to tell him to get the fuck off my coat?!

[cjt110]

I work in an office. I have a parker style coat with a hood thats lined with fluff. If I put it on the back of my chair, it falls off, i roll on it etc etc. There are 3 spare chairs in the office area and no coat rail/hooks etc. So as these desks/chairs are unoccupied, I pop my coat on the back of the nearest chair. Office area is shared by me and colleague. Every time he walks past my coat he strokes the fucking hood! Didn't bother me at first but he does it all the time now, and when he's coming back from having a fag (I don't smoke). I am willing to hear IABU but it just makes me so fucking angry that he does it.

I exploded this morning and I said to him this morning when he did it "Look, please stop doing that. It drives me nuts" He said why. "I said because it's the same as you walking up to me every time you walk past and stroking my shoulder!"

AIBU to feel annoyed someone accosts my coat in such a fashion?!

Oh dear....has the coat expressed its annoyance?

I think you're being a bit over the top. He had no idea you don't like it, the fair thing to do would be to ask him nicely to stop.

Seriously? The most firstest world problem I have heard in a long time.

Is a Parker a parka?

YABU, it's a coat not your body! You need a big dose of get the fuck over yourself.

Can you house a mouse trap in the fluff?

Are you otherwise happy at your workplace?

This sounds like "straw that broke the camel's back" territory.

You sound a bit...tense?
You could have just moved your coat around so the hood was facing away from the back of the chair instead of having a tantrum. I'm sure he hasn't been doing it to piss you off.

No yanbu, I'm surprised anyone has said otherwise. Of course he shouldn't stroke your coat if you ask him not to, especially after a fag (smell lingers).

Also, yabu. I can't believe you compared someone touching your jacket to stroking your shoulder as they pass.

Its just such a weird thing for someone to DO! The mind boggles.

He's probably been doing it innocently but after weeks of watching him doing it, it's just made me snap

If a particular person I work with did this, I would be infuriated. The clue is, it's someone I don't like. If it were one of the many people I am really fond of, I'd find it terribly sweet. I suspect you don't like the colleague, which is fair enough. Your colleagues might find your response to him a bit odd, though!

Surely he won't do it any more now you've said?

I'm actually a bit funny about stuff like this too, but i would have done something about it after the first time he stroked it - it's your problem that you have an issue with it just as much as it's his problem that he had a compulsion to touch it.

Have to admit I'd find that annoying- why on earth is he doing it? It's the sort of thing a 4 year old might be unable to resist, but a grown man?

Couple of practical suggestions:

-Move the chair that you put your coat on to a different part of the office behind you, so he doesn't walk past it.

• Get a cheap coat hook from B+Q and hang it behind you (or an over door hook)

-Get him an offcut of fake fur or a stuffed stoat to meet his stroking related needs.

And yep, I am tense right now and said colleague is starting to niggle me with things. Probably straw and camel territory.

I feel bad I told him off but then again, what weirdo strokes someones coat?!

NB> I am just about to start treatment(?) for severe anxiety and depression so this may very well have tainted my view.

It'd piss me off too and I wouldn't do it to anyone else's coat. I used to work in an office and have a 2 litre bottle of water on my desk. A man who worked elsewhere in the building but used to often come in for a chat used to always hold onto the top part of the bottle and sort of use it as a support. Now THAT used to annoy me. I never said anything to him about it though.

He's been doing it for weeks? Then why haven't you either just tucked the hood away into the coat/turned it around/put it elsewhere or said something? Why let it build to such an intense level? I bet he's a bit now. Personally, I don't see the big deal -it's a coat. You probably get more germs/smells on it while travelling or chucking it on random chairs and coat hooks used my many people.

Get him an offcut of fake fur or a stuffed stoat to meet his stroking related needs. This just creates all sorts of bad images on allllll sorts of levels!

I do like this colleague but sometimes, he just takes inane waffle about shit like we all do I'm sure and it gets up my nose. Like he's brought some juggling balls in. Theyre sat on his desk. Then regales me of his son buying them for him for Christmas. Today he's brought some Jacks in and waffled on about them.

Then he'll do things like just then, I sat down after lunch and opened a bag of crisps and he said "What are you doing?" Like I had just opened a packet of fucking arsenic. I said I'm eating a bag of crisps, why? He replied "Oh nothing, just asking" As though he has to make a point about nothing.

Sometimes I do think the things he does as quite childish for a 55 yo man. Like interupting and making stupid jokes. But thats just my opinion. Another colleague similar to my age has said she finds him childish and inappropriate at times too.

Oh, OP, I do hope your treatment helps. would it make any difference at all if I tell you that I have a parka with a hood that has a supersoft fluffy inside and a massive fur edge, and I walk around the office inviting people to give it a squeeze?

*I do work in an office where people have known me 20 years, I only do it with people I'm close to who I know will (a) love my soft coat hood, and (b) find it funny, and ... well, it just works in the particular office vibe we've got. It's also a night shift crew, and the environment is .... well, it's just different!

Oh No whatdoiget ! that's just the sort of thing that would make me twitch too.

MrsSteptoe Some people like their fluffy bits squeezed.... I do not! And if you choose to let random night shifters squeese your fluffy bits - thats your business

I know its totally ridiculously stupid but really hacked me off this morning

I think he likes you OP, and this is his way of expressing it.