People keep saying she's tiny!

[Rubysmummy2016]

Hi all,

I need to rant. My little girl is now almost 4 weeks old, she was 5 weeks premature when born (waters broke at 33 weeks so had to be induced). I've just started building up the courage and the confidence to take her out to see friends and some family but it's bringing me down. Whenever someone see's her or holds her they say "she's so tiny", "I can hardly feel her in my arms" so on and so on.

People have even asked to hold her because of how small she is saying "All the babies in my family have been 8/9lb, I've never held a baby so small!" Thank you very f--king much, get away from me and my baby (didn't say that, made up some excuse and walked away).

I know I am probably over reacting, but I know she is small. I don't see why every one needs to remind me constantly that I couldn't carry her to full term and that she's not as big as everyone else's babies. This is probably more of my own issue than anyone else, but have any other mummies of a premature baby felt like this?

[Roseberrry]

I'm another that says that about every baby! It's so easy to forget how teeny weeny they are.

I doubt anyone would want to try and make you feel bad for not going full term, it was out of your control.

[exWifebeginsat40]

mine was full term and over 7lb and people went on for WEEKS about how small she was. I even got told off by the HV as her head was small. not sure what I was supposed to do about that...

she's still petite and has tiny hands. however, she is also nearly 16, as tall as me and eats like a ravenous mountain lion.

congratulations on your baby girl.

[CamboricumMinor]

I'm sure that they don't mean to be offensive but I do get what you mean as both mine were tiny. I tend to say 'gosh, I'd forgotten how tiny babies are; it's ages since mine were that small'

[JanetOfTheApes]

They are saying she is tiny, because she is. It's not anything negative. You really need to chill.
My DD is tiny and wasn't even prem, she is just small. Everyone says "oh she's tiny" or "she's a little doll!" and I just say, yes, she is isn't she. She is smaller than my prem boy was, so what? It's just small talk, get over it!

[queenMab99]

All the older neighbours in my street said 'ahh he's small, but he's got all the world to grow in' and he had and did, and so will yout little one.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I was in Boots the other day and a little teeny tiny pink dress for a very early baby caught my eye. I was with my pre-teen boys and I never go to mush over baby stuff or am overly sentimental about babies but I actually squeaked "oh look at THIS boys, how tiny and cute is this?!!!" I was smiling away.

Honestly teeny tininess makes people comment - in a good way.

[ifcatscouldtalk]

Congratulations.
People are making small talk, what would you rather people say? Tbh beyond congratulations I never know what to say about newborns. I'd probably say I love the name Ruby, because I do.
Fwiw when my dd was 4wks old strangers comments probably did get on my tits, I can't remember!

[BitchPeas]

DD is tiny. She was full term and now nearly 1, whenever I take her out anywhere people tell me how tiny she is, a woman in a car park even tried to argue with me about how she MUST have been premature because she was so SMALL

People talk loads of shit to/around/about babies. Don't take it personally because I'm 99.99% sure it's not meant personally at all.

[Witchend]

People said that about dd1 who was almost 8lbs and not tiny. It's about being a newborn nothing to do with that particular baby.

[TakemedowntoPotatoCity]

My DD was premature. I had to take her to the Evelina hospital just 2 weeks after being discharged from hospital, and she was still only about 4lbs. I remember this woman who looked somewhat drunk staring at us in the toilet then leaning in and saying 'she looks like a little DOLLY!' I could cheerfully have throttled her Happily DD is now a healthy 4 yo. It is a tough time but you will get through it :)

[OhMrBadger]

I think childbirth and the early days are so emotional and angst-laden that if I it doesn't quite go to plan, we sometimes look for criticisms that aren't really there. Almost as an emotional stick to beat ourselves with. My two were 8lb 9 and 8lb 15. DS1 was bottle fed because we just couldn't get the latch right and I worried constantly about him gaining weight too quickly. I bumped into a colleague and she took one look and said, "he's HUGE!". I crumpled right away and had to let it in floods of tears.

You doing great.

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

She will get her own back. Dd2 is petite, it's a family joke that people only call her cute if they don't know her! If someone makes the mistake of calling her cute to her face she scowls and tells them in no uncertain terms that she ... is...not...cute. Not a mistake most people make twice!

