Midwife with cold hands.

[MouldyPeach]

I had dd3 at home on Tuesday, I had a sudden and unassisted birth so by time the midwives got there she was already over an hour old.
When it came time to do the newborn checks the hands of the midwife who did it were *freezing. dd was screeching and I took her off the mw and asked that she warned her hands up. My dp also pointed out that her hands were white compared to the rest of her arms which she got quite huffy about.

Was I U to have stopped the examination and ask her to warm her hands? AIBU to expect mw's and others doing skin-touching examinations to not have hands to rival Elsa fromFrozen??

I'm assuming a medical condition caused her hands to be so cold.

If so, I doubt rubbing them together would do much good.

Plus, the whole thing was hurried. Poor midwife probably wanted to check you DD over as quickly as possible.

Like I said, why on earth focus on the negative?

oh you are both very silly sausages op. better make sure you dont leave the house in case a breeze wafts across Jesus's face and causes some mild fade scrunching......

I hope you see her again so you can apologise.

*face

I hope you and baby are both ok - I imagine it must have been quite a scary birth and I tend to think women are somewhat entitled to be unreasonable post-natally

However, I have severe Raynauds as part of another condition and it's dangerous and actually incredibly painful (the worst part is warming hands up to temperatures other people find acceptable). If it was a rush job and her priority was to carry out checks to make sure you and baby were OK, I can imagine her thinking that touching people with cold hands was the lesser of two evils.

Your DH however was incredibly rude and there are no excuses for him. My fingers look like candle wax when cold and turn purple when warming up. It amazes me how people think they can pass rude comments, if I have to take glove off in shops etc.

Please also remember that I have DC of my own and although they're older now, perhaps you could spare a thought for those of us who aren't lucky enough to just put our hands on our DC unthinkingly. I still had to touch and pick up my own DC and it's very hurtful if people flinch or recoil when you touch them.

So I hope both you and your DC are well and healthy. Perhaps you could be reflecting on how lucky you are rather than being unkind to people assisting you who might not be so lucky.

Oh and by the way, you might think references to "Frozen" are witty and original. They're not.

You are being completely unreasonable.

I'd hate to have someone's cold hands grabbing me.

I don't think asking someone to warm their freezing hands before touching another person is all that unreasonable.

King if you have Raynauds it can take quite some time to warm hands, doing it quickly makes it more painful. I would imagine people in a "touching" job take the time to do it before touching people but if this was a rush job, it might not have been possible.

My toes literally never seem to be warm and always hurt. I would love to live in a hot country

Then you are clearly as rude as the OP and her husband KingJoffrey.

Here's what I don't get about threads like this: four days after the fact, no harm came to your child, living with a new born and you still find time to complain about this 'problem'? Why? You have a healthy, happy child. Why is this even still a thought?!

I'm not rude, I just really wouldn't want to be touched with cold hands...

I'd hate to have someone's cold hands grabbing me.

I wouldn't be keen either but it would be preferable to having Raynaud's. My aforementioned colleague hand's looked like they belonged on a corpse when she first came in from the cold. She used to warn patients, they all loved her.

No, it's not rude to not like it, it is rude to mention it, especially to the extent the OP'S husband did!

I think people who don't suffer from Raynauds just don't understand the condition. Before I developed it I knew what it was but I didn't really understand the impact it has. I'm fed up with people (often complete strangers) passing comment and offering pointless advice. All the stuff people our spouting on here I've heard before. "Just rub your hands together for a bit". "Just wear gloves". Or my personal favourite from my GP..."just don't let your hands get cold". Marvellous, that's me sorted then, problem solved.

But wearing good warm clothing and thermal socks and gloves does help.

I examine babies for a living - I also have Raynauds. I spend a long time washing my hands in warm water to try and keep them an acceptable temperature. In the absence of an emergency, I would expect others to do the same. I agree that a cup of tea also works well

Dd2 screamed for two hours flat after coming out. Wish I'd known if only the mw had warmed her hands she would have been fine

I have raynauds... and am a midwife However before doing a baby check, I would wash my hands (did you have warm water? I know I don't always here at home ) and put on gloves. I am surprised that she would examine an unbathed new baby without gloves. It seems a shame that this is your lingering feelings over the birth Are there other issues? An hour was a long time to wait for assistance, when did you ring them? Did you consider calling an ambulance? Do you live in a very remote area?

I am just wondering if other concerns about the birth are really to blame for your annoyance

I think this might actually win the Precious Parents Award 2016.

Ofcourse you shouldn't worry yourself about upsetting the mw op!
I mean she only came to check on you and your baby but still...
All the comments, my god just rub your hands together... Well lucky you you don't have a medical condition!
It really is no wonder that people no longer want to work in these fields really is it?

quietbatperson pile on? Maybe the majority think the op and her husband were outrageously rude to
A woman coming out to a sudden birth who sounds like she has a medical condition?
Maybe people should remember tat people do have illnesses that others can't see.

It's hardly a pasting just because the majority disagree with her.

I agree that post birth your hormones can make you a little bit sensitive. However that doesn't mean people have to agree with her. Her and her partner were pretty rude towards someone who potentially has a medical condition that she can't help. Hopefully the midwife in question is used to new mum's being a tad unreasonable post birth and it just washed over her.