to allow my ds the day off next Thursday

[dingit]

It's end of term reward trip to Thorpe park. Ds received letter saying he qualified to go. We had to send in reply slip, then names were pulled out of hat, they didn't have enough tickets for all.
So ds is not on the trip, and was naturally upset. Unfortunately all his friends were laughing at him which made it worse. The kids not going go to school as usual. He also has to go to school this Saturday for a science ca.

He says he's not going in next Thursday. I'm inclined to agree with him, but on the other hand am I giving out the wrong message?

I've already emailed school, asking why they do it like that. Surely it isn't difficult to just send offers for the amount of places they have, then start dishing out reserve places.

Well, for kids, the reward is the trip to the Thorpe Park, not the fact that they "qualify" for it They shouldn't be telling people they're qualified for trips there isn't enough space on. It's not fair.

I would keep him off, tbh. The whole system is ridiculous and clearly other parents agree. I bet he won't be the only one taking the day off!

He should definitely be going in school
A) you were both happy with the system when it was in his favour (he needs reminding)
B) the school was upfront the system was being used
C) he shouldn't get to say he's not going in

We had a similar process at school for a trip to China, I don't remember feeling hard done by for not being pulled out of the draw but probably because my parents wouldn't have encouraged that kind of behaviour (why did you tell him you felt it was unfair?)

But the kids know the score.
He got in from a reserve list last year.
Wasn't raising it with the school or posting on MN then

Point taken cabrintha, I'm in a stinking mood today over something else that happened today. No need to take it out on random people on Internet

I told him I thought it was unfair because it was, and emotions were running high that day, I told him how sorry I was and made sympathetic noises. I acted on instinct, I prefer to be honest with my kids.
I'm going to send him to school based on some points raised on the thread.

I still wouldn't make him go.

All things considered I would let him chose whether to go into school or not on that day - mostly because I don't think it will matter either way whether he does or doesn't go. I think with teens especially you need to choose your battles wisely and this one isn't worth it, so I'd let him chose what to do but I wouldn't be taking him out or buying games to make up for it - it's not your fault he didn't get chosen.

My ds has missed out on the last 3 reward trips because he hates roller coasters.......

I hate Thorpe park. Buy expensive tickets then fork out another £20 each for a fast pass. Thieving bastards.

I don't agree with telling children they have to go to school, because they don't.
It's not helping them in future life anyway.
You have a job you hate and is creating mh problems for you, but you have to go?
Not have any time off.
Bollocks.
Kep him off, make a stand against a stupid system that most other schools wouldn't even consider.

Damaging to his mental health- not having his name pulled out of a hat for a treat when that's the system the school has been using every year since he started? Do me a favour!

No Bert duh.

The future when he could be in a job he can't stand and mh suffering, him learning that you have to keep going whether you want to or not will do him no good.
We shouldn't teach our children to do this, unless we want them very unhappy grown ups.

(There is a big difference between a job that is causing you mental health problems and a school where you're having a strop because your name wasn't pulled out of a hat for a treat!

newlife didn't say that this situation was creating MH issues for him did she? Seems quite clear to me what was meant.

I agree newlife. I think a lot of parents MNetters are too hung up on Teaching Life Lessons. They tend to come along naturally ime, you don't have to force them.

Yep- they do come along naturally.. Like this one. Name came out of the hat last year? Lucky you. Not this year? What a bummer. Never mind-it's fantastic that you got all those merits- I'll buy you that game you want as a consolation prize. Now to school with you.

God that's an unfair system. I'm really anti time off school willy Nilly, but I would keep him off, in fairness to him and to make a point. Whether the point made was observed is another thing altogether but I'd feel better regardless.

I honestly don't, think it's unfair so long as the kids understand how it works. it's much fairer that first to get the form in for example. And MUCH fairer than first to get the money in,.

It wouldn't make any kind of a point at all.
Writing out a good proposal for a better system would make a good point.
More of a point, if it had been written the year he was one of the lucky ones.
He needs that pointing out, and to be told to get over himself.

He's not having MH problems in a job he hates ffs! He's a 14 year old who drew a short straw, and he needs to go to school rather than bunk off eating sour grapes!

I absolutely agree.

but that's not what eating sour grapes means-

"But I think first come first served is fairer than a draw"

Well, it is if you think kids whose parents don't have anything else onto do in the morning/live next door to the school/have money available at the drop of a hat should always get first dibs.........

It is fairer than first in with form or money.
It's not as fair as everyone gets to go or class trips where they all go.
Why have such a daft system in the first place, I have honestly never heard of this before.
What happens if you aren't lucky and go through the school never having your name pulled out.
Special consideration in last year, it's mad.

But some families will never have the money without notice. Some families can never get their kids to school 5 minutes early to pop to the office. There will be kids who never get to go if it's first come first served. And it will often be nothing to do with the child- but to do with the parents.

So out of a hat is much fairer.