I found one of the strangest things was when I had subsequent dc and overnight they suddenly turned into giants, and if I picked up the baby without thinking then they would zoom up because I was used to toddler weight! You honestly do forget.

[parallax80]

If it makes you feel any better, mine have all been 5lb-ish at term and lots of "tiny baby" comments. Didn't bother me a bit, some babies with smaller weights spend a little time in hospital with restricted visiting so they genuinely were the smallest babies many people had held.

DD is 1 minute older than DS2 and was 1oz heavier at birth. Now they're 18months and she's still dinky while DS2 has grown a bit more. So now people don't assume they're twins and we get "what's the age gap? - usually with a face"

(Along with "are they identical?", "were they natural?" Etc etc)

[babybellishell]

My 5 lb DS1 was described as tiny, he was. He's 6'4" now.
I think we're all used to looking at baby images of DC that are 6-9 months so she will look tiny compared to them.

[BertrandRussell]

Mine were enormous and I love it when I get to hold a tiny baby because mine never were. The little ones are so cute and delicate and beautiful.

My great nephew was born not long after my ds (yep, weird family) and I nearly bounced the poor child's head off the ceiling the first time I picked him up because he weighed a bit more than half what mine did.....

[Lweji]

When ds was bigger but still a baby, every newborn felt like nothing. A couple of times I was lucky not to throw them to the ceiling. :)

It will pass.

[SpecialSnowflake]

It really isn't meant as a criticism of either you or her - it's just true, and true of all newborns, whether they're 4lb or 10lb.
My DS1 was 4wks early and 5lb5oz, pretty darn sure he was officially tiny, and yes everyone commented on it.
I understand you're getting sick of it, but it does ease off as they develop. My DS stayed on the small side and still gets comments, but honestly, everyone get comments about something. Friends with big babies get plenty of annoying comments too, mostly assuming their DC are older and should be more developed/better behaved/assumptions made about their births etc.
Prob a good idea to develop a thicker skin!

I love meeting newborns, they are just adorable and yes TINY!

[FrancisdeSales]

Congratulations on your beautiful new baby x

We spend our first few weeks after a birth crashing down from the huge hormonal high of pregnancy. It can make us very sensitive emotionally and make it hard to maintain a sense of humour. You are going through an enormous transition and may still be absorbing the shock of an earlier birth than expected.

Be kind to yourself. A big study of PND has found the most common symtom to be anxiety not depression for most women. If your stress, anxiety and ruminating increases maybe see your midwice or GP.

[IoraRua]

Honesty it's just something people say about newborns, and it's meant kindly - would you rather they said "jesus,she's fucking loud!" or something?
In the nicest way possible, you need to toughen up a bit.

[TattyDevine]

Oh babe I'm sorry. I'd probably make a stupid comment like that, simply because she probably does seem tiny! Mine were both 9lb 2 and Ive known babies who barely get to that weight by the time they are 2 months old or more, due to either prematurity or being small, or not fat bastards like my family. It's not a dig.

And like a previous poster I've had people say my newborns are tiny, simply because they are newborns, even though they are by no means tiny!

YANBU, but nor are they, perhaps they are insensitive but they don't have the emotional intelligence to see that you might see it that way (and I include myself in that, because I may well say the same thing).

Just enjoy your gorgeous scrunchy tiny thing! It's all good.

[Danglyweed]

Dd1 weighed 3lb 4, dd2 4lb 4, dt1 2lb and dt2 2lb 8... all went home weighing between 4lb and 5lb. The comments really are relentless. Random strangers commenting that it must've been an easy birth

[PerspicaciaTick]

All babies:
Are tiny
Have that lovely newborn smell (even the ones with stinky nappies)
Are soft
Have a really strong grip
Have their father's nose and their mother's eyes
Are so alert
Are adorable

When faced with a tiny red ball of fury and parents who are mad-eyed with sleep deprivation, people just say stuff to keep the conversation moving along.

[Valentine2]

YANBU. It's very annoying that it must be obvious a baby is premature and they still say that in your face instead of saying something positive and nice which could be millions by the way. Avoid if you can. And if you can't, tell them it bothers you and you have been Teri let worried already.

[Writerwannabe83]

Please don't take it to heart.

My friend had a 8lb 10 baby a few weeks ago and whenever I visit I'm always going on about how tiny he is

Babies are tiny

Congratulations