Need reasonable expressions of surprise and curse words

[FinallyFreeFromItAll]

I keep finding myself saying "oh my god" as an expression of surprise. I know IABU with this as it even irritates me! I blame too much Americanised TV. However the more I try to change it the dafter all the other options seem to sound.

So AIBU to ask you all to please help me by sharing what word you most commonly use as an expression of surprise?

I'd also be very interested in your "child friendly" curse words. At the moment I'm saying "oh fiddlesticks" but feel slightly daft.

I rather like Good Grief!

It makes me think of a Lord of the Manor. No idea why. I do quite like it though.

So far for cursing I'm shortlisting:
Sugar instead of shit (must admit "sugar honey iced tea" and "sugar plum fairy" made me smile)
Fudge instead of Fuck
Silly billy instead of Wanker
For Pete's sake instead of FFS
Oh darn it
Oh dambusters - seriously cute for a DC to come up with
Bother
Blast
Oh Cr...akers and cheese! - fantastic replacement for crap!

For expression of shock or surprise:
Oh my giddy aunt
Goodness
Sheesh
Well blow me down - because it makes me giggle
Cheese & beans
Blimey
My word
Oh my stars
Oh my days
What the?

I often think I sound like Mary bleedin' Poppins
I'm going to try the above ones out and see which make me feel least like Mary Poppins whilst still being child friendly.

Oh and Lowl - like bog I'd also like to know is being given a cow a good or a bad thing and what are the implications about the giver?

I've been known to exclaim 'oh bum' or 'oh bums and balls'.

This has developed into 'oh Jesus fucking bum'

Thankfully there's no children around to influence with that.

Holy macaroni is my expression Del giorno!

Fizzin thing

Flippin-fizzin-eck

Blimey Charlie

DH doesn't swear at all, never has, so it's just me that uses these silly expressions. My language is far more colourful when speaking to my friends!

Pillock

Rats

Great Hairy Spheroids

Bum

Aye carumba here.

Swiftly adopted after the 6 year old grassed up her father for swearing in the car- Daddy said shit mummy.
My response to it was 'it could be worse sweetheart, he could have said fucking'

My mum used to say "flip me pink"

Should add, i just swear. Dc are used to it.

I'm another swearer.

I say motherfucker. A lot. Mainly in the car.

I still do swear the dc tell me off
Scottish and big fan of the Broons so do jings and crivens a lot. When 12 year old Dd was little I exclaimed jings crivens and the wee voice behind me finished with ma bob.
I also gee whizz quite a lot too.

We use Oh Nickers in this house. When very small it sounded like Oh Niggers from the DTs. We soon changed to Jinkies, Jiminy or poopy pants.

A few years ago sitting in a cafe with friends when my toddler did an almighty sneeze that must have emptied her head. Two huge green columns of snot shot out and attached her nose to her t shirt. It was truly startling and the stunned silence was broken by friends husband with
'Beard of Zeus!' which I liked very much.

Just swear

Some of these are too twee for words.

We use Oh Nickers in this house. When very small it sounded like Oh Niggers from the DTs
Oh my word! That could have been really awful said in public.

'Beard of Zeus!'

Just swear
I can't have another embarrassing episode of DS saying a swear word. He's not quite 4 yet!

Mother. Of. Pearl.

DH doesn't swear at all, never has, so it's just me that uses these silly expressions.

So what does he say??? I really can't understand how you can be raised without swear words or these daft cover ups/sayings in their place.

I tend to favour Jesus, Mary and Joseph or Gordon Bennett, although that one comes from my Hertfordshire born Dad - gets me strange looks in the north and people asking who Gordon Bennett is

Watched an episode of Modern Family today and the phrase 'sweet Lady Gaga' was used, which me and the kids agreed, was excellent.

Oh bottoms, said "oohh b-o-ttoms" you have to really annunciate the b! I get that from my Dad.
Oh for the love of Jehovah comes out sometimes, thankfully the kids have no idea who Jehovah is (though I do then get the Monty Python sketch in my head)
Come along...! For when they are really driving me mad.

I didn't realise I was saying dammit whenever I cocked up at playing football, until the three year old started screeching it to make the grown ups laugh!

I did lose it the other day with "Gods below! You two are driving me mad!" But they weren't listening anyway! too busy trying to see if they could make me have a stroke

Flippety gibbet. I've never written that down and it just looks odd! No idea where I got it from.

I used to find "Rats" or "Drat" quite satisfying.

Such a relief to be able to do proper swearing now they are older.

I work in a school and "Og My God" doesn't sound quite right coming from a small child's lips

Oh my God, even

Shite and onions. (courtesy of James Joyce)

Festoons.