Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to ask my partner not to wear this?

111 replies

littlethingsthatbug · 19/03/2016 19:25

My partner has several items of clothing that him and ex have matching items T-shirts, shorts ect Embroidered or printed relating to various stages in their relationship / Wedding day. I have no issue with him keeping stuff like this. I understand it's a period in both of our lives you cannot just forget.
I myself have a wedding dress at my mothers as well as a couple of wedding gifts which are personalised but have chosen to keep there until I decide what to do.

When we moved in I put them all at the back of the wardrobe neatly when I sorted all our clothes and he questioned where they had gone, I said that where they were and why (I did it basically because I didn't expect him to want to wear them but he obviously does). I know all about the reasons behind them and the backstories he couldn't help telling me and it's made it worse for me when he wears them.

Aibu to politely ask him not to wear these things?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Lweji · 19/03/2016 19:55

It may sound ott, but I'd be really angry if he still wore those. It would be similar to him still wearing his wedding band.
I'd explain why it upsets me and ask if he'd still rather be with her.

oneowlgirl · 19/03/2016 19:58

WTF - that's very very strange. I get that he'd want to keep them but to wear them?? Very bizarre! YANBU

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 19/03/2016 20:00

Aww! Howard and Hilda! 💕💕

pigsDOfly · 19/03/2016 20:00

Dear god. Those t-shirts are just wrong.

228agreenend · 19/03/2016 20:02

Have you asked why he wants to wear them? I guess if it's a favourite band thirst which he still likes, then that's okay, but to actively wear the matching clothes, then that's weird.

fruitlovingmonkey · 19/03/2016 20:02

YABU for moving in with a man who thinks matching clothes are acceptable.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 19/03/2016 20:02

Matching clothes is a bit weird but they are just clothes they don't have souls or anything.

And nobody gets to dictate to an adult what they can wear or not

paxillin · 19/03/2016 20:02

I'd have lots of T Shirts printed for myself.

"I am not the one with the matchey top"

"Wifey is long gone"

"This is not the her from his 'n hers"

228agreenend · 19/03/2016 20:03

Defiantly ask him not to wear them, and explain why.

MargotLovedTom · 19/03/2016 20:05

Ha, I thought Howard and Hilda too Grin.

abbsismyhero · 19/03/2016 20:08

did they go to ibiza in 1995? i shared a table with a couple like this matching hats shorts tshirts he carried her bag for her they were there for the culture personally i went with my gay best friend we went for the sangria beaches and clubs Grin they were staying virgins till they got married etc etc they asked to be moved to a different table when we showed up drunk to breakfast and couldn't stop laughing (this was pre dc and pre getting my act together i hasten to add)

BastardGoDarkly · 19/03/2016 20:09

Grin Paxillin I think you should do that op.

How very odd though? We're going to need more of a description.

pigeonpoo · 19/03/2016 20:12

I wouldn't handle it.

He's basically saying he hasn't moved on. Subconsciously if not verbally, but very very blatantly

Keeping things in storage for your kids to look at later - fair dos, but not this.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/03/2016 20:15

Abbsis Ibiza 95 brings back great memories Smile

Please OP, we need details of the embroidered clothing and wtf is printed on a printed tshirt relating to his wedding ?

LuluJakey1 · 19/03/2016 20:18

What on earth are they? DH and I have items of printed or embroidered clothing that celebrate events in our relationship or marriage- and we have no matching clothing of any kind at all. I can't imagine what we would have. Perhaps we are odd.

AgentZigzag · 19/03/2016 20:18

All clothes are symbolic NeedsA, and if he's wearing something like the shirts in those examples then it'd be a symbol too far IMO.

And I don't believe 'And nobody gets to dictate to an adult what they can wear or not' for a minute! You'd be fine attending the wedding of a close family member with a bloke in a mankini or Peter Stringfellow speedos? And not for a bet/laugh! Grin

(apologies for Stringfellow speedos imagery)

Floggingmolly · 19/03/2016 20:19

God only knows. I wouldn't let DH keep wearing such a thing if it related to our wedding, let alone a previous one. Wouldn't be seen in public with him.

pigeonpoo · 19/03/2016 20:20

Is it something like the band t shirt of who played at his wedding?

Still too wrong though

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 19/03/2016 20:35

I went batshit politely asked DP to dispose of some 'to my valentine' type cufflinks once and several items, fridge magnets etc with writing in the language of his non British ex went in the bin after I put the words through Google translate which confirmed it was all soppy stuff as I suspected missing when we moved in together. He doesn't have to gaze upon trinkets from my past so why should I put up with it?

Matching clothes though? Er... Hmm

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 19/03/2016 20:40

Oh I love Howard and Hilda Grin

I don't think I'd be too happy at him wearing them, OP. Esp as he seemed to notice them missing and seek them out - it's not like he just chucked a tshirt on from the drawer and then thought, yikes, that's my wedding Tshirt!

UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 19/03/2016 20:42

BTW my cousins were given matching T shirts on their wedding day by their friends - with their names and the date and 'Just married' on the back. It was quite cute really, but I can't imagine they wear them now....

Ginkypig · 19/03/2016 20:46

Dp has things like his old wedding ring or a chain as I have a ring that my ex gave me but neither of us would wear them.

I suppose some of his clothes might have been bought by her, I know I still have a band tshirt that I got while at a gig with my ex although I see that as different!

I would not wear a piece of clothing embroidered with somthing related to a previous relationship ever.

MoonfaceAndSilky · 19/03/2016 20:55

Matching clothes Shock

Please tell me they look like this

Aibu to ask my partner not to wear this?
Flisspaps · 19/03/2016 20:56

I'd quite like a space print frock Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread