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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is my husband correct

233 replies

Catvsworld · 10/03/2016 22:00

We are currently get ting our kitchen done and choose a IKEA kitchen witch have tall deep units lovey

We brought the legs that go with the kitchen units however the builder had said they weren't very sturdy and brought standard legs with make the units about 5cm higher than the standard

My husband is making be feel awful and feel quite bullied by him o can't sit all day and watch the builder I have 3 children and in any case I no nothing about building work the first day when he set the leg on husband came home said there a it high then said no more more work was then done work tops now on sink in and yesterday he complained at me I

Then said do you want me to say somthing to the builder he kept changing his mind then said no

Now today's he's telling me we waisted 5 grand most likely devalued our home and now most of the works been completed there's not much that can be done
Really gets me the Kitchen has had the high legs for a few days and he should of said then

He keeps saying its looks strange because the dishwasher and washing machine don't sit flush under the work top
It looks a little night but tbh it's a good hight for me cooking and chopping ect

Apart from stressing me out what's the blinking point of saying now I am sure even as late as yesterday I could of said somthing to the builder but he told me not to and I no he's just going to keep moaning about it for years to come

I did say when we come to sell witch won't be for at least 10 years we can replace the kitchen as most of the cost this time was knocking out a wall and re jigging the way the kitchen was set up

Have we waisted the money is this a awful mistake

Please note were about half way through the build everything else is fine

OP posts:
NightWanderer · 11/03/2016 09:50

I wonder what on earth the builder was thinking. Surely the kick boards are also supposed to be the same blue, but the Ikea ones won't fit. Is he planning on using ones that don't match? He's just made so much work for himself for no good reason.

I think you need to have a chat with him. Find out what he's planning and if you are at all worried then just ask him to replace the legs.

You haven't done anything wrong here. If there is a problem then ask the builder to fix it. Be firm!

ExConstance · 11/03/2016 09:51

You seem to be very afraid of the builder! WE had our kitchen done last year and had a little chat and exchanged texts with the builder/plasterer and fitters each evening. They expect feedback as they go along and don't get offended if there are some areas of differing views.

LittleBearPad · 11/03/2016 09:54

Depends if any future buyer is a shortarse like me. I wouldn't want an overly tall kitchen.

If you aren't going to lower the worktop (which would be best) then don't put the white goods on a plinth. Total pain to take out and the washing machine will vibrate everywhere.

Leave them on the floor and get him to fill the gap above with a drawer or something so it looks intentional.

2016IsANewYearforMe · 11/03/2016 09:55

I've only read the OP.

You've been bullied by two men, the builder and your DH.

The kitchen fitting isn't great. The builder needs to sort it out, now.
Your DH should not be nagging and whining at you. He should be talking directly to the builder.

I try to leave my backwards ways behind me, but in this case the phrases, "man up," and "hiding behind a woman's skirts," come to mind.

Belindabelle · 11/03/2016 09:57

Do not put your washing machine on a plinth. It will move about during the spin cycle and could damage the dishwasher.

LittleBearPad · 11/03/2016 10:02

You've been bullied by two men, the builder and your DH.

This is certainly true. But you can tell the builder what you want to be done. You are paying him.

Extraordinary that he decided ikea didn't know what they were doing. They sell quite a few kitchens...

m0therofdragons · 11/03/2016 10:03

My concern would be more that I'm only 5'4" and I think 5cm higher than standard would make cutting and cooking on the hob uncomfortable. I'd get it changed asap

ScoutsMam · 11/03/2016 10:03

Trying to see from the photos, does the counter (which is very lovely) cover the washer or is the washer sticking out?

If I was putting new legs on the units because I thought the other ones were unsturdy I'd have got some in the same size for you. If there's enough overhang with the counter you could maybe box the washer and that in behind fitted cupboards. It wouldn't fit in a bog standard carcass but if the counter is big enough from the photos it looks like it could be done.

Tell your husband to GTF. If he doesn't like something he's to say so. You're not a bloody kitchen fitter, what does he expect you to do? Supervise the guy and your kids?

Lweji · 11/03/2016 10:04

I've just realised that your first photo is upside down! It was driving me mad.

The position of the two ovens (microwave?) look odd. Either the ceiling is too low or the unit on top is too big and the bottom too small. Is that how you ordered it?

Enb76 · 11/03/2016 10:05

I have my worktops set higher than most peoples because I'm tall and I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and like to be comfortable. Those gaps are a) very good when it comes time to replace appliances and b) very useful storage. It looks awful now because it isn't finished but actually, if the builder fits some slide draws to the underside it would cut down the gap and give you ideal storage space that you wouldn't otherwise have.

