong with a child you know nothing about?

It's not the child's dog, there isn't actually any suggestion that she doesn't care about it, but caring about it doesn't automatically mean taking responsibility for walking it. I refuse to take any responsibility for cleaning out my DD's lizard tank or basically having anything at all to do with it, that doesn't mean that I don't care about the lizard and that there's something "not right" with me.

[neonrainbow]

Janecc

[neonrainbow]

Yeah i thought rapunzels comment about the ops daughter was bloody horrible. I loved our family dogsto pieces but that didn't mean as a child i wanted to be solely responsible for walking them. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with ops daughter because she objected to walking the dog once!

[Abecedario]

I think the dog needs to be walked every day, mine is a toy breed (cavalier) but he won't settle for anything less than 2-3 walks a day totalling at least an hour. Mind you I don't have much of a garden. Mine is happy to sleep the entire test of the day, but he has to have those walks or else he would make a very vocal fuss!

On the other hand I also know what depression is like. For me, having to get out with the dog, even when I really didn't want to so much as stand up, has always been a blessing. But you shouldn't beat yourself up either, or be threatened with having the dog taken away, as ultimately that's just going to feed the depression and feelings of being overwhelmed.

It sounds silly but I have a diary I put everything I'm going to do that day in, and when my mental health gets bad that may include things as seemingly small as 'have a shower' and 'walk dog'. Having that structure has really helped on those days, it ensures I do the 'minimums' I need to ensure that I, DP and the dog I love to pieces are cared for, and ticking things off, even really small things, help improve self esteem. (This is all on the days I don't work, the days I'm in work seem to take care of themselves somehow!)

I think it's fair enough to sit down with your daughter, talk about the dog and attendant responsibilities, and agree a number of walks a week where it will be her job, then you have the weekends where you all go together, and then you commit to doing the other days.

I also think you might be surprised to find how many people would enjoy borrowing the dog for a walk or two. My pup is lucky to have a number of admirers that like to book in with him now and then - e.g. A friend who has shared custody of her children and looks for cheap ways to entertain them on her weekends with them - she doesn't want to commit to a pet full time but she loves to borrow mine as she loves him and the kids do too. My neighbour occasionally offers again as it is something her little one likes to do. My sister sometimes wants to just go for a walk and clear her head and will occasionally request my dog's company whilst she does so.

There is also a website called borrow my doggy where people who cannot have a dog full time but still want their company occasionally can contact you and potentially arrange to take your dog out for walks as and when suits all involved. I've not used it but friends have, both dog owners and borrowers. Most people seem to want to borrow at the weekend though, and it would depend how ok you were with letting your dog go off with someone you didn't know personally.

[Mrscaindingle]

Tbh I am less concerned about the dog than I am about Stu as it doesn't sound like the dog is missing out too much but a daily walk is one of the best treatments for depression.

[Peppassista]

There's plenty of evidence that walking can help to alleviate depression - so can having a pet to love.
I know it's really hard to get up some days, when you are depressed, but it's a no -brainer really! If you walk the dog it'll be good for the dog (who has no say in this), good for you, and probably good for family relations.
Good luck :-)

[ThatsNotMyRabbit]

This isn't a BC or Husky being confined, alone, with no stimulation for hours a day.

Feral dogs left to their own devices don't spend their time endlessly on the move. Mostly they do as little as possible in between brief bursts of activity. Much like the pipsqueak in the OP by the sounds of it.

[StuRedman]

to everyone for all your posts, it's been really helpful to hear all the viewpoints (well, maybe not all, there's nothing wrong with Dd other than being a truculent pre teen).

[Schwabischeweihnachtskanne]

Some dog owners like to hold everyone to ideal standards, but the fact is the OP's dog is certainly better off in a loving home with company, walked 4 times a week and being played with in the garden with toys on the days she is not walked, than she would be in a concrete pen in a rescue in between two daily walks, if the OP decided to "rehome" her by handing her by giving her up to a shelter. If the OP found her a new home privately there would be no way to know for certain whether she was actually going to be better or worse off... She might end up walked twice daily but home alone 10 hours a day between those walks... or she might be rehomed to somebody with good intentions who ended up rarely walking her at all and not playing with her either.

The people who are shouting at the OP to rehome might well be damning the dog to an extended period in a rescue and / or a very uncertain future. The dog is very likely to be better off with the OP.

[Whitney168]

My much larger dogs are walked three or four times a day, and have the run of a big garden - I very much agree that walks are important for a dog's mental health as well as physical BUT from your description it sounds as if you have a tiny dog who has company and access to space to play, so no I absolutely don't think what you describe is the end of the world. Be kind to yourself.

As other posters have said, it will do you the world of good to go out and get fresh air and a bit of exercise though, so keep her happy playing at home and take her out as often as you possibly can to try and improve your own health - happy all round.

[mmmm67]

It is a bit of a chicken and egg, exercise being the best cure for depression.

Absolutely true, but if you can't motivate yourself to do it because you are depressed...

[SaucyJack]

I'm sure your dog will be fine, but I do think it will do you good to take him out every day- even if it's just because that it's one less thing to guilt yourself over. Just get out and get it over with, and the. You can relax with a clear conscience.

This might sound daft as I don't know how your depression affects you, but have you considered having a designated dog walking jumper and jeans and keeping them together in a draw in your room so that trying to work out what to wear and where to find it is one less task?

[SaucyJack]

*drawer!