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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Deranged runners in public spaces....

285 replies

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 19:51

I am genuinely interested in other people's opinions following a really unpleasant experience when out with my two kids and DP yesterday.

So we have membership to a local, but national attraction. It is a very large outdoor type of space which people generally go to to walk, take kids, picnic, and walk dogs. The layout is in two halves so in one side nog dogs are allowed at all and hence the other half is where you find the dogs.

For info no bikes or scooters etc allowed.

We were about half way round the dog walking half and as we had gone late in the day it was very quiet and we could see in front and behind quite far. We have a 6 month old toy breed puppy ( eg very small) who has no aggressive or overtly bothersome behaviours, we are in the process of completing her off lead training, which is why we went late and only let her off in the parts of the attraction where we had good visibility, not wishing to be in any way a nuisance to others.

So all of a sudden a runner emerged AT HIGH SPEED from the trees, not from main path, as he hurtled towards us both DP and I tried to put her back on lead as well as get the kids out of this mans way as it was fairly obvious he was not going to be sensible and actually slow down/ alter his path so that we could all pass sensibly.

As he approached he the. Started shouting at us to put dog back on lead as by this point she had started trunking over to this fast moving object who was shouting and flapping his hand about. At no point did she jump up, bark, growl or do anything whatsoever other than trundle along next to him. The verbal abuse then escalated to the point she this man was swearing and literally screaming at us all the while still trying to run....please note he was not being impeded in his run in any way.....

Eventually my DP by this time rather peed off with all the shouting and swearing in front of our kids shouted back very firmly to him to STOP running so we could put dog back in lead if this is what he wanted.....man went ballistic carried in verbally abusing me/DP and at one point literally launched himself over out dog due to having distracted himself off his own path.....

Whole,episode was really upsetting and both kids by now in tears, dog shaking like a leaf etc.

Now my AIBU is really why do people undertaking timed/ serious sports use public places where to encounter even the possibility of a hold up is going to cause them immense rage/distress/or where they are so 'in the zone' they lose the ability to be a. Rational human being.

It seems to be happening more and more recently, with runners coming at us en masse. In addition to this last incident we have had a few near misses recently where groups of runners have literally forced my young DC off the road....

I appreciate that we all have the right to use the roads, pavements and public spaces but ultimately they are not sports arenas or running tracks, there are designated places for that which I for example wouldn't go to walk the dog or take the kids to play, realising that the two uses do not mix, and often the person coming at you at speed seems to feel that their right to peruse their sporting goals trumps everyone else's right to quiet enjoyment of the public and open spaces.

And just to make it clear the dog was at no point engaging in aggressive, or disruptive behaviour, she was just trundling along faulty bemused by the shouting flapping jumping man!!!!

OP posts:
kawliga · 13/03/2016 21:18

this type of ignorance is exactly what get people bitten by dogs

No, twattish dog-owners who have no respect for other people is what gets people bitten by dogs. Sadly, some of those dogs get kicked, put down and in some places poisoned or shot, when it is not the dog's fault.

You are actually creating a world hostile to dogs, by going around smugly thinking that other people should get trained in how to live with your dogs and that if they don't it's ok for the dog to bite them.

Saz12 · 13/03/2016 21:19

The runner was an arse, but that doesn't make all runners arses. I'm (trying) to train for a marathon (in October, so early days yet - I may yet have a personality change), but I've never felt the urge to run into someone from behind, swear at them, spit, or anything else.

Just like most dog owners are perfectly normal well-mannered, non-psycho people, most runners are too.

I would expect (sorry) people to try and let me past them, just as I would move to let someone faster-moving past me. Why would I prevent someone in a rush from getting past me, it would be just plain rude and obnoxious to be deliberately obstructive! I'd be perfectly happy with someone (politely) letting me know they were there so's I'd let them past. I'm an incredibly slow runner, so I seldom have anyone in my way - including little old ladies with zimmer frames....

I'm lucky in that I don't need to run in built up, or busy areas. Maybe if I was faster and had nowhere quieter to run I would become more "assertive" (ahem).

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:20

Kawliga you have called me and others a twat over and over, So you would do well to reflect on the meaning of 'respect'. In my honest opinion the runner WAS deranged, in that he showed no normal, decent behaviour and himself created a wholly unnecessary 'situation' and. Learnt couldn't give a toss about the impact it was having not least on two young kids who didn't needs to hear him effing and blinding. I wouldn't expect to behave
I've that to someone even if they gave me just cause, as I prefer to show respect with my actions a well as words.

OP posts:
Spudlet · 13/03/2016 21:21

If you are likely to encounter animals, it's only sensible to acquire a very basic level of knowledge, surely? I knew nothing about cows, but when I moved to a place where I met them, I learned enough to keep myself safe. You don't have to undergo intensive training in canine behaviour to make yourself aware that flapping about attracts dogs. That doesn't absolve the dog's owner of responsibility, but surely as competent adults we have a certain level of responsibility for our own safety too?

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:21

Kawliga, please do reread my OP and subsequent post, my dog did absolutely nothing that could be construed as aggressive or obstructive. There was no element of irresponsibility, as dog did nothing wrong.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 13/03/2016 21:24

The dog ran up to him and along with him and presumably would not return to you as you couldn't get it on the lead. You really think there's nothing wrong with that?

