Midwife with cold hands.

[MouldyPeach]

I had dd3 at home on Tuesday, I had a sudden and unassisted birth so by time the midwives got there she was already over an hour old.
When it came time to do the newborn checks the hands of the midwife who did it were *freezing. dd was screeching and I took her off the mw and asked that she warned her hands up. My dp also pointed out that her hands were white compared to the rest of her arms which she got quite huffy about.

Was I U to have stopped the examination and ask her to warm her hands? AIBU to expect mw's and others doing skin-touching examinations to not have hands to rival Elsa fromFrozen??

I hated midwives after dd was born.

She was 5 weeks early so didn't need to go out boy scbu but did need to stay in with me for longer and have some extra blood tests etc.

I really really hated them trying to squeeze blood out of an already bruised and tiny foot while she was screaming and felt completely helpless and useless as a mother, that I couldn't 'protect' her from them.

But somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind that weren't affected by pnd I knew they were just trying to help her and to do their jobs.

So I didn't say anything. Though I'm sure I had a face like thunder whenever the poor buggers had to come in for more blood

As for the comparison to not having to wash my baby in a puddle..
The baby wasn't washed in a puddle.

Oops forgot the point of the whole post!

I understand the overwhelming protective and sometimes unreasonable urges that can happen shortly after having a baby.

But midwives are there to help, and yours may have had a good reason for having cold hands. It was unreasonable to say anything to her I think.

Really? She's doing newborn checks to make sure your child is well and healthy and your concern is over the temperature of her hands?

did you see the photo of the refugee washing her newborn in a puddle? Cold hands are the least of that.

^^ This!! You really must have absolutely nothing better to worry about

quietbatperson but it was ok for op and her husband to be cruel to a woman who potentially ( and sounds pretty likely) has a medical condition who was helping her?
The only one that was possibly ott was the bitchy one, the rest were fine in mho.
I get fed up of posters saying unneeded things about people with (or potentially) invisible health problems.
Op has had a baby, but that doesn't mean everyone is going to agree with her, or say it's acceptable that her and her husband have been really cruel to someone who has only come to check on their newborn

Do midwives generally wear gloves when handling a newborn? I've never noticed when I've given birth..

YANBU. I had the odd midwife examine me with icicle hands and because I'm an adult I tried not to flinch and show my discomfort but a few apologised even without me indicating anything was uncomfortable, so obviously they disn't think it was perfectly ressonanle to make me uncomfortable. I think if you are doing a hands on exam of a person (or baby) it's not unreasonable to make sure your hands are at least room temp first.

My midwives all handled my newborns very gently and I remember them stopping what they were doing to cuddle the babies when they got hysterical at the lights, touch etc. No way any of them wouldn't have warmed their hands!

Ubik1

This must have been uncomfortable for the newborn in this picture. I think it's worth remembering how fortunate we are.

Indeed Ubiq. OP, I hope you've seen Ubiq's pic and are thankful that you had a midwife come to your warm house to help with your baby, free of charge.

I'm sorry that the paleness of her hands made your DH unhappy.

YANBU.

Bitch probably did it on purpose. I bet she was sitting in the car holding ice cubes and cackling madly.

I know too much about PTSD . quiet

However, this is the first time I've learned of it transferring to another person. (husband)

No, in this case op was precious and her husband rude.

I wonder when having a baby/children, started to trump all other emotions and good manners?

I'm a doctor, examine people all day long and still have freezing hands most of the time.
No raynaud's, I'm just quite sensitive to cold.
I try to warm them up and apologise my hands are cold but not a lot I can do short of wearing gloves all the time.
I understand you thinking what you did but you were BU to say it.
Your husband has no excuse and if you saw her again it would be polite to apologise I think.
However you have a gorgeous new baby and I hope things are going well for you all.

it's not unreasonable to make sure your hands are at least room temp first.

What if someone has a medical condition meaning getting their hands to room temp is a very long/painful/almost impossible process?

I don't think it was at all unreasonable to ask the midwife to warm her hands before touching your newborn baby. Unless she needed to examine the baby urgently and there wasn't time.

If you and your DH was rude in your approach then out that down to the stress of the moment.