To not walk the dog every day?

[StuRedman]

Just had a horrible row with DH and dd (12) because I asked her to take the dog for a walk and she refused, DH kicked off a bit about getting rid of her because she doesn't get a daily walk and he never wanted a dog anyway. He never walks her, although sometimes comes with me or dd when we do. They have now both gone out with her, although she would have gone alone.

She is a miniature breed, a chihuahua cross, she's tiny (2kg) and I walk her maybe four days out of seven but not every day. I have severe depression and often can't face getting dressed let alone taking the dog out. We have a large garden that she spends a lot of time in. She's a happy little thing and mostly sleeps on me all day with a few bursts of playing outside, with me with her rope toys, or with a kong. Imo she is fine with the amount of exercise she gets but dh can get very fixed on rules and in his mind you walk a dog every day.

I love her, we've had her since she was a puppy (she's 15months now) and dh saying he would put an ad in the paper has broken me. I know he won't, it was just a rare loss of temper, but the whole exchange has really upset me.

What do you think? Am I a terrible dog owner? Would she be better off elsewhere? I can make more of an effort to take her out, and will, but I just wanted to find out if anyone else has a happy dog that doesn't get a daily walk or if I'm deluded.

[dontbreathesomedays]

Well, possibly, but given we don't have a time machine is it reasonable to suddenly insist the partner who didn't want the dog, and agreed to it only on the condition they didn't have to walk it, is suddenly expected to walk it?

I'd say no, myself.

[LifeofI]

You have a garden so i dont see the big deal

[dontbreathesomedays]

I'm sorry but it is a big deal. A garden is not a walk substitute and it shouldn't be treated as such.

[DragonMamma]

I agree that your dog needs to be walked more. We have a smallish breed (not as small as yours) and he gets walked twice a day for 30/45mins each time, sometimes less if it's raining.

At the weekend his walks tend to be at least an hour each or we take him to the beach for a few hours.

I feel incredibly guilty if he doesn't get walked twice a day and as pp's have said, it's not good to be cooped up all day, every day. I would even say that 30-45mins, when you do go out is on the short side, even for a small breed.

[Gabilan]

OP how long have you been depressed for? I think if your illness is likely to be very long term and affect the dog for the rest of its natural life then on balance you might want to think about rehoming it. But, I would also think about how that might affect your MH. I would imagine having a happy little dog around is good for you.

Can you do things to make the garden more stimulating for her? People with indoor cats make their homes cat friendly though they'd be better off leaving cardboard boxes lying around Are there things you can do at home? Could you do some agility training with her, just for fun, at home. She'd get exercise and mental stimulation and you'd have something to work towards.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

A garden is not a walk substitute and it shouldn't be treated as such. I agree but if someone is ill, would a long game of catch do?

I know a family who didn't walk their collie (dreadful) and my Mum started doing it. Because people pitch in, don't they?

OP, anyone in the neighborhood who is a dog lover who would like to help?

[Pinkheart5915]

I'd say because it's a small dog and you have a large garden it's ok not going for a walk now and then. But you should aim for about 5-6 days of walks a week.

I have a husky and he has to go far every day or he is bored and sulky, but I love walking him with baby ds.

[Costacoffeeplease]

You need to walk her every day - it sounds like it was a massive mistake to get her, everyone in the house has to be fully on board with getting a dog, they're a massive commitment. However, we are where we are and the deal was that you would walk her and he would have no responsibility for her, so you need to walk her

I know you aren't feeling well, but you sound a bit like a teenager who really really wants a dog, then loses interest when it becomes a slog

[TheWitTank]

A garden isn't a suitable replacement for a walk.
OP, if you have the odd day where you really can't get out, have you got dog toys that you can use in the garden for games like hide and seek, fetch etc? You can get bacon flavoured bubbles that you put in a bubble machine that are great for jumping/running/interest. Sit/lay training, tricks etc. They are intelligent little dogs that pick up easily. Can you employ a dog walker/local teen to take the dog out a few times a week for you?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You can get bacon flavoured bubbles that you put in a bubble machine that are great for jumping/running/interest. Why did I not know this when DD was a toddler?

[toolonglurking]

We got a puppy 6 months ago and I would feel awful of she didn't get walked everyday. It was one of the major considerations before we got her. I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and until this week have walked her up to 3 times a day (small walks so as not to damage her joints while she's young). My partner takes equal responsibility, and I think we'd both feel awful and horrified with ourselves if we didn't walk her everyday. It's the main thing about owning a dog over any other animal that they are walked daily, perhaps the routine of a proper walk everyday might help you feel a bit more energetic? I struggled with depression for about 10 years, and have found having my new hairy friend relying on me has made me feel much more energetic and enthusiastic about life.

[georgedawes]

I think dogs really do need at least one walk a day, although occasionally missing one due to illness is fine. If your dog is nippy it does sound as if she's bored. It's easy to think because you have a small dog they don't need much exercise but it's really not the case, the small dogs I know have much more stamina than my big lazy dog! Don't excuse bad behaviour because your dog is small, it'll get harder to correct the older she gets, and a daily walk could potentially solve your problems straight away.

If you're too unwell to walk her, would you consider a dog walker?