Foginthehills · 13/03/2016 21:25

It's too easy to trip over a small toy puppy that is not under its owner's control. (Have tbe scars to show for it).

Dogs need to be kept out of other people's way.

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:27

OYSTER until he started screaming flapping etc the dog was minding it own bloody business!!!!!!!!!!! When the screaming etc started up she ran, not that fast it has to be said, and still slower than him, to the general vicinity of the runner, at no point di she touch, bark, growl, obstruct, jump,up up or otherwise interfere with him In any way!!!!!

OP posts:
StillYummy · 13/03/2016 21:28

A horse I was ridding almost kicked a runner in the face because he whizzed up behind it on a bridal path and tried to get round. The horse didn't here him coming and got a bit of a fright, both back legs went up. Thank god he missed! I had a chat with the guy who was pretty shaken, he hadn't thought. The next week he shouted "I'm coming" when he was getting close... Yes I laughed but it worked much better.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 21:29

You did nothing wrong, there are a couple of runners near me that seem furious at sharing the space with dogs and children. They left one dog walker in tears last week after shouting at her. It's as if they are looking for confrontation. Most are great and we all happily co exist but I have seen the situation you are describing.

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:29

Dog I'm sorry but you should not be running in such a way or at such a speed that you are going to be tripping up over dogs ( unless they run literally straight under you feet, in which case you have a point) . You see it's this attitude that I honestly struggle with.........what about small kids, toddlers, should they never be allowed to take a few steps away from their parent in a public park just in case a runner comes up behind and might through virtue of speed and internal distraction, trip over them!!!

OP posts:
StillYummy · 13/03/2016 21:29

Posted too soon! Anyway where I am going with this is some people don't think and unfortunately it causes accidents. I am just happy my person was really nice.

Oysterbabe · 13/03/2016 21:30

You said she trundled along next to him and he had to jump over her?

exLtEveDallas · 13/03/2016 21:30

Dogs need to be kept out of other people's way

Agreed.

And runners need to keep away from areas designated for dogs if they intend to run too fast to be able to stop or change route in order to avoid dogs.

Hamishandthefoxes · 13/03/2016 21:31

I do park run and have had problems before with off lead dogs. Luckily I wasn't bitten but other runners have been. If your dog has no recall, don't let it off lead in a public place.

Hamishandthefoxes · 13/03/2016 21:32

Lt. eve. From the op there are areas where dogs are permitted and areas where they are not. Non dog owners don't have to avoid the dog permitted areas - the onus is on the owner to control their dog even in that space.

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:34

Yes oyster, as I said up thread my DP shouted over at him that if he wanted us to put her on lead ( not not there was in fact any need, see above, but we were rather sick of the verbal abuse by this stage) then he would need to stop at which point, and bearing in mind he was still swearing etc, lost his course and nearly fell,on top of her, please note agin SHE was running in an straight line he was not, and please note also and for the last time that she was paying him absolutely no attention whatever until he commenced his bizarre behaviour

OP posts:
LaPharisienne · 13/03/2016 21:35

Foginthehills I'd bet that people trip over tree roots more often than they trip over dogs. Or litter, or other people, or their own feet.

When a person enters a public space, they accept they have to share it. This includes dogs, within reason. Small dogs skipping around are not a threat to any sensible person unless demonstrably aggressive to other people or dogs.

I can't believe this thread - there really are some miserable people in the world.

TheSinkingFeeling · 13/03/2016 21:36

Your DH should have twatted him

lurked101 · 13/03/2016 21:37

Anyone who jogs in a public place at a time where there are likely to be crowds is a twat. End of.

Any of you who run on the South Bank on a weekend at peak tourist hours. Twat.

Any of you who jog in parks when there are likely to be lots of people with kids, dogs, buggies. Twats.

End of, sorry. Jogging can be undertaken anywhere, quiet streets, the quieter parks, you can go use a treadmil, you can use designated running tracks.

Anyone abusing other people because they are "in the zone" is a twat, if you want to do anything at a competitive level don't expect everyone else to get out of your way.

I've been forced off paths, forced to pull my aged relatives back, shouted at and sworn at by joggers.

Oh and I know GPs that reckon that doing it long term is really bad for, how do you like that?

SoHereItIs2016 · 13/03/2016 21:37

Sinking he as tempted.......!

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 13/03/2016 21:37

He shouldn't have to stop so you can put your dog on a lead. He obviously behaved like a dick but at the same time you were unable to control your dog. I conclude 50/50

TheSkiingGardener · 13/03/2016 21:38

Dogs need to be trained to return to the lead and to leave other people alone

Children need to be trained to be aware of those around them and to not cause obstructions where possible

Adults need to be trained that if you are moving faster than everything else around you, you have to go round them in order not to impede their progress. That means runners. I don't care about you getting your personal best, you don't get to be a nob and order everyone out of your way

YANBU OP. He was a nob.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 21:39

lurked Grin particularly 'how do you like that'

exLtEveDallas · 13/03/2016 21:40

I agree Hamish, so why did the runner choose to run in the area populated by dogs instead of the area where he knew none would be?

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