...to feel a little miffed that DH is out for the day with a female friend

[skinofthericepudding]

My DH told me a few days ago that he'd be out cycling today. and would need the car. I asked a couple of days ago what time he would be back, and he said late afternoon. I happened to ask who he was cycling with (he belongs to a couple of cycling groups) and he said that it was a female friend. He has met her few times for lunch etc and they have been to a local town for the day together for lunch and sight seeing. They used to work together and I have to admit that they probably have more shared interests than we do! I have never met her, but can't help feeling a little put out that he's spending Sunday with her. AIBU?

Twats not tears. Predictive text sucks

You seem to an (unwarranted) high opinion of yourself, Neo OW
Oh, I'm a he, not a she.

Not very analytical, are we?

Frankly, who cares if you are a she or a he???
I don't in the slightest.

Replace she with he, the rest still applies.

Wonder if it will be SockPuppetTrollFace

If you were able to apply a critical analysis to the last few posts you would conclude that we were having a bit of fun, a laugh, amusing ourselves. Not everything in life has to be terribly serious and placed under a microscope. That doesn't make the people posting stupid or boring, it makes them normal individuals with a functioning intellect able to connect with and entertain others.

I have been lucky to benefit from a good education. One of the benefits is that I am broad minded and do not pigeon hole people based upon their looks/occupation/social status etc. I am assuming OW that you have not been so lucky.

Well, this thread's certainly brought out the interesting characters among us

Have you been on the tattinger OW !

No need to get snarky of course there is a grain of truth in what you say

But the rub is all men are pretty Horny and I am sure that there are a lot of cheating vicars , social workers too

But yes I do tend to worry about the girls that marry these city boys as in general that materialistic thrusting greedy urge does not translate into being a kind husband

Not all though ! Not all

Yes of course I've been on tattinger, what else. We city types don't drink cider remember?

See, when almost every other person on here decided to call me shallow, arrogant, immoral (wtf?) and so on, it was fine, apparently. It was all a bit of fun.
I was not nasty or horrible to anyone, just stating my views. Still I was an easy target of oh-so-witty and noble wives.

But when the tables are reversed, and I've finally had enough b*shit, then shit hits the fan!
I can be nasty and condescending too. It's easy.
Not everyone chooses too though...

I didn't choose to until my last message.
To be honest, I now regret doing so. I should not have lowered myself to that level.

Ooh relax OW - I read the thread and really it's aibu - You expressed an opinion that went against the grain and that never goes down well

and I wasn't being snarky about the tattinger have a cider

Just because a few have upset you don't assume everyone is out to get u

Thank you stopshoutingatme.
You are right, of course.

But unfortunately no drink for me as yet, back to work now (different time zone).

Have one for me

eatsleephockeyrepeat Mon 21-Mar-16 14:30:16
Anyone read "The Woman Destroyed" by Simone de Beauvoir? Fantastic BTW, but that's beside the point.

It's not so much that it's about a similar scenario (it isn't), but it is about a woman who tries to absolutely everything she can to stop her husband falling in love with another woman and leaving her. Sometimes she follows the advice from other women who have been in similar positions, sometimes she tries to do what she thinks will work. Suffice to say she does not succeed in keep her husband's love, and she destroys herself in the process.

I do believe if someone's going to cheat they will. I do not believe many of us as partners have as much control as we may like to think. Surely all you can do is aim to have the healthiest, kindest and most fair and balanced relationship possible; one that enables both parties to feel trusted, and that their concerns are respected and taken into account?

Why would anyone want to take the advice of de Beauvoir, a woman who spent her life in thrall to a man who treated her as his concubine? An extremely intelligent woman herself she sacrificed children, marriage, to pander to the conceit of the philandering celebrity philosopher, while claiming to be a feminist.

Take it you shall only be marrying an ugly man who has no ambitions then ow seeing as they cannot be trusted

No Kali as I repeatedly stated I'll be marrying one from my professional environment, at least that's the way things are going.

AnotherOW is comedy gold. Like a Jilly Cooper character come to life

yes an interesting read, cant wade through the rest but hope op is OK.

AnotherOW
You have made many pertinent points and spoken very honestly. I do think you are stretching your generalisations a little too far and not allowing for individual personality differences, but by and large your cynical (socio biologist's) view of human behaviour is correct. Of course the smug, the self righteous, the deluded and the plain stupid always react with anger when their bubble is pricked.

Aerfen, you have summarised the issue so beautifully and so succinctly.
Thank you. I should learn from you.

By the way, I did acknowledge in one of my posts that I'd exaggerated to some extent. Yes my workplace is full of highly ambitious people. That doesn't make the concept false as you rightly observed.

BoneyBack, just saw your post. Yes I think I understand what 'opportunity' means in the context of the discussion.

Opportunities for travelling, for meeting similarly educated, motivated and likeminded individuals of the opposite gender, spending time with such individuals without spouses being present, indulgent / hedonistic attitudes commonly associated with this particular socioeconomic group, and non-existent or very limited financial accountability to spouses.
All above factors, especially when combined, create perfect breeding ground for extramarital affairs.

Now, of course, some people conduct affairs in the back of a family car, and I am not arguing with that. I suppose having a car to oneself and a night out in a local can be considered an 'opportunity' also. However, the back of a family car would never be as tempting for OW/OM as, say, a luxurious hotel suite or a private yacht, hence such an individual would be severely limited in their choice of a partner to engage in extramarital relationship with.

Well, OW, I'm surprised you don't seem to know it's actually Taittinger, not Tattinger....
For myself I prefer Perrier-Jouet Belle Epoque, or Roederer (but not Roederer Cristal, I'm not a rapper, FFS)

A very valid point Tartyflette!
Or, should it be Tartiflette??

Please make sure to bring any other important items, such as the one raised by you in your last post, to my immediate attention in the future. That's what secretaries are for.
Thank you for your assistance.

The Y is deliberate; it's called a play on words, or pun, OW. ( head tilt, kindly smile)

-thanks God she no longer has to work in the Bear Pit (another pun, geddit?) that is the City due to having already made her pile

Oh my! Really? I'd never have guessed! Oh, a play on words? I'd never have known.
Thank you for enlightening me!!

The irony is lost on you Tartyflette.

Your comment about champagne was silly and completely irrelevant to the discussion.
I was being ironic by pointing out a similar, 1 letter French spelling variation in your screenname.
Oh well.