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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Deranged runners in public spaces....

285 replies

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 19:51

I am genuinely interested in other people's opinions following a really unpleasant experience when out with my two kids and DP yesterday.

So we have membership to a local, but national attraction. It is a very large outdoor type of space which people generally go to to walk, take kids, picnic, and walk dogs. The layout is in two halves so in one side nog dogs are allowed at all and hence the other half is where you find the dogs.

For info no bikes or scooters etc allowed.

We were about half way round the dog walking half and as we had gone late in the day it was very quiet and we could see in front and behind quite far. We have a 6 month old toy breed puppy ( eg very small) who has no aggressive or overtly bothersome behaviours, we are in the process of completing her off lead training, which is why we went late and only let her off in the parts of the attraction where we had good visibility, not wishing to be in any way a nuisance to others.

So all of a sudden a runner emerged AT HIGH SPEED from the trees, not from main path, as he hurtled towards us both DP and I tried to put her back on lead as well as get the kids out of this mans way as it was fairly obvious he was not going to be sensible and actually slow down/ alter his path so that we could all pass sensibly.

As he approached he the. Started shouting at us to put dog back on lead as by this point she had started trunking over to this fast moving object who was shouting and flapping his hand about. At no point did she jump up, bark, growl or do anything whatsoever other than trundle along next to him. The verbal abuse then escalated to the point she this man was swearing and literally screaming at us all the while still trying to run....please note he was not being impeded in his run in any way.....

Eventually my DP by this time rather peed off with all the shouting and swearing in front of our kids shouted back very firmly to him to STOP running so we could put dog back in lead if this is what he wanted.....man went ballistic carried in verbally abusing me/DP and at one point literally launched himself over out dog due to having distracted himself off his own path.....

Whole,episode was really upsetting and both kids by now in tears, dog shaking like a leaf etc.

Now my AIBU is really why do people undertaking timed/ serious sports use public places where to encounter even the possibility of a hold up is going to cause them immense rage/distress/or where they are so 'in the zone' they lose the ability to be a. Rational human being.

It seems to be happening more and more recently, with runners coming at us en masse. In addition to this last incident we have had a few near misses recently where groups of runners have literally forced my young DC off the road....

I appreciate that we all have the right to use the roads, pavements and public spaces but ultimately they are not sports arenas or running tracks, there are designated places for that which I for example wouldn't go to walk the dog or take the kids to play, realising that the two uses do not mix, and often the person coming at you at speed seems to feel that their right to peruse their sporting goals trumps everyone else's right to quiet enjoyment of the public and open spaces.

And just to make it clear the dog was at no point engaging in aggressive, or disruptive behaviour, she was just trundling along faulty bemused by the shouting flapping jumping man!!!!

OP posts:
SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 22:15

But the point here is my dog wasn't out of control. Unless you class being out of control as just being off lead, which is not the definition written in to DDA.

OP posts:
SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 22:16

Ex 😁

OP posts:
MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 13/03/2016 22:19

Well maybe ( mumsnet Classic nobody has said yet) he had SN

SanityAssassin · 13/03/2016 22:20

But you couldn't get a lead on it without asking someone else to stop therefore you were not in control of your dog.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 22:23

'See that rusty old car, that car that is at the scrapyard' it will never date for me

PovertyPain · 13/03/2016 22:23

I walk my old dog on an extendable lead, even in off lead areas, because he is blind and hard of hearing. The weight of the lead makes him feel secure, while giving him freedom. If a runner came thundering towards me like that, I wouldn't be able to get him out of the way in time. Any runner that swore at me/my dog or ran over him, would end up in a ditch.

TheSinkingFeeling · 13/03/2016 22:24

The dog should have been on a lead, but that doesn't excuse some psychopathic twat going apeshit at you.

PovertyPain · 13/03/2016 22:27

This thread is just acting as a magnet for dog haters. It really doesn't matter what you say OP, your giant slobbering beast was out off control and was going to launch dander over to an attack at the poor arrogant arsehole jogger.

Czerny88 · 13/03/2016 22:32

What's with all the trundling? Does your dog have wheels?!

LeanneBattersby · 13/03/2016 22:33

I'm scared of dogs because I was bitten when I was little. I'm scared of any dog that comes running up to me. I can just about walk past a dog that's quite small and on a lead, though I am all the while holding my breath and worried I'm going to get bitten.

It sounds like this man was scared too because your dog didn't come back to you when called. That's all. I'm sure he didn't intend to cause a fuss.

I know it's not popular to say this on here, but I think the rights of humans trump the rights of dogs, always. And no, I don't want counselling to help me get over my fear, and I'm also not prepared to avoid parks forever. When dogs start paying council tax then they will have as much right t be in the park as I do.

Every second person has a dog these days, and the problem is that so many owners are not prepared to put any effort whatsoever into training their dogs, so people do get bitten and chased and jumped on so people's fears are not entirely unfounded.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 22:34

You're right, it is attracting the dog haters.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 13/03/2016 22:36

poverty why would the runner end up in a ditch? Confused

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 13/03/2016 22:38

It seems to be happening more and more recently, with runners coming at us en masse. In addition to this last incident we have had a few near misses recently where groups of runners have literally forced my young DC off the road....