Don't know why your husband is going off at you, he sounds like a twat.

landrover · 11/03/2016 10:07

Ha Lweji, I stopped looking at that pic as I didn't get it!!! (doh!)

PigletJohn · 11/03/2016 10:10

Legs are adjustable so can be put to whatever height you want, even after they have been screwed to the cabinets.

I have no comment on the interpersonal relationships.

ScoutsMam · 11/03/2016 10:11

Thanks Lweji that makes sense now!

I'd want the top part blocking in, like a kickboard above it. It'll be a dust trap otherwise.

I've fitted kitchens and although it's a very well paying job its like a colour by numbers the way everything fits together now, like lego instructions. He should be able to move the counter. I can see you're still to get some plastering done so that should cover any dings.

Is he an IKEA guy or a private hire?

MiniCooperLover · 11/03/2016 10:20

I think your builder knows he's bodged it badly and is willing to change the sockets rather than risk damaging the worktop by lowering the legs and then the worktop.

Catvsworld · 11/03/2016 10:25

Hi ladies up date builder came round first thing

And he had a look at the switches I had the building regs to hand
He admitted it was a fault of the sparkeys part and that he would lower the work top by 4cm

It will still be a touch tall but much less then what it was thank god
I just needed the confidence to go and have a word he was a bit pissed of at the amount of work involved however he was very nice and wanted to find a soulation the eletriction actually did me a favour as I don't think he would of lowered it otherwise

So it means he dosent have to get into a argument with the sparkey and arrange a time for him to come back suppose it seemed easier for him to just lower the work top

Few happy husband now but I have said in the future any building works will have to be done in HIS Hoilday as I don't have the nerve to supervise the children in a building site try and cook on a camping stove , manage with out water and project manage builders as well as do the school run

I will post another pic when he's finished hopefully today as the larder cupboards don't need lowering

OP posts:
SweetAdeline · 11/03/2016 10:27

That's great news Cat.

ScoutsMam · 11/03/2016 10:29

Good news there. Glad you're onto a solution.

pengymum · 11/03/2016 10:35

Don't put washing machine on a plinth! You'll have problems with noise and if you need to move it it will need some serious strength to lift it on & off plinth! Also if any leaks, an mdf plinth will soften & rot.
Your builder has cocked up. He needs to sort it. It should be easier to refit correct legs & refit worktop than move all sockets and put appliances on plinths.

Catvsworld · 11/03/2016 10:35

Hubby's working from home today I have told him not to even go in the kitchen don't want him getting to to anything with the builder espically as he's doing the work now

Let you all know how it's turned out later it's 5 units so we shall see

OP posts:
Oldraver · 11/03/2016 10:36

Well that sounds like a good resolve.

I know for some higher worktops would be a bonus but it also means a wall mounted oven will be higher, and unless you are very tall it could prove awkward..

MiniCooperLover · 11/03/2016 10:36

Well done Catvsworld, you'll be so happy you stood your ground I'm sure, if you're anything like me it would always annoy you a bit knowing it could have been changed

NightWanderer · 11/03/2016 10:37

That's great news! I still wonder about the kick boards though. They are still going to be 1cm too short. Will be interested in your next update.

Catvsworld · 11/03/2016 10:37

poster pengymum

I thinks he's realised that when I came back from school run he'd made a plan to lower the work tops

OP posts:
nauticant · 11/03/2016 10:39

That sounds like an excellent solution OP. Well done!

Is there any way in which the builder can adjust the high horse on which your arse of a husband sits?

Justforthisfred · 11/03/2016 10:41

I'm sorry you're having all this hassle. I need to get my kitchen done, but I'm not over the trauma of having the bathroom done 18 months ago. Absolute nightmare.

Whatever you do, do NOT put your washing machine on anything other than your floor. Get the worktop lowered or get something out in the gap, but do NOT put your washing machine on any kind of raised up platform. They move far too much and it will become a complete nightmare.

If it was me I'd be them all lowered to standard height, or lower as I'm a short arse! But if the height suits you then just sort the gap out above the machines. Whatever you do is at THE BUILDERS cost.

Your husband: I would tell him that he is being utterly ridiculous, it will not devalue the house and secondly that if he keeps treating you like this he will be able to find out how it has affected the price very soon during the divorce settlement. He doesn't have the balls to deal with the builder himself but he's happy to bully you? Wimpy wanker.