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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take the day off work sick

32 replies

Ipushedmygrannyaffabus · 08/03/2016 00:50

I'm 14 weeks pregnant, serious heart condition, and still feeling permanently nauseous. I,ve been really quite sick this weekend. I had today booked off anyway but I really don't feel up to going to work tomorrow and am considering taking the day off sick, tbh the idea of making it through the day withiut vomiting seems impossible. DP is ranting that "I'll lose my job" and "I can't just take time off whenever I want" (I had two days off earlier in pregnancy when I was hospitalised due to the vomiting). I feel absolutely diabolical. One day sick really isn't being unreasonable, is it???

OP posts:
Original poster
Ipushedmygrannyaffabus · 08/03/2016 00:51

Incidentally, obviously there is employment laws in place, and no I WONT lose my job over it. I know it doesn't look great, neither if us are 'take time off sick' people but I'm at my wits end!

OP posts:
Houseworkavoider · 08/03/2016 00:55

If you are unwell then you need to call in sick.
HG is no joke. I hope you feel better soon!

Donge13 · 08/03/2016 00:57

Take as many days off as you need op.
Hope you feel better soon

VimFuego101 · 08/03/2016 01:00

Just take the day off and rest. Your DP doesn't sound very supportive.

GooseberryRoolz · 08/03/2016 01:20

Your relationship can't be very good for your health OP.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/03/2016 01:31

But you're not taking time off as and when you feel like. You're taking time off because you're not well. Not to go beach for the day. I must agree with other posters. Your DP doesn't sound like he goes over board with his support.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 08/03/2016 02:29

I was signed off for two months with hg. It's utterly debilitating and horrendous, take the time off you need. Your partner is an arse I will happily tell him if you want

Pinkheart5915 · 08/03/2016 02:33

Have you informed your work place that you are pregnant? If you haven't I would you will find them a lot more understanding if they know the full story.

If you really don't feel up to work take the day off sick, you need to listen to your body.
If the sickness etc you feel doesn't improve go and see the GP they may be able to get you a sick note so you can have a while rest.

honeyiwashedmyhair · 08/03/2016 03:46

YANBU, just take the day off and rest Thanks

Mombino · 08/03/2016 04:20

YANBU. "Can't just take time off whenever you want"??? As if you 'want' to feel so shit. Is your DP always such an arse?

IdaJones · 08/03/2016 04:48

If you felt this ill due to a sick bug it would be appropriate to take time off. I'm not sure why your dh thinks you should soldier on just because it's pregnancy hormones causing it.

Original poster
Ipushedmygrannyaffabus · 08/03/2016 07:48

Thank you for the back up. After a whole night lyin with a basin beside me fighting the urge to vomit, i feel fit for nothing. Yes, he is a complete arse about what he sees as 'minor' illnesses, he has no idea of how soul destroyingly relentless HG is.

OP posts:
FigMango1 · 08/03/2016 07:53

Yanbu, you are genuinely Ill and need to rest up properly. Your dp is being very unsupportive.

80sMum · 08/03/2016 07:54

Go back to your GP. He or she may well decide that you are unfit for work for at least the next couple of weeks in your present state. See

BIWI · 08/03/2016 07:56

You need to stamp all over your DH's attitude very quickly. Don't even think about being a martyr and trying to soldier on. Take the day sick, make sure your work knows you're pregnant, and contact your GP as PPs have said.

treaclesoda · 08/03/2016 08:00

I'd be more worried about your partner's attitude towards someone who is obviously sick than about your employer's attitude. And I've worked in places with zero tolerance to sickness, no matter if it is genuine, so I do understand the worry about that aspect.

BadDoGooder · 08/03/2016 08:07

OP I ended up signed off sick for almost the entire pg with hg, it's truly horrible isn't it?
I'm so sorry your DP is such an arse about it. Flowers
Go to the GP, and explain how ill you feel, you'd be surprised how many women get hg, and how sympathetic GPs can be about it.
I ended up in hospital 5 times during my pregnancy, I don't think I kept anything down except isotonic drinks, cola and yoghurt for 7 months!!

BadDoGooder · 08/03/2016 08:09

Oh and second pps saying you need to talk to DP about it.
Is he always so dismissive/angry, or is it just now?

maybebabybee · 08/03/2016 08:25

Your DP sounds like a total arse. I didn't have HG (luckily) and I still felt like shit in early pregnancy.

Take the day off and do not feel bad about it. As you have rightly pointed out, they could not sack you for pregnancy related illness even if they wanted to.

TheAngelofNitshillRoad · 08/03/2016 08:30

Pregnancy-related sickness absence doesn't even count towards your normal sickness absence record. If they decided to put you on absence management at a later date, they'd have to discount pregnancy related absence from that altogether.

Kirjava · 08/03/2016 08:34

Take the time you need. I've just been signed off for 3 weeks for antenatal depression and I've told myself not to feel remotely guilty. Pregnancy can be horrendously difficult. Hope you feel better soon.

ShrimpieFlintshire · 08/03/2016 08:48

Do work officially know about your pregnancy, OP? Preg-related illness is counted up separately and can't be held against you. There is a reason for this - ie things like HG do go on for a long time, impacting your ability to work.

HG is truly horrific, and people with no experience often just don't have any idea what it's like. That doesn't mean they need to be so unsupportive. Your DP needs to wisen up. If he felt like he had a stomach bug/hangover/travel sickness combined for weeks on end he'd be a lot more understanding.

Take the day off. And just aim some puke into DP's shoes as a little gift.

MartinaJ · 08/03/2016 08:55

I will probably join in your DP-bashing-brigade and strongly question his shitty attitude.
What will happen when the baby is born? Lack of sleep, lack of me-time, dealing with hormones? If this is his attitude now, he won't become a great guy afterwards, rather the other way round.
It's normal to take a day off when you feel sick while pregnant. I was lucky to avoid the bad sickness but I was so tired I could barely walk constantly and my back was killing me. If my DP had tried to dissuade me from calling sick when I felt like a herd of elephants ran over me I'd have probably chewed his head off and spat it out into a bin.

PerspicaciaTick · 08/03/2016 09:18

I'd recommend repeatedly using your husband's lap instead of a sick bowl. Let him share the joy of pregnancy.

Whatdoidohelp · 08/03/2016 09:37

He sound alike a prize prat!

Your protected at work when pregnant so he is talking fucking rubbish. Get yourself to your GP and get some anti sickness drugs. They work. Good luck.