to think this might be a child protection/safe guarding issue?

[thickgit]

There's a nursery close by to me. Today, they were playing outside. I very clearly saw male nursery worker laying on his back on the ground, leaning up a bit on his elbows. One girl was laying on her front, on him. Another girl was laying on him, more on his chest.
It looked inappropriate to me so I immediately called nursery and told manager to go outside and see. She was more interested in knowing who I was.

I called back ten minutes later to give her my number. She wanted my name. I wouldn't give it. She was very defensive about the scenario and just wanted to know if I would feel the same if it was a woman. I explained that I've worked in nurseries and would not let children lay on me like this. She said other workers were out there, so she had no issue with it.
What are your thoughts?

[TooOldForGlitter]

I know it's gone all cuddly and sweet and dumb here lately but fuck my days what a beauty of a thread. Some of you people want to take a long hard look at yourselves. It's your fathers, your hubby bubbys, your brothers that you are pissing on when you collude with threads like these. Think??

[Pigeonpost]

It was lovely and warm in the sun here (far south west) today. OP you still haven't explained why this was a perceived problem because the worker was A Man and why it would have been (to you) an entirely different situation if it had been A Woman.

[thickgit]

As ridemesideways said

Nope. I personally would not want my nursery-aged DD lying on top of a carer's penis, to put it bluntly. YWNBU.

And as I've said, it's not, in my opinion, appropriate to have children laying on top of you in this setting, whether you are a man or a woman.

I reiterate: It's about protecting children AND protecting workers.

[Pipbin]

So it is about penises then.

[ridemesideways]

And to clarify - I would not want to find my nursery-aged DD relaxing on top of a female carer's body like this, either.

There's rough and tumble / piling on / cuddles / hugs, and then there's what the OP described, which was somewhat different.

A child spending time relaxing face down on an adult's upturned body is inappropriate. It's what you see lovers doing in the park.

If I was that employee, I would have hugged and rolled.

[ridemesideways]

It's intimate - actually OP - perhaps it was the employee's own child? Would explain the outraged reaction from the manager?

[thickgit]

Okay, seeing as I'm clearly already being controversial, let me ask. . .

If you saw a man bouncing a child, at a nursery, on his lap, would this raise concerns? And I don't mean on his knees. If you saw a woman doing the same. . . Would you see it in exactly the same way
The same question if you saw a girl, on a guy's lap facing him with legs either side and close to body, comparing to if it was a woman
I am genuinely interested. Although I will be flamed, I would definitely be more uncomfortable if it was a man. . . Yes, with a penis, dare I even mention the word

[YouTheCat]

But it wasn't woman bouncing on a man's lap. The scenarios you present are totally different.

[Pontytidy]

I think the same standards should apply to both, surely that is equality

[YouTheCat]

And also, the man in your OP wasn't bouncing a child on his lap in that manner anyway so it's utterly irrelevant. You're trying to see wrongdoing where there is none.

[thickgit]

It was a girl, who, in the position that they were in, was lying on a man's penis. It's not my job to say that there is anything untoward there. Dress it up how you like, it wasn't fleeting and was unmistakable. Yes, lots of people present. And?

[maydancer]

My DH is a gymnastics coach and small girls and boys (but particularly girls) hang on his arms, cuddle his legs, drape themselves over him if he sits down given half the chance.it is a struggle sometimes to remove them without appearing churlish.But this is what young children are like - very affectionate, with zero encouragement-in fact even with strong discouragement!!

[TheBouquets]

There are plenty of people who have managed to get through CRB checks simply because they have not been caught. There are ones who get through because families have failed to report things because they don't want it made public that some relative of theirs would not pass a CRB. I know because one such person is known to me. Another person, an associate of the previous person must also have passed a CRB because that person was a youth organisation leader and a church official. The second person has got out of jail after serving a sentence for what is called inappropriate internet images of children. The first person is a big church goer and a bible thumper. They currently work in a CRB necessary position and even after the association with the kiddie abuser they are still there.

Not everyone who holds a CRB is an angel!

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

Of course not. You can't guarantee human nature. And you can't open up someone's brain and tell what they are thinking - you can only go on evidence. It's wise to be aware but not to be paranoid!

[thickgit]

I was presenting different scenarios where the child would be in contact with a clothed penis.
Equality. . . I know that I'm being politically incorrect, but most of you have me down as a nosey, bored crazy woman so I'm not so bother about pointing out that he had a penis and it was in contact, though clothed, with a child. Quite simply, that could have been avoided. That wouldn't make the nursery a cold or unfriendly environment. . . It would just be a worker giving a little more thought to what he, or she, is doing.
Another scenario. Let's say a nursery child was repeatedly patting a workers breasts. Common sense would tell me it would be sensible if she re directed that play discretely. However, same child patting male workers chest, in my opinion, different.

[Fatmomma99]

sometimes I wish I had a penis...

[thickgit]

It wouldn't have been difficult for him to sit or stand up.

[SueLawleyandNicholasWitchell]

? Of course it's different!

[maydancer]

How do you think the children were being harmed?

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

If you saw a man bouncing a child, at a nursery, on his lap, would this raise concerns? And I don't mean on his knees. If you saw a woman doing the same. . . Would you see it in exactly the same way The same question if you saw a girl, on a guy's lap facing him with legs either side and close to body, comparing to if it was a woman

Not sure why either of these are relevant as they're not what you describe in the OP

This bit is particularly different...

If you saw a man bouncing a child, at a nursery, on his lap, would this raise concerns? And I don't mean on his knees

Are you asking if people would consider blatantly sexual behaviour as a safeguarding concern? if you don't mean on the knees, you mean they're either using their hips to bounce the child or their hands.

[YouTheCat]

I get a lot of chest patting/poking/ punching it doesn't bother me. It's not sexual. I also get a whole lot of belly prodding and 'oooh your tummy's squashy' does wonders for my self-esteem that does

If it was a repeated action though, yes, I would redirect. But the scene you painted wasn't about a repeated action.

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

It wouldn't have been difficult for him to sit or stand up

Bloody would if he had a child lay down on top of him.

[TheBouquets]

I am a grown woman and I would not like to be in direct contact, even though covered with normal clothing with the penis of a man that I was not married to or in a relationship with.

[ElderlyKoreanLady]

I am a grown woman and I would not like to be in direct contact, even though covered with normal clothing with the penis of a man that I was not married to or in a relationship with.

As a grown woman, you're aware of the penis. A child is just aware that there's a grown up lay on the floor that they can play with.

[thickgit]

Repeated and prolonged I think are the same thing. A couple of times, or fleeting is different
The bouncing on lap scenario was me trying to demonstrate that I think we would mostly find this inappropriate. So why is laying on top of him not?