Am I super ungrateful about my baby shower?

[possum18]

I really don't mean to offend anyone who loves baby showers, I'm a firm believer in 'each to their own' when it comes to such things.
I'm 34 weeks with twins, huge, on bed rest, uncomfortable and feeling super anti social.
Since the beginning of my pregnancy I told my friends and family that I really really didn't want a baby shower, I find them 'asky' (for presents and attention) and a little Americanised.
My sister has pushed and pushed and so I agreed to go out for coffee one lunch time before the twins come with my mum, sister and 2/3 closest friends. I thought this was a fair compromise. We agreed on this Sunday lunch time.
Nothing has been said since until i got a message from an old old school friend who I haven't spoken to for over a year, apologising she wouldn't be making it to my baby shower this Sunday.
Have done some digging and found out my sister is throwing me a big baby shower this Sunday, for 35 people, AT MY HOUSE!

DH had no idea and isn't too happy because he knows how uncomfortable I am, and my feelings on showers anyway.

I now don't know what to do, people were invited weeks ago and a lot of old uni friends have got the weekend off work to travel down..etc so I can't exactly cancel.

Am I ungrateful and being a bitch to be super annoyed?
I've been in full blown nesting mode this week and my house is spotless, the thought of 30+ people here makes me want to cry

It could be worse than the sperm game. You could have 'guess what is in the nappy' or the baby food tasting game.

I actually enjoy baby showers. It's always a good time to get together with friends and have a good chat and a laugh. Some of the games can be fun. But in your situation it's not ideal. Thank goodness your mum is on board though.

Oh and you are being optimistic hoping it will be over in an hour! I've never been to one that didn't last a good few hours.

My manager tried to throw me a surprise "do" both times

First time was at a local at hotel, with all the 'women in the company' plus a few select guys she deemed I 'got along with' my manager was being incredibly sexist with the women only and I got on with everyone
Thankfully I was warned before things were booked and I out the kibosh on it.

Second time it was a surprise lunch with the whole office (30 people). I was 38.5w, had a toddler at home and hadn't slept for months. I actually think I posted on here about it. It was a set menu so my manager picked my meal for me and it was something I didn't eat

YANBU op, but be firm and honest and put it on FB now. There is NO SHOWER, NO PARTY, YOU ARE ONE BEDREST

I had had my twins by 35 weeks so you might not even be at home.... Blooming cheek though, bad enough planning a surprise shower when she knew your views, but to invite everyone to your house without even asking your DH. I bloody well hope she is planning on going all the clearing up!

I had a baby shower organised by my boss on my last day of work at about 31 weeks pregnant with twins. Nice and small with about 10 people. Was exhausted at that point so can only imagine how hard it is for you on bed rest and further along than I was

I think the OP said that friends have taken time off work to come to this event. I can understand that she doesn't want to let them down now.

Having it at your Mum's and making your appearance brief sounds like a good solution, I think.

YANBU
How awful.

Take your mum up on her offer, at least you can escape when you want to.

OP. I hope the shower is going well and that you are resting in state while everyone looks after you.

I want to play a game of pin the sperm on the egg!!!!

It wasn't as bad as I had made it to be in my head, everyone was very understanding of the fact I was knackered and expected very little of me and so I just sat around and chatted whilst my lovely mum played hostess with her baked goods and wine!
Sister was a bit sheepish for the day, I definitely couldn't have dealt with this all at my house on a surprise basis.
Stayed about an hour and a half which was more than enough. Just had a nap and am currently waiting for my bubble bath to run!

Keep it in mind when organising a party for her though. Is she the cocktails in a sophisticated bar type? Organise a ten pin bowling for her. She loves cosy tea parties? Have a karaoke night with a stripper.

I just want to say, I feel your pain!

SIL did this to me. Invited all of her family to my baby shower (34 weeks pregnant, she was 28 weeks) even though I said I didn't want one. Didn't invite any friends or any of my relatives, also didn't include any food I could eat (vegan)

I was most annoyed when I didn't get invited to her baby shower (she organised her own) but then again her own mother didn't make the cut and they were supposed to be close. She hurt everyone's feelings. I wanted to make it as awkward for her as she made it for me dammit!!

At least I can take comfort in the fact that DS is as calm as you like (had a difficult pregnancy)
And her DD is very colicky and does sleep (had an easy pregnancy)
Does that mean I win right?

*doesnt sleep

was going to say have elsewhere, even a pub/function room if need be and attend but if get tired, have a twinge

but see you had at yours mums

and yes ive played pin the sperm on the egg, and taste the poo (melted choclate in a nappy) and taste the baby food and guess it