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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu - supposedly left wing parents in London

134 replies

jimmyjoejamtoe · 20/03/2016 18:55

Who run screaming to the home counties "because of schools?"

You know the type, having moved FROM the home counties after uni to London, then spend the rest of their twenties in London feeling smug at how "wonderfully diverse, edgy" everything is in London with a sneer at "middle England" but then...

..they go private...
...move to somewhere bland and safe...
when kids their kids arrive.

Hang on, you've changed your tune.

Aibu to feel a little peeved at these metropolitan types as they empty smugly from my area/go private?

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 20/03/2016 19:42

YANBU.

LaurieFairyCake · 20/03/2016 19:42

Definitely not Peckham. There's only the smallest flat with a garden under 500k.

ABitSensible · 20/03/2016 19:43

YABU. You can be left wing and not want your kids to go to a deprived school.

thecatfromjapan · 20/03/2016 19:46

The idea/ideal of politics is that people can be persuaded from immediate concerns, and even narrow sf-interest, by political argument.

It is a ridiculous, even damaging, myth that you have to be poor to vote Labour and have left-wing sympathies.

Equally, voting Conservative won't magically make you rich.

Having thought about it, I think the OP of this thread is suffering from such delusory thinking.

Palomb · 20/03/2016 19:49

No-one with any sense would send their child to be 'educated' at some inter city shithole school if there was anyway they could do different.

formerbabe · 20/03/2016 19:51

Oh op..you are so right! I live in London and my local area has changed so much...Full of smug middle class types who clog up the pavements, cafes and parks with their designer prams causing the house prices to rise even more before they bugger off to other parts of the country before their precious dc start secondary school!

VelvetCushion · 20/03/2016 19:54

Totally agree OP.

NotCitrus · 20/03/2016 19:55

I live in London, and when ds and his baby-group cohort hit 3ish, it was striking how many of the families 'had' to move out of London for all sorts of spurious reasons. Some were quite open that they wanted a bigger house and more garden than they could afford here, or even that when they saw their kids growing up that they realised they wanted more people like themselves at the kids' schools, but there were some made all sorts of claims about what opportunities they would get outside London that London state schools couldn't offer (there's no handy prep schools here, but some excellent state primaries!)

Roll on a few years and I have to admit to some schadenfreude when said parents have found either that local schools don't satisfy them and they 'have' to go private, or that the jobs that enable the private fees are tedious, or simply that their state schools are resting on their laurels and not providing the opportunities that ds is getting at his diverse inner-city primary. Though I admit we've lucked out so far.

So YANBU.

thecatfromjapan · 20/03/2016 19:55

Yes, Laurie

I'm really curious to know which edgy area the OP lives in, where people have to move out for good schools

These days, if you are young enough to be considering schools, you are moving out of london because there is nowhere affordaeeft, or you are quite well-off. Possibly related to this economic situation, possibly for other factors, there are very few seriously dire schools in London in 'edgy' areas. If you wanted to move to avoid a dire school in London, and can afford the catchment of a dire scho, you can probably afford the catchment of an OK school.
FAr, far more usual is just not being able to afford London.
Sad
Why am I wasting time spling this out?
Because I think THAT is far more relevant than a tired d cliche about lefties, education and money.
As a parent, I am seriously worried about my children's economic future in a country where jobs are concentrated in a small area if the country with ridiculous housing costs.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 20/03/2016 19:56

Incredibly, this - and other things - happen outside London as well.

I moved to a really lively, hip area in my 20's. In my 30's I wanted a garden. I moved. Approaching my 40's, DC meant that our needs changed and other areas were more suitable for loads of reasons.

I just don't see the big deal. People change, people move. Why are you 'peeved' OP? Are you personally offended that people move on and start wanting different things?

..move to somewhere bland and safe…

Yes, yes. Because only London is cool, right? Everywhere else is lame?

ABitSensible · 20/03/2016 19:56

So is everyone that moves to the country left wing? Does liking a bit of city life when you are younger make you left wing?
That all makes me less left wing than I thought I was.

JolseBaby · 20/03/2016 19:57

I do blame Diane Abbott, because she was quite happy to tell other people what they should be doing with their children, whilst making a completely different choice for her offspring. I couldn't give a shiny shite where you choose to educate your child unless you are publicly standing and telling everybody to do as you say not as you do. Then, as far as I am concerned, you are a fucking hypocrite.

All of those concerns that she felt about wanting what was best, did it never cross her mind that other parents feel the same way? What a pity she didn't have the courage of her convictions.

People change as they age. What you find fun and interesting in your early 20s might not seem as appealing once you have young babies to think about. I don't have an issue with that. It's quite tedious when someone doesn't have the self-awareness to acknowledge it though!

thecatfromjapan · 20/03/2016 20:08

I'm not sure that insisting on funding and high stAndards for state schools is exactly the same thing as insisting everyone send their child to a state school.

