aibu to be stressed out by my friend holiday planning?

[FrameyMcFrame]

Going away on a city break with friend, hoping for a chilled time and lots of fun. But my friend has decided we need to book restaurants for every meal time and sending me millions of texts about possible places to eat. Is that normal? I'd just like to rock up with my copy of the rough guide and explore, decide where to eat at the time....
Aibu to tell her to stop all the planning???

Is there an event or similar which would mean booking restaurants is essential?

She's probably just a bit over-excited. Just explain to her that you're happy to book maybe one or two nice restaurants (as a compromise) but the rest of the time you'd like to explore and see what you find. In a decent city that won't be hard to do.

I'm a planner. Dh is a 'just rock up' type and we have been turned away as no room

Most decent places you have to book. Just nod along.

If she likes to plan every minute and you prefer to just rock up and take things as they come then I suggest you talk about it and find a happy medium. Neither way is wrong but they are incompatible.

Seems you have different ideas of what makes a good holiday. If this is really gets, then you'll need to compromise, probably something along the lines of some days booked, some days 'free'.

You'll still need to explain that you have different ideas though, or you'll just be fed up on your holiday.

• hers, not gets!!

Let your friend book the dinners but suggest you play the rest of the day by ear so can adapt according to how you feel/the weather etc.

I'm going on holiday with one of my best friends in just over a week.

I've been trip advisoring the place to death and have lots of ideas of things to do and places to eat. But they are just mental notes for myself. I've suggested a couple of activities to her and we've agreed to do somethinga in principal but haven't booked or decided when.

Holidays are supposed to be relaxing.

I'd let her book. From experience, "rocking up" often involves 100 other tourists having the exact same idea, and you get increasingly tired and hungry and ratty until someone says ".....well, there's a McDonald's over there at least....."

It's a bit like going to London and walking up to a nice restaurant, expecting to get a table for dinner because you read about it in your guide.

If you don't plan, you won't sample lovely independent restaurants - you'll be stuck in generic chain places with all the other tourists who couldn't bother making a reservation, like a local.

Let her book dinner least its out the way and sorted nothing worse than heading out to eat and you cant get in maybe as a compromise let her book 3/4 places when she texts say that sounds lovely i trust you to book nice places or say ooh just surprise me

DH loves making itineraries for trips, I'm a 'let's wander this way, sod the map' person. We compromise. He books somewhere for dinner, gives me a few places he really wants to see at some point in the trip, and we wander in between, going for somewhere to eat lunch when we chance upon a likely place. It works for us. Once or twice a year he takes me away for the weekend and does it entirely his way - I don't even know the location until we're there. I do the same back.

I think you are lucky because just rocking up usually ensures you don't find the most wonderful places and miss out on a lot. Tell her you don't want tight, inflexible schedules for the whole holiday but would be delighted to prebook a few places that recommend early booking and for the others to be listed up and chosen as you go along and according to what you fancy that day. I guarantee you will have better experiences thanks to her research so don't be too uptight at the idea of 'winging it'.

Where are you going? How will you know where you will be and when you will want to eat?

I tend to just wander about and pick somewhere I like the look of. I think I tried trekking across a city to find something in a guidebook once and I realised that

I had probably passed dozens of other great restaurants on the way and there was no way that the restaurant was in the guidebook due to any kind of systematic process and wasn't necessarily run by the same people.

Unless you are going during a huge event and wouldn't otherwise get in anywhere, or want to go somewhere really iconic like Tickets in Barcelona, I really wouldn't bother booking in advance.

Being a planning type, I think leads to a more chilled holiday to research and book meals out. It means that you already know that somewhere is likely to be good, decent menu, right price range etc. You can then decide which district you're eating in that night and be more spontaneous about what you do around dinner, explore bars to visit etc.

Every mealtime is a bit extreme though - I would say that weekend evenings and/or high end places should be booked, and on quieter nights and breakfast/lunch you can be a bit more free to pitch up somewhere you like the look of!

My DP is the same chocolateaddict. Means we walk around endlessly not getting into the same places I would have booked, until eventually we end up somewhere crap! He has come around to my way of thinking, thankfully and now I book up places, as mostly it's easy to cancel if we change our minds!

I love the idea of wandering and just chancing upon the most delightful little bistro, where the food is amazing and the atmosphere fun of fun.
However as I am GF and we are both vegetarian, it would be dreadful in reality.
When we went to Edinburgh recently we had looked at the places we wanted to visit, which restaurants were nearby and made a rough itinerary

I like the planning as much as the break

I am a rock up and see what happens type, my husband has more sense though and he will book places he reads about in guide books or online.

Really on a break away, sometimes it is the only way to sample the best places.

could you say ok too her booking the meals out, but you don't want to over plan what you get up to on the day?

I'm like you OP, I like wandering with a Time Out guide in hand just in case. On holidays with friends we've drank cocktails far too late before finding a late night tapas bar, or we've spotted a lovely restaurant in the day and booked it for that evening, sometimes after convincing them to squeeze us in! I find the impromptu nights are often the best ones.

I'd agree with suggesting a compromise - half booked beforehand, half impromptu.

I usually go for a compromise - check out one or two good restaurants beforehand and see if I can plan sightseeing trips round those, otherwise I just stop anywhere that looks good.

I would definitely book for all the meals - then you have a free option and if you decide to find somewhere else to go you can just cancel.
The places that are easy to drop into are usually in the touristy areas where as often the places for those "in the know" you often need to book....

Where are you going?

I don't see any need to book breakfast or lunch, but dinner is different. If you don't book, particularly in a touristy European city for example, you haven't got a cat in hell's chance of eating somewhere lovely and will probably end up in MaccyDs.

There's nothing worse than wandering around until half ten at night desperately trying to find somewhere half decent to eat...!

If there are special "must do" dinner places, let her book a couple. Breakfast/lunch - meh, good to have a few options in mind but I'd be less worried about planning to the nth degree.

Every meal time is a little excessive but if you both like to eat out in nice places and have a reasonable budget to do so then it's best to book if it's a major city.

Ohhhh I want to go on holiday with your friend! A holiday planned by someone else - how marvellous. I'd get to see all the sights without criss crossing the city a million times, eat in restaurants that were so nice they were full, but with a space reserved for me... All without any work in advance.

(Guess who organises holidays in this house)
(and guess how much hangry walking we've done when dh was in charge)

Keep an eye though if you have wildly different budgets or expectations as to how much dinner will cost. Bad manners to send someone off to arrange it all and then complain about the choices made if the menu/prices are not to your taste.