Need reasonable expressions of surprise and curse words

[FinallyFreeFromItAll]

I keep finding myself saying "oh my god" as an expression of surprise. I know IABU with this as it even irritates me! I blame too much Americanised TV. However the more I try to change it the dafter all the other options seem to sound.

So AIBU to ask you all to please help me by sharing what word you most commonly use as an expression of surprise?

I'd also be very interested in your "child friendly" curse words. At the moment I'm saying "oh fiddlesticks" but feel slightly daft.

Since the kids kindly made a swear jar for me, I have attempted to train my usual foul mouth to use one of the following:

F...f...for goodness sake!
Sugar!
Effing this and effing that (instead of the actual F word)

Working on using these innocuous ones:

Oh nuts!
Oh bums!
Crikey!
Man alive!

Love the Gordon Bennett....must start using that one more.

I'm still rather potty mouthed though....there is over £40 in the swear jar.

These are mainly what we call 'minced oaths' (Google away.)

Things like 'gadzooks!' For example. Gadzooks>gods hooks> nails used to crucify Jesus.

Almost all of them are slightly altered actual oaths.

(I am available for pub quizzes and random knowledge based panel shows...)

My cruse of choice was always "Christ on a bike", when I couldn't believe that someonething had happened / someone had done something daft.

It's been amended to "crikey on a bikey" or "Cheese and beans" (thanks to Bill on Postman Pat)

I'm trying not to swear round the dcs which is hard as I'm normally very sweary.

I use fudge, so for fudge sake, what the fudge etc.

Or the good old feck/fecking that my nan always said.

My problem is I keep saying twat when I'm really cross at the dcs for not behaving. I keep saying 'stop twatting about' which isn't something I want them to copy. I'm trying to change it to 'eejit' but it doesn't always work.

Our current favourite, courtesy of Mr Wonka is 'Oh my sainted pants!'

I also like 'Crikey!'

Cheese and rice!

Crud
Crudbuckets
Big hairy bumholes

All in common usage chez Rich. I also substitute 'flip' for 'fuck' a la Maurice Moss, which makes me giggle.

My 7yo has picked up on the flip thing He also often says 'oh darn it!' which I think is adorable.

Shut the Front Door!

Flippin eck

My goodness!
Oh Sugar!
Gosh!
Oh my Golly!
Hells bells (and buckets of blood)
Oh my blessed hat stand!
And ds' favourite which he made up. "Oh Dambusters!"

'Judas Priest!!'

'belgium!' (the rudest word ever in Hitchhikers)

or just 'knickers!'

tinyterrors I say to stop faffing about, or stop ninnying about.

Agree that twatting is...uh...yeah.

I love a good swear but when not appropriate I use:

Crikey
Holy mackerel!
What the chutney?

Daft but quite satisfying and suitable for the faintest of hearts.

Fullocks.

I've stupidly booked a holiday with a friend and our mutual children. She doesn't fucking swear. I'm going to swearing hell because I can't fucking stop. I'm bookmarking this thread and will routinely study up in an effort not to alienate my dear friend with my crudeness.

My DC haven't picked up on my sweariness - they routinely tell me off for saying "crap"

My poor DS, he is prone to saying "Whoopsie Daisys" when he has an accident of any sort. Not cool but definitely "child friendly"

Crivvens!

Oh my giddy aunt!
Cripes
Crikey
Oh my godfathers
Sheesh
Well blow me down

I'm a big fan of "Jesus wept!"

Sweet Baby Jesus and the orphans!
Mother of God...

Friend of mine used to regularly exclaim, 'oh my actual physical god!'

Also OMG! or OMFG!!

Blimey.
Goodness me.
Bother.
Blast.

Oh and DM always says sugar plum fairy instead of shit.

I used to shout 'for the love of god' a lot and then dd2s teacher said that she had exclaimed 'for the god of love' one day.

For some reason it has got changed to 'for the love of Melanie Chisholm' - I have no idea why. But everyone uses it now, poor Mel C.

Oh For FFFFFive Minutes...