AIBU to remind you that there are real people on this forum

[chelle792]

Most things on MN go over my head. Nastiness, I ignore generally. Heated debates, I stay out of.

For the first time my bloody is literally boiling about something I've just read.

Please please remember there is a person behind the screen that you are talking to. Imagine a person close to the edge, a vulnerable person. Someone whose only means of support is to turn to mn.

I've had a hard time lately and have openly posted on here. Tbh, I only ever really post when I am feeling vulnerable. I have had nothing but support and understanding, thankyou

But, would you want to be the person responsible for tipping someone over the edge? Be nice people, please.

Fine, turn to Mumsnet for advice and support then but accept the risks! Hand-wringing pious threads like this one really get on my nerves (sorry op) because they are so naieve. ANYONE could be here reading and posting, it is the very first thing we teach our little children in primary school about internet safety.

That's my point pinkflowerbluesky, you can't police it.

Therefore as much as I think chat forums can be wonderful for some people, they can be equally dangerous too because they're 'un-policed'.

If you were at your lowest ebb, you probably wouldn't seek advice from the raging drunk person who stands outside the train station, babbling to themselves and shouting at passers by.

But in reality, that could be the person interacting with you on an internet thread.

Absolutely but it isn't going to stop anyone seeking support.

There were a couple of threads recently where many of the posters stated they were childless FFS.
Why are they here at all? How sad are their lives that they feel the need to create an account just to tell parents they are self entitled for expecting to be treated with common courtesy?
Dont get me started on the Clearly MRA's.

You're right it won't...and to be fair it probably shouldn't.

But it doesn't do any harm to remind people that not everyone on the internet, is the sort of person they would want to approach in real life.

Like me for example

If you are that concerned, address it on the thread & report.

This is a pointless thread about a thread!

ABitSensible "Why are they here at all"?

Because Mumsnet has hundreds of help topics and a very large proportion of them have nothing to do with parenting.

I survive because I remember that MN, like the rest of the online world, consists of an overwhelming majority of decent, hard working, kind, supportive individuals and a tiny minority of vocal assholes who would no sooner post a supportive word than post their own addresses so the flaming torch and pitchfork gang could come after them

Sadly, while there are no shortage of posters who turn to MN in a time of crisis, there are an equal number who will exploit this for entertainment.

There are a multitude of other supports out there, the posters know it, but sometimes even the posters choose to take the more public, less concrete assistance convenient route.

It rarely ends well.

People will never stop posting for support, they can post about whatever they want. But ultimately they need to think about who is replying and whether the support is really what they are after. MN doesn't replace RL proper qualified support. It's all opinions.

I'm one of these childless people who post here. Hopefully not for too much longer though!

Of course sparkling but that does assume RL support is there and it frequently just isn't.

Ultimately RL help will have to be sought. What if MN goes offline for days again?

I have had problems that I wouldn't post on MN or talk to anyone in RL about. Just sort of work through them on my own.

I am honestly baffled by people who think a chat forum on the internet is their own private world. this is not a safe space. people can register anonymously and say what they like.

and all this squeaking about trolls is ridiculous. people tell lies on the Internet. we teach our children about Internet safety and then completely forget it applies to grownups too. plus, trolls are SO 2007.

there are no safe spaces on the Internet. the sooner people internalise this the better.

Also, I think that with so many threads like this one, it's easy to forget that overall, Mumsnet is a very helpful and supportive forum.

It's just that people tend not to start as many threads pointing out the good stuff, because there would be far too many of them.

Exactly Sparkling

I really wouldn't start a thread on here about anything desperately emotionally important. Public Internet chat forums aren't there to help people through vulnerability and crisis and there are too many unstable people out there who can make matters worse for people who don't keep themselves safe.

I really dislike the view that MN is nasty or that AIBU is full of awful people - those views are normally posted by a) people who have posted bollox and been called on it b) trolls c) people who contribute little to threads except to tut and suck their teeth

I like this site because it tends to be honest, up front, sarcastic and funny (some people don't like that)

Yes some people dive in and are rude or unpleasant - these tend to be the minority and tend to be people who lack the capacity to contribute anything of worth except spiteful remarks BUT these people are not the norm

I have seen some amazing support and kindness offered here - so stop this lazy finger pointing

Thing is, when you're really down & feeling vulnerable you aren't able to rationalise everything ( oh, I better not ask for help my thread could attract a troll ) you just act on impulse & reach out for help.
That's what I did anyway, & thankfully for me everyone was wonderful.
But yes, you post a thread & take your chances, but despite some of the negatives Internet forums have, I firmly believe mumsnet is a great place for support.

Are you taking the piss with that comment abitsensible? Childless people who create accounts on mumsnet have sad lives? You must be joking?

Perfect example of how you can be having an interesting and coherent discussion on the internet, and then a bomb gets thrown into the thread by someone who is either being deliberately malicious or stupid (ABitSensible).

I shouldnt have drawn attention to it to be fair, but comments like that really wind me up.

Public Internet chat forums aren't there to help people through vulnerability and crisis

Maybe not but sometimes they do help people through crisis and there are many examples of this happening on the Relationships and MH boards. I've posted on MH when I've felt desperate and it's not because I don't have RL support, it's because sometimes floating stuff to strangers can be a useful precursor to going to a RL friend or MHCP.

I think if you have an ongoing issue/problem that is never going to go away you can feel a burden always talking about it to people in RL. That's when it helps to talk online.

I have an ongoing issue that makes me feel isolated and I often feel I'm the only one going through it. It helps me to talk to people who are going through it too.

I survived before MN and I'd survive if it shut down tomorrow. I feel as though people who use it for support are being criticised! I accept I may be feeling over sensitive though!