You're correct, you didn't say that runner was coming at you en masse - he was on his own so that's clearly impossible - but you then used your OP to bring up other alleged incidents involving runners. The poster who said the dog is a red herring is right. This isn't about the dog, or about that man's behaviour, it's just a runner-bashing post.

SanityAssassin · 13/03/2016 22:42

Seems to be a lot more runner hating on here than dog hating.

Perfectly OK to take up a whole path and let you untrained mutt run and annoy someone but not OK for them to shout that you move over. Hope you have insurance (but you probably don't)

And whilst they were running in your dog allowed area they probably didn't run there exclusively and were just passing through having travelled much further (but you might need half a brain to realise that)

ghostyslovesheep · 13/03/2016 22:49

Yes Sanity apparently we have to avoid parks and lovely open spaces and stick to main roads breathing in petrol - I don't shit on the grass when I run - unlike a dog and I am always polite and smiley (Because running makes me feel amazing)

I had a lovely run this morning and met some lovely dogs and their walkers - we managed to share the space in a very un English happy 'isn't it amazing this morning' way - but I did spend a lot of time dodging poo bags and poo!

I do not understand at all the slightly ranty poster who thinks we have no right to be in parks - very strange

nmg85 · 13/03/2016 22:50

You are not being unreasonable for being annoyed at how he behaved it was unacceptable to be rude. It also makes me laugh how people expect a puppy to be trained to be off lead without being off the lead... Yes you can practice and practice but if you add distractions in it can go out the window. The guy took you by surprise so you had no chance to get your dog under control from the beginning but your story makes it sound like the situation went on for awhile so next time if the dog won't recall calmly walk over and grab the collar and walk away. I feel you need eyes in the back of your head to avoid I incidents that may offend non dog owners but you can't anticipate someone coming charging out of the bushes. (From a now dog owner who for 27+ years was terrified of dogs!)

SanityAssassin · 13/03/2016 22:57

You train your dog where there are less distractions, in your garden go to classes or book a slot in a field for walking. Don't let it off the lead until you're confident you can recall.

Grew up with a dog and trained mine in my garden before I inflicted its behaviour on others.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 23:01

I just advanced searched to see who posts on dog hating threads.

christinarossetti · 13/03/2016 23:02

I'm scared of dogs and absolutely hate them coming close to me when I'm running, though I get that this is sometimes inevitable when I'm in a park.

The man's behaviour was unacceptable, although I don't class a dog that two adults can't get back on the lead as being 'under control', so this situation would scare and anger me too. You should be able to get your dog back on a lead without insisting that everyone around is perfectly still if you want to let it off lead in public places.

I honestly don't mind owners who apologise and immediate get their dog back next to them/under control/on a lead, although I'm sick to the back teeth of the 'but he's not jumping up/he's being friendly/he wont' hurt you' brigade.

christinarossetti · 13/03/2016 23:03

Must be spring though, if we have a dogs and runners thread!

YolandiFuckinVisser · 13/03/2016 23:07

I'm a runner, also a dog owner. Runners can be fucking arseholes, seem to believe their right to run unimpeded overrides the rights of everybody else. IME most people get out my way when they see me coming and I always thank them for it in a breathless manner on my way past.

Dogs can also be difficult though. I run off-road as much as possible, don't like road running much. As such I run largely in popular dog walking places round here. Most dogs leave me alone or run along with me a bit til their owners call them off. This is fine with me, however I came across a jack Russel last week who was determined to accost me. It was being friendly & I was happy to say hello then attempt to carry on with my run. It pretended to go back to its owner then ran back at me & almost tripped me. This happened 3 times til I grabbed it's collar & handed back to owner. If I was afraid of dogs I couldn't have done this, however small & friendly the dog. The owner couldn't do anything cos the dog was out of control so was it me in the wrong for running where dogs are or him in the wrong for not keeping his tiny terrorist in check?

nmg85 · 13/03/2016 23:11

Having read more of your posts I do worry that you seem to think your dog can approach anyone and as long as they don't act aggressive that is ok. Not everyone likes dogs and as much as possible you need to get your dog to stay away unless invited or allowed to approach. I can now judge 99% of the time when my dog will listen to me and leave the person and when I need to see them approaching and put her on lead. I understand why people on here are getting annoyed as not everyone wants a dog approaching them and to be honest until 2 years ago I was one of them and would of freaked out. Don't become one of the dog owners that makes it hard for everyone else. But I also think people can't expect a dog to always be on lead, seeing dogs running and playing together is a wonderful sight but it should be done away from non dog people and showing respect for others and then we can hope that we get respected as well.

SanityAssassin · 13/03/2016 23:14

I got badly cut by one of those stretchy leads when the (sat on a wall) owner let his dog charge at me then run round me - had to stop running or be tripped. This was on a busy seafront promenade and this idiot was letting his dog run all over it.

I prefer to run off road but then have to wade through the 100M of poo bags left to "be collected later" just off the car park or just the shit on the path. Find runners much more sociably acceptably than do owners these days

lurked101 · 13/03/2016 23:22

I'm the ranty poster who doesn't think runners should be in parks, when they are likely to be busy, if runners can't share the space. No problem if you can share the space, slow down for others/possible risks.

I also think if you are running on the South Bank, over Tower Bridge, along the Embankment by Westminster at peak hours and complain you're a muppet too!

lurked101 · 13/03/2016 23:23

Oh but also, you need to pick up your dog;s turds, thats not on either.