To not walk the dog every day?

[StuRedman]

Just had a horrible row with DH and dd (12) because I asked her to take the dog for a walk and she refused, DH kicked off a bit about getting rid of her because she doesn't get a daily walk and he never wanted a dog anyway. He never walks her, although sometimes comes with me or dd when we do. They have now both gone out with her, although she would have gone alone.

She is a miniature breed, a chihuahua cross, she's tiny (2kg) and I walk her maybe four days out of seven but not every day. I have severe depression and often can't face getting dressed let alone taking the dog out. We have a large garden that she spends a lot of time in. She's a happy little thing and mostly sleeps on me all day with a few bursts of playing outside, with me with her rope toys, or with a kong. Imo she is fine with the amount of exercise she gets but dh can get very fixed on rules and in his mind you walk a dog every day.

I love her, we've had her since she was a puppy (she's 15months now) and dh saying he would put an ad in the paper has broken me. I know he won't, it was just a rare loss of temper, but the whole exchange has really upset me.

What do you think? Am I a terrible dog owner? Would she be better off elsewhere? I can make more of an effort to take her out, and will, but I just wanted to find out if anyone else has a happy dog that doesn't get a daily walk or if I'm deluded.

[NeedACleverNN]

If you are local to me I would love to come and walk your dog.

I desperately miss having dogs but not got the finances for one yet

[TheWitTank]

Don't feel guilty -you are certainly not a terrible dog owner. It's perhaps wasn't the best decision to get a dog when the whole family were not in agreement, but it's done now and it sounds like you love the dog and want the best for it. As others have said, even if you can manage a quick 20 minutes a day, that would be fantastic. You have acknowledged that hee behaviour is better when she is walked, so it obviously is something the dog needs. Do you find it hard to be around people? Is this one of the reasons you avoid the walks (my friend has this issue with her depression)? Could you do an early morning or late evening if so? Or have you got any friends who could go with you for support?

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

hold the phone!!
Theres such thing as bacon flavoured bubbles?!

What a time to be alive

[StuRedman]

Dh really isn't cruel or anything else, it was a horrible row with me and dd and he stepped in and said we'd have to put an ad in the paper and get rid of her if no one walked her. He was saying it to dd but really she's my responsibility so it applies to me. Dh is lovely and puts up with a huge heap of shit from me.

[TheWitTank]

www.amazon.co.uk/Bacon-Bubbles-For-Dogs-150ml/dp/B00I0TTRMK?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Bacon bubbles! ^
My two go insane for them!

[Wolfiefan]

OP if you aren't well enough to walk every day then you can't. Sorry. Anyone who says "getting out in the fresh air will really help" has no idea just how debilitating MH issues can be.
How about The Cinnamon Trust? They might provide a volunteer to walk your dog (as well as the walks you do!) it's free!

[BennyTheBall]

I don't think you're a terrible dog owner but I do think the dog should have a walk everyday.

It would be good for you too, if you could force yourself out every day.

We have a really big garden and our dog is in and out all day - but it is not a substitute for a proper walk.

[MrTiddlestheFatCat]

Have you looked at borrowmydoggy.com? I think you pay a small sign up fee and then you can contact people who want to walk your dog! It's cheaper than having a dog walker as you don't pay them, they're just doing it for the pleasure of spending time with your dog.

It would mean that you would have to have somebody come into your house to collect her, and I know the effort of having to talk to someone, especially small talk, can be horrible when you're not 100%.

I really don't think you should beat yourself up about it. She has a loving home, lots of attention, and lots of playtime- there really isn't too much to feel guilty about.

[TubbyTabby]

dogs need to be walked every single day.
maybe it would be better for everyone, including the dog, if you re-homed the dog.

[NameChange30]

"Anyone who says "getting out in the fresh air will really help" has no idea just how debilitating MH issues can be."

Actually I do know how debilitating they can be. I realise that on the worst days getting outside feels impossible. However if OP is on meds and getting counselling and professional support, there is no reason she can't begin to recover - and actually going for a walk does help at that stage.

[neonrainbow]

We had dogs growing up and never walked them twice a day. Once a day for 30 minutes with a longer walk at weekends. It's not as if you've got a husky op. As long as they get a decent quality walk once a day the odd missed day isn't going to hurt but sounds like you and dd could do more. Dh shouldn't have to, he made it clear he didn't want a dog.

[MrTiddlestheFatCat]

I disagree tubby.

Some dogs do just fine with lots of garden exercise, toys to play with, and a walk every other or every few days for some extra stimulation. If she's happy and healthy, there is no reason to re home her from a perfectly loving home already.

[Gabilan]

Having a furry little companion has been really good for me, but I need to exercise her more or it's not fair

OP try not to beat yourself up on the days when you don't walk her. Instead, when you get her back from a walk, give yourself a Yay Me pat on the back. Sounds daft but it can help. Then, next time you don't feel like walking her, remember how satisfying it is and that nice feeling when you get back and think "yay, I did it."

[OnlyLovers]

I think your DH is being a bit of a tit and over-dramatic. Talking to your DD but meaning it for you isn't very constructive.

I don't have a dog so am prepared to be shouted down, but yours sounds like she's happy and healthy with the walks she gets currently.

In any case I think the suggestion of rehoming her is very drastic, and if she helps with your illness then it might be counterproductive.

Do look at borrowmydoggy.com if you're very concerned, though.

[Twowrongsdontmakearight]

I'm another that agrees that you're not a terrible dog-owner. But one of the reasons we got a dog would be that we would then have to go out for a couple of walks a day.

Sometimes I really don't feel like it (and nor does DDog!) but once we're out we really enjoy it. It really is better for your dog to get a couple of walks a day. They don't have to be massive, maybe just 20 mins round the block. You might find that you feel better for it too.

[FreeSpirit89]

Yabu - walking is a huge part in good dog Maintenance. If your unwilling to do it, you should never have got one

[MrTiddlestheFatCat]

It's not like OP NEVER walks the dog. Or has said she can't be bothered to do anything with her, or won't buy her toys, or won't let her play in the garden.

If the dog is happy and healthy, then no problem with four walks a week. If she's obese or showing signs of distress or unhappiness, then I would say something different.

[Owllady]

Op, I think you are depressed and blaming yourself and feeling guilty for stuff whilst doing your best. I think as long as you have a big garden and are walking every other day, that is ok for now :) be kinder to yourself. Concentrate on getting yourself well, you sound like you are making good progress, do stick with it :)

[LeaLeander]

As mentioned my Chihuahua never has been walked each day. Last fall I took the more outgoing one to an eight-week pre-agility training class and he did well - he was the only dog in the class who had never had basic obedience lessons - all the other dogs had at least two courses of obedience and training behind them.

My little guy held his own with the others in learning and obeying commands and flew over hurdles that other dogs three-five times his size balked at. (Everyone screamed out in amazement the first time.) So clearly neither his socialization nor athletic ability are compromised by getting most of his workouts in the garden.

As mentioned I think it's great when dogs can be walked every day and aspire to that myself but it's hardly doom for the animal if this cannot be managed. No need to make the OP feel worse than she already does.

[Owllady]

That's exactly what I thought mrtiddles :)

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

I do think the dog needs daily walks. As well as exercise it's also good socialisation for her to regularly meet other dogs and humans outside her own family.

And having had depression and anxiety most of my life including bouts where I could barely get out of bed, having to take the dog out is a reason to get up and dressed and go out. Look at it as being essential for both of you.

Tbh if you railroaded him into getting a dog he didn't want, you need to take on the full responsibility with her, apart from getting DD to help.

[NameChange30]

"Tbh if you railroaded him into getting a dog he didn't want, you need to take on the full responsibility with her, apart from getting DD to help."
Surely it's double standards to expect DD to help and not DH. Was DD consulted about getting a dog? Did she agree to help out with walking it? If so, yes she should help, but if not, she is no more responsible than DH. However, I think as a good husband and daughter it would be nice of them to help the OP while she is unwell by walking the dog occasionally - either on their own or with the OP to keep her company.

[Wordsaremything]

Of course dogs need walking every day!
Sorry but just

[Owllady]

We rarely see dogs or people on our walks

[Wolfiefan]

Another Emma. Yes getting outside and exercise can help as part of a process of recovery. At the deepest and darkest parts of depression it may well NOT be possible.
Need a clever NN join the Cinnamon Trust! Help keep an owner and their beloved pet together. No vet fees, food costs, kennels or sitter for holiday. Just walking. As often or infrequently as you want!