I think Fiona Miller was the most vocal proponent of everyone sending their children to a stAte school, and she did.

Partly because of massive (Labour) funding of state schools in Lonfon (historically, they were below the national average), the standard of London schools has been raised enormously.

Thank goodness that 'lefties' did care about state schools.

I think we're going to get a chance to see just how much the right care about state schooling in the future.

Seriously, save your ire about schooling for where it deserves to be directed.

pippistrelle · 20/03/2016 20:09

These days, if you are young enough to be considering schools, you are moving out of london because there is nowhere affordaeeft, or you are quite well-off.

How, then, would you explain the 36% of secondary school pupils (34.4% in primary schools) getting free school meals? I see what you're getting at and have considerable sympathy but the great sweeping statements about what London is and isn't don't help anyone.

thecatfromjapan · 20/03/2016 20:11

I blame Disne Abbitt ...

For what? Has she ever been an education secretary?

Someone stole a bag of sheets from me on a bus the other dsy. Should I blame her for that? It would make just as much sense.

Osolea · 20/03/2016 20:12

YABVU.

Being left wing on most subjects shouldn't make any parent compromise on the best they can do for their children's education.

People have more than their political leanings to consider when they have a family. They often want a garden, more space in their house, their own family near by, and it's pretty normal to want to recreate some of your own childhood for your children if you had a happy upbringing.

JolseBaby · 20/03/2016 20:16

She is a Labour MP. It's a central Labour principle that selective education is divisive.

She criticised both Tony Blair and Harriet Harmon for sending their children to selective schools, however when it came to her turn did exactly the same thing herself.

That's why I 'blame' her - blame being in the context of Andrew's comment up-thread about not blaming her for wanting to do the best for her son. As I said, no issue with wanting the best for your kids, but don't be a raving bloody hypocrite about it.

boobytrap321 · 20/03/2016 20:16

But schools in London are better than in the rest of the country. Generally

What are you on about op?

hollieberrie · 20/03/2016 20:18

Yanbu. I spent my 20's getting gently grumbled at by my leftie friends for working in a faith school. (I am not at all religious, I just ended up getting my first teaching post there and liked it so I stayed).

Now we're in our 30's they are all bloody sending their kids to faith schools in home counties villages because "the education is so much better" (i.e. the schools are full of middle class kids just like theirs). Gah...

claraschu · 20/03/2016 20:20

Everyone is a hypocrite. Some people have the grace to recognise when they decide to compromise, and some people are twattish enough to think they are completely principled in all they do.

Capricorn76 · 20/03/2016 20:23

They'd be pretty silly to leave London for better schools when London state schools are the best in the country. Many poor immigrant kids have a killer work ethic when it comes to education.

jeremyisahunt · 20/03/2016 20:23

I think 'call me Dave' sends is kids to state schools, dosent he?

mrsmugoo · 20/03/2016 20:25

YABU

How do you know they're left wing?

What exactly is wrong with living in London and persuing a career in your twenties then retreating to more affordable housing and better schools in your thirties?

Smacks of bitterness and jealously to me.

thecatfromjapan · 20/03/2016 20:28

Ppippi sorry, I'm on my phone. I meant (and I'll try harder this time ): if you can afford to buy in the catchment of a dire school, in an 'edgy' area, you can probably afford to buy in the catchment of a relatively good scho, within London.

Everything hangs on that 'if you can afford to buy within london'.

Most people can't, these days.

That was my point.

You're spot on about FSM. One of the issues I see emerging is the loss of the middle in london.

Buying or renting as a family is increasingly unrealistic. It leaves a big gap between peoe who have social housing and support with paying rent (and can 'afford' toive in London that way) and those who can pay a market tent.

We're 'middle earners' and can only afford to live where we do because we bought years ago.

I worry about the loss of that 'middle'.

hateflying1 · 20/03/2016 20:29

London schools across the board get better results than home counties ones yet still people move out. London is tiring though. Unless you have a very good income life's easier just outside.

^ this

So how does living in a million quid house make you more Left?

If you have lived in it for a while the value of your house has no bearing on how well off you are, it is just your house. On my London street it is only the people who have moved in over the last 3 or 4 years who are noticeably well off and look like they would rather not be in our neck of the woods/mix with the locals, as they have been priced out of more desirable areas.

No-one with any sense would send their child to be 'educated' at some inter city shithole school if there was anyway they could do different.

My dcs' school is Ofsted rated good, has a fantastic head, intelligent/forward thinking and friendly staff, is culturally diverse, tolerant and a great local school. It is also in inner London school. Definitely not a "shithole" Hmm. Quite apart from anything else, IMO nothing replaces a mix of cultures.