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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL and Dogs!

527 replies

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 11:17

NC for this. Not sure if this is more of a WWYD or possibly just a rant!

It's DS's birthday on Friday and we're having a little party in our house on Saturday. There will be about 20 adults and ten children from 1-8.

SIL doesn't have any children, quite often makes a point of saying she doesn't want any, but has two dogs. She text DH last night to see if we needed her to bring anything and DH asked if she could pick a cake up from Costco on the way to save us doing it on Friday. She replied saying that she wouldn't have room in the car for the cake with the dogs being in there.

DH replied asking why the dogs would be in the car and she replied saying that she wouldn't be able to leave them at home for the few hours she is out at the party.

DH ended up calling her up and telling her that the dogs wouldn't be able to come, she then went on to say how the weekend is her time with the dogs and she doesn't want to leave them. She also knows that we've recently had our garden done and so said it would be really nice for them to be able to play outside. He just repeated that the dogs weren't able to come as we are possibly getting a bouncy castle on the day(our friend owns one and can give it to us last minute) if the weather is ok. She accused him of making this up and that he should have made it clear the invite wasn't for the whole family before saying that if her dogs went welcome then she wouldn't be comings do then hung up. DH was just in shock and we couldn't think of anything else to say to her. If she wants to miss her nephews first birthday because she can't leave the dogs for four hours at the most despite leaving them from half seven to half seven every day at work then it's up to her.

She text me earlier to ask if DH had told me what she had said. I replied and said he had and that it was a shame for her to miss the party but the dogs can't come and we had assumed that she would have known that. She replied saying it was a shame that we didn't recognise that the dogs are part of her family. I said that I know she cares about her dogs but this is a child's party and we don't want them here for it. She has just replied with this text

"I feel like you don't realise how important they are to me. They are my family, my babies. I would never not invite DS to my house or say he wasn't welcome or suggest you leave him at home or with a sitter. I'm not going to come on Saturday. I haven't seen DSsince Christmas and was looking forward to it but it's unfair to ask me to give up time with the boys when I get to spend so little time with them as it is."

I am sat here just in disbelief. I don't even know what to say to her.

I know I'm not being unreasonable not inviting the dogs to my house. I just have no idea where to go with this now. DH is in a meeting until one so I can't even call him to tell him what's been said. My jaw is aching from my face just being like this Shock for the last ten minutes! She's always been very precious about the dogs and didn't come to a Christmas Eve thing at our old flat because we didn't have space for the dogs and all the presents were out under the tree etc. But I thought she would be a bit more reasonable about leaving them for a few hours to see DS.

Does anyone have any advice please?!

OP posts:
ChimpyChops · 14/03/2016 15:42

Pooper scooper! :D hahaha!

SocksRock · 14/03/2016 15:42

I love your sister.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 14/03/2016 15:43

Your sister knows your SIL is a weird dog person, doesn't she? The pooper scooper comment is excellent.

Runner05 · 14/03/2016 15:43

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Your sister is ace!

leelu66 · 14/03/2016 15:45

Hey hun

A hun to boot Grin

KatharinaRosalie · 14/03/2016 15:46

She must realise that 'I'm walking my dogs' sounds as batshit excuse as 'No, can't make it, I'm washing my hair'.
The party is just a few hours, plenty of time to exercise the dogs as well.

Ambroxide · 14/03/2016 15:46

Your sister is hilarious.

RoseDog · 14/03/2016 15:48

I love my dog, she is my 3rd child, she loves a kids birthday party buffet she would probably love a bouncy castle but I would never inflict her on anyone else's kids party I am not that much of a crazy dog lady!!

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 14/03/2016 15:50

Grin Grin

Have you phoned your sister yet to fill her in?

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/03/2016 15:51

I luffs your sister.

I almost thoguht your SIL was being gracious with her 'it isn't safe' comment (because she's right, it wouldn't be) but then she went right back to maddo.

TheOptimisticPessimist · 14/03/2016 15:51

'Dear Huns at NetPets

My DB and SIL haven't invited DFBs (dear fur babies) to DHNs (dear human nephew) birthday party.
It's a garden party so as long as they keep all of the attending children out of the way, DFBs will have a lovely time and be no bother at all. All I ask is that they keep any attendees that are scared of dogs in the car or a spare room so that my DFBs can enjoy the party.

AIBU to refuse to attend because of their refusal acknowledge DFBs status as equal to their DHCs (dear human children) and invite them?

Thanks Huns
DFBs Mummy'

MrsDeVere · 14/03/2016 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tartyflette · 14/03/2016 15:56

Gobsmacked. Just gobsmacked. Equating miscarriage with difficulty finding a breeder, then calling her dog her DP's only granchild (!!) is quite unhinged. And incredibly insensitive and self-centred.
What on earth is she going to be like when her pets die? Which of course they will do. i foresee more than a few difficulties in your future relationship with her. You have my sympathies.

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 15:56

SIL

Aw lol thanks. We might pop in on the way back from the walk if the party has died down enough, we'll have to see.

Dsis

I heard a rumour it's going to be an all day rave. Last thing you want is your furbabies surrounded by kids on sugar bouncing around with glow sticks while the DJ plays loud music.

I have text sister to tell her she's amazing and she has responded to let me know how ridiculous SIL is being!

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 14/03/2016 15:59

"I can't think of anything you could put in your garden which would be mildly hazardous to dogs but not to your toddler..... hmmm"

I can - chocolate!

ArmfulOfRoses · 14/03/2016 15:59

I think I would just inform sil that dogs aren't welcome in your house at any point, party or not tbh.

MrsRaegan · 14/03/2016 16:01

She sounds absolutely batshit!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/03/2016 16:02

Your sister is fab. Probably the first time ever someone has shown your SIL up and exposed her sheer batshittery.

Also shes a nasty cow too. Hope she falls face first in dog shit.

HazelBite · 14/03/2016 16:04

I'm loving this thread Grin

But I am horribly reminded how my brother would not come to my youngest sister's wedding because my parents did not want his dog there. D Bro said that he would be quite quiet in the church and would sit under the table at the reception!

Ramanama · 14/03/2016 16:05

There are some advantages of having dogs rather than children (I have both).

  1. You can leave them in the house on their own.
  2. They don't mind if they don't get invited to parties.
almostthirty · 14/03/2016 16:05

Your sister is brilliant!

leelu66 · 14/03/2016 16:05

Also shes a nasty cow too. Hope she falls face first in dog shit.

Aw lol Furbaby shit is cute Hun Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/03/2016 16:11

Right hun, probably pink with silver sparkles and smells like bubblegum Grin

Roussette · 14/03/2016 16:11

OP what's going to happen if for instance your DS is scared of dogs?

She might never come to your house again! I think I would invent this to make that happen

She sounds so so irritating and your MIL is being pathetic in condoning it. I'm just imagining my no nonsense DM's reaction to my DSis getting beyond enamoured with a furbaby (and we were a dog family too but they had their place!)

NeedACleverNN · 14/03/2016 16:11

Your sister is ace though I wish she would say mutts instead of furbabys just to twist the knife a little bit....

Especially if they are a specific breed

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