[StuRedman]

We couldn't afford a dog walker and I know dh would hate the idea. I just have to up my game a bit.

I feel really guilty.

[cranberryx]

I walk my two dogs every day. They are both 30kgs and would tear my house apart due to boredom if I didn't. I think even a walk around the block is better than nothing, 20 minutes twice a day for a small breed like yours would make a world of difference.

I wouldn't get rid of your dog just yet, your DH is being a bit horrible to suggest such a thing. 4/7 days a week, and a loving home is a good place to be.

[BeachysFlipFlops]

Do you have friends who will walk with you? It's great to walk with a friend, have a natter and catch up and the dog gets exercised as well. Or walk to a friends?

[StuRedman]

I've suffered with depression all my life but this recent bout has lasted a year so far and is my worst ever (been hospitalised four times). I've also recently been diagnosed with BPD. Having a furry little companion has been really good for me, but I need to exercise her more or it's not fair.

[MrTiddlestheFatCat]

I don't think you're a terrible dog owner. I know some people who's dogs would be batshit crazy if they didn't get walked- would be destructive and hyperactive.

Mine, on the other hand, is fine without a walk every day. I know that I don't know for sure but I think she's pretty happy. She plays with her toys, naps on my knee, plays in the garden. I don't really see the problem if the dog isn't distressed and not confined all day or whatever.

I agree that a walk might help, even just a tiny tiny bit. Just having to get dressed and out of the house is one plus side. But I really don't think you need to feel like a terrible person and dog owner for this, really.

[3littlefrogs]

The OP did say that the dog gets to play outside, with the OP and toys, several times a day as well as the regular walks 4 times per week.

It doesn't sound as if the dog is kept inside all the time.

[NameChange30]

dontbreathe
" is it reasonable to suddenly insist the partner who didn't want the dog, and agreed to it only on the condition they didn't have to walk it, is suddenly expected to walk it?"
No. That's why I said that it was a terrible idea for the OP to override her DH's objections and insist on getting a dog when she was already ill and not necessarily able to take full responsibility for it. However, as you said, we can't turn back time. So OP needs to walk the dog every day, or rehomed it. Ideally DH would help from time to time but clearly he is being stubborn sticking to his guns which is fair enough I suppose.

OP could you persuade DH or DD to come with you sometimes when you walk the dog (rather than walking it for you)? Not just at the weekend but once or twice during the week as well? That might motivate both people because you would have company on your walk. Might be a nice opportunity for a chat with DH or DD.

Another option is to sign up to Borrow My Doggy to see if someone might be willing to walk the dog from time to time.

But the bottom line is that the dog needs a walk every single day.

[NeedACleverNN]

Oh don't feel guilty OP.

The dog is not going to suffer because you don't walk her everyday.

It's just better enrichment for her if you can manage it

[georgedawes]

I don't think you're a terrible owner, it's definitely better than being in rehomed from a loving family! Could you afford a dog walker twice a week? Or even just walk round the block on other days?

[georgedawes]

And you're doing better than a lot of people, my neighbour never walks her dogs. Maybe once every few months? That really is cruel.

[Boutrosboutros]

We have a small dog who isn't walked every day. I reckon he's walked about 5 times a week - we have a toddler and a new baby and in the dark evenings it's a nightmare trying to get out during the week. I do try to take him everywhere I go - so if I nip to the shops, he comes, if I take the kids to the park he comes - as pp said it's about getting out for a sniff and stimulation as much as anything. We have a great dog walker who wears him out once or twice a week and also a lovely lady we met through borrowmydoggy who gets him out for a longer walk once every week or two as well. Definitely say 'yes' to anyone who will help - friends or family who could help give her a leg stretch. It sounds like she has a lovely life and a loving home and you just need to try and tweak so she can get out and about a little bit more if possible!

[NameChange30]

Lots of cross posts! Sorry to hear you have BPD, but maybe with a diagnosis you can now get more specialist support. There are some good books and websites/forums out there for people with BPD. You will get there!

Try not to feel too guilty about the dog, or if you do, channel the guilt into motivation to take it out for a walk every day. Would it help to have a strict routine and take the dog at a fixed time every day? Rather than having a mental battle with yourself you JUST GO at x time.

[LeaLeander]

I have two Chihuahuas and a large garden and they are out in it every day; my veterinarian says they are in perfect health and they are very happy and sociable.

They are seldom walked off my property; yesterday I took one with me on errands and stopped in a quaint neighborhood and walked him for 20 minutes; that was an unusual situation. I do have a little hurdle set up in the back garden and every night we go out and they jump the hurdle and do other tricks, and they race one another all around the shed and greenhouse and such. They also run up and down the carpeted stairs to my cellar and race around in the carpeted den in the basement (the rest of the house is hardwood flooring and not condusive to running around.)

I think they are happy and healthy. If I didn't work such long hours I would like to be able to walk them to a different place everyday just to stimulate their minds but don't guilt myself because that isn't how my life works right now.

Do the best you can OP and maybe with the advent of summer you will get out more often. Your husband sounds like a cruel person and an utter jackass to threaten you. Are you sure he's not the big problem or root of your depression?