Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL and Dogs!

527 replies

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 11:17

NC for this. Not sure if this is more of a WWYD or possibly just a rant!

It's DS's birthday on Friday and we're having a little party in our house on Saturday. There will be about 20 adults and ten children from 1-8.

SIL doesn't have any children, quite often makes a point of saying she doesn't want any, but has two dogs. She text DH last night to see if we needed her to bring anything and DH asked if she could pick a cake up from Costco on the way to save us doing it on Friday. She replied saying that she wouldn't have room in the car for the cake with the dogs being in there.

DH replied asking why the dogs would be in the car and she replied saying that she wouldn't be able to leave them at home for the few hours she is out at the party.

DH ended up calling her up and telling her that the dogs wouldn't be able to come, she then went on to say how the weekend is her time with the dogs and she doesn't want to leave them. She also knows that we've recently had our garden done and so said it would be really nice for them to be able to play outside. He just repeated that the dogs weren't able to come as we are possibly getting a bouncy castle on the day(our friend owns one and can give it to us last minute) if the weather is ok. She accused him of making this up and that he should have made it clear the invite wasn't for the whole family before saying that if her dogs went welcome then she wouldn't be comings do then hung up. DH was just in shock and we couldn't think of anything else to say to her. If she wants to miss her nephews first birthday because she can't leave the dogs for four hours at the most despite leaving them from half seven to half seven every day at work then it's up to her.

She text me earlier to ask if DH had told me what she had said. I replied and said he had and that it was a shame for her to miss the party but the dogs can't come and we had assumed that she would have known that. She replied saying it was a shame that we didn't recognise that the dogs are part of her family. I said that I know she cares about her dogs but this is a child's party and we don't want them here for it. She has just replied with this text

"I feel like you don't realise how important they are to me. They are my family, my babies. I would never not invite DS to my house or say he wasn't welcome or suggest you leave him at home or with a sitter. I'm not going to come on Saturday. I haven't seen DSsince Christmas and was looking forward to it but it's unfair to ask me to give up time with the boys when I get to spend so little time with them as it is."

I am sat here just in disbelief. I don't even know what to say to her.

I know I'm not being unreasonable not inviting the dogs to my house. I just have no idea where to go with this now. DH is in a meeting until one so I can't even call him to tell him what's been said. My jaw is aching from my face just being like this Shock for the last ten minutes! She's always been very precious about the dogs and didn't come to a Christmas Eve thing at our old flat because we didn't have space for the dogs and all the presents were out under the tree etc. But I thought she would be a bit more reasonable about leaving them for a few hours to see DS.

Does anyone have any advice please?!

OP posts:
LeanneBattersby · 14/03/2016 15:19

Christ on a bike.

Just send her this

FYI, world pecking order:

  1. people
  2. dogs

Dogs. Are. Not. People.

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 15:22

Grin Christ on a bike!

My sister has commented on the post asking if she's forgot that Saturday is DS's party. I haven't told her any of this so excited to see how it goes! Should really be doing some housework but this is more fun!

OP posts:
Fuzz01 · 14/03/2016 15:22

Shes just making herself sound silly. I would comment and say shame you couldnt attend your nephews birthday party because we can't accomdate your furbabies. Then people can see how silly she is.

scarlets · 14/03/2016 15:23

I love dogs but a boisterous children's party with a bouncy castle ain't the place for 'em.

Only1scoop · 14/03/2016 15:23

Shock and a bit Grin

JamesBlonde1 · 14/03/2016 15:24

The SIL's behaviour at Christmas would have resulted in me not inviting her in the first place. What a nutter! Can't abide people like this. Please tell MIL that her daughter is a fucking idiot and get this out in the open now. Don't resist telling her that your DS is get ONE and ONLY grandchild.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 14/03/2016 15:25

I can't think of anything you could put in your garden which would be mildly hazardous to dogs but not to your toddler..... hmmm

She sounds like a chip off Mil's block though? Who books a photographer for a 1st birthday party or am I totally out of touch?

MrDilly sounds excellent though. Sounds like you can leave it in his capable hands Grin

IDontWantToBuildASnowman · 14/03/2016 15:26

Wow. She really is a petulant child who wants to be centre of attention doesn't she. I would stop all communication about the party. She knows she's invited and the dogs aren't. Let he carry on her little Me Me Me charade and do not give it any attention.

clam · 14/03/2016 15:27

Ooh, ooh! Fab post by your sister - even if she did it unintentionally!
Let us know when the shit hits the fan and SIL sees what she's written. Grin

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/03/2016 15:28

I'm not smiling in utter delight at this new development, honestly.

MadSprocker · 14/03/2016 15:30

Shamelessly marking place.

clam · 14/03/2016 15:32

Actually, this is really about your sil wanting to feel validated within the family in some way. She doesn't want children, but nonetheless feels that she needs something more in order to be important. So the dogs are filling the void.
Fine, but you don't need to get drawn into it. Sounds like her boyfriend agrees she's batshit is on the same page as you.

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 15:32

Her reply to my sister

Hey hun, sadly I can't make it on Saturday. The boys need a lot of exercise at the weekend and they won't get that cooped up in my kitchen lol. It's not safe to take them to the party so we're going for this walk instead. It would have been nice to take them to the party and let them have a bit of a play but it isn't convenient for others.

My sister has replied

Haha no I was being serious! Are you really not coming?xxx

SmileSmileSmile

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 14/03/2016 15:32

This is amazing!

IDontWantToBuildASnowman · 14/03/2016 15:34

I love your sister

honeysucklejasmine · 14/03/2016 15:34

Ooh I really hope there's a good reply to your sister. Loves a bit of unreasonable person drama, I do. Grin

honeysucklejasmine · 14/03/2016 15:35

Oh, cross post!

Your sister is great! Couldn't have said it better if she knew what was going on!

SirChenjin · 14/03/2016 15:35
Grin

It gets better and better!

ChimpyChops · 14/03/2016 15:37

I would be tempted to comment, although I usually hate doing things like that on facebook.
I would just say 'sorry we cannot accommodate your animals at a child's birthday party but have a donation for your charity instead' :)

Obviously YANBU.

zaryiah · 14/03/2016 15:37

Dear god, she is quite mad. Grin

zaryiah · 14/03/2016 15:38

Just seen your sister's reply. She is awesome, so is your husband. Shame about the female outlaws, eh?

JamesBlonde1 · 14/03/2016 15:39

OP don't you dare do any housework. We need updates.

Get a piñata in the shape of a dog and lots of photos of the party on FB for SIL to see.

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 15:40

SIL

Lol. I am being serious Hun. Hopefully we'll be able to see you soon though.

Dsis

Oh right. Enjoy your walk then. We'll be thinking of you and your pooper scooper whilst we enjoy the party!

OP posts:
leelu66 · 14/03/2016 15:40

I have to ask - what kind of dogs/car does she have that she can't fit a cake in too?!

Yeah, Cauliflower I thought the same thing. Won't the dogs be in the back of the car? The cake could have gone in the front seat or on the floor in front of the front seat perhaps?

The fact that she asked what she could do to help, said no to the one thing she could do to help, and then has caused a brouhaha does not endear her to me.

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 15:40

Actually crying at the pooper scooper comment!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread