Going on a stag do when I'm 36 weeks...

[fizzingmum]

My OH has been invited on a stag do in Benidorm. It will probably be Fri-Sun. At the time I will be 36 weeks pregnant. I am extremely scared about the birth already (a whole other thread) and now have extra worries that I will be alone for it. I have no one else that could be there with me, so no plan B. I don't have any reason to think the baby will come at 36 weeks and would feel terrible if he missed it and the weekend passed without arrival. But the thought of being alone is really worrying me. AIBU to not want him to go at this stage of pregnancy? Thanks in advance xx

Personally, it wouldn't bother me - as long as he had his mobile on him, there's plenty of flights back and it's not too far. My dh worked abroad throughout my pregnancy and we just made sure he had a decent flight/Eurostar plan back if I needed him. I also went on a hen night at 38 weeks - not abroad but 4 hours away.
Everyone is different though and if it bothers you I guess you could either tell him not to or try and get as much support in as possible for the time he is away - emergency babysitters, friends/family on call to help if you go into labour, freezer full of food etc etc...

I can't believe you're even considering letting him go, I had DS2 at 35+6wks and he came in 2.5 hours. He should be feeling like he shouldn't go and I'm surprised if he thinks it's OK.

My DH wouldn't have gone and it wouldn't have got as far as discussing it tbh. 36 weeks is too close to due date to be out of the country by choice. I understand that some posters have had DPs away on business etc when they've been full term but I bet if they're honest they'd have rather DPs weren't so far away.

Yanbu

How many weeks are you now?

Personally I would say no but you could go into labour at 40 weeks and for some reason he misses it so.

It's hard because I would want him to think it was unreasonable.

If it wasn't abroad I wouldn't be worried as he could get back quite quickly but I have to admit it's a bit close at 36 weeks. My 1st DD was 1 week early and as others have said, problems can occur that mean baby has to come out early. I don't think my DH would have gone at that late stage.

It doesn't matter how anyone else feels. All that matters is how you feel and you don't want him to go. If he's a decent person he would rather miss a stag do than potentially miss the birth or leave you panicking especially given the traumatic labour.
Wishing you luck and a safe arrival of your little one

The speed with which he could hop on a plane back would rather depend on what time of day he gets the call, and how inebriated he is at the time. If drunk he couldn't easily sort out a replacement ticket, and the airline would not have to let him fly if he was visibly intoxicated. It is good that you are so well off that he doesn't need to be saving any money for the new arrival!

I don't think he should be going - it's a small risk that you'd go into labour early but it is a risk. Also I doubt that he could get back in time if you did - I haven't got the stats on this to hand but there is a correlation between early and fast labours.
It's not essential he goes and it doesn't sound like he's that close to the stag anyway.

My first came at 34 weeks for no reason other than she fancied coming at 34 weeks... So the sentence "first labours rarely start early" make me laugh. But I appreciate I'm probably in the minority!

YANBU. If you want him around and this isn't a close friend or family member then I think he should stay at home. I understand why you're canvassing opinion, it's hard to be objective in any situation like this.

If he goes, not only will you worry that weekend but also in the run up. What a shame to have to spend pregnancy worrying about yet another thing this rather than looking forward to the arrival of DC3.

Plus all the practical reasons...you may need help with DCs 1&2, help with life in general, you could go into labour early. I imagine he may also be gutted if you did deliver that weekend without him.

I'd be glad he can go to the wedding as its close by and scrap the stag do. And I don't think you're being overly anxious and I would consider myself a reasonably laid back person in terms of DH going away