To ask what is the most sneakiest, underhanded thing you have ever done and why?

[Bellatrixurstrange]

I threw a load of DD4 and DD9's toys away earlier in the month as they have faaaaar too much stuff and I was de-cluttering.After swimming, DD9 asked where X, y and z toy were and I said I had no idea. I do. At the charity shop. Oops. Feeling guilty now. Has anyone else ever been sneaky or told a white lie or been underhanded and then felt abit shit afterwards?

There's a door that slams in our office. It drives a person who works upstairs bonkers, they prop it open.

I may remove the prop from time to time and let it slam a few times before going back to my office.

When I was with an ex who was a student, he shared a house with some other girls. There was one complete bitch who was the ringleader and just liked to cause trouble (although the others were almost as bad). When my ex moved out of the house him and I left them a few leaving gifts. We put ants in the butter and poked around in the bin with their cutlery and put it back in the drawer and smeared a few bogeys on their dinner plates. They absolutely deserved it after all of the shit they put us through!

When I was 9 I went home with a boy's PE top by mistake. We had to take our kits home to wash and I must have shoved Ashley's top in my bag without noticing. The next day I realised I'd forgotten to bring into school and watched in guilty horror as Ashley was rollocked by the teacher for not having it, she called him all the names under the sun. Acceptable in 1970. I forgot it again the next day, Ashley through his tears assured the teacher he'd searched high and low, he wasn't allowed to attend PE. The third day, I remembered, I shoved it in his kit bag and guiltily looked on as he endured another scolding for not searching his bag. God I felt so shabby.

Lulu your post has reminded me about signing a "friend" up for catalogues for Tena Lady & all sorts of gardening/collectable/wearable stuff, & also Love Honey emails

she had tried to nick my husband, so fair game

I squirted ketchup all over the sheets, I added a small dollop of marmite too, then made the bed properly. I called a taxi and moved all my stuff, i wish i was a fly on the wall!

I once house shared with some very bitchy girls for a time. When I moved out early one morning, before they were up, I took all I owned. Including the extension lead for the fridge freezer. I'd arranged for all my post to be automatically forwarded, which, because they'd left me to deal with the bills, included a very nice council tax rebate.

Our NDN moved in a new bloke who could slam doors so loudly in the early hours that it shook my bed. He'd happily sleep in.
When I left home at 7.30 am in afraid I would be a bit heavy handed with our doors, the garage door slammed and id reverse off my drive under his bedroom window and suddenly need to go back for something, leaving engine running and iron maiden at full blast. Took about four days to sink in but he got there in the end.

Thankfully she dumped him and peace has been restored.

My best friend's boyfriend of two years asked her if she would water his lants and look after his children's fish while he took the children away on holiday- just him and his kids and how he would miss her. She duely did so, only to discover a booking for 4 people in the name of him and ex-wife and two children.
She sewed prawns into the underside of the curtains lining the day before he was due back(the curtains hung over a radiator) hid them in the pockets of his jackets and trousers and shirts in the wardrobe and in his underwear drawer, put them ontop of kitchen cupboards, in the tumble dryer, in his coats in the coat cupboard, under his bed, inside the duvet cover and pillowcases and airing cupboard, behind the toilet cistern, just everywhere she could think of.
It took him weeks and weeks to find them all. When she told me I was in awe at her creativity. He was a bastard mind- it wasn't the first time he had cheated on her.

My ex DP was EA, FA and had become DV towards me and a bit towards DS. One day he told me he was going on an all expenses paid holiday on his own, only days later.

It turned out he'd known for ages, but deliberately didn't give me enough time to get off work, and the invite had been extended to me and DS too.

So, in the 2 weeks he was gone, I managed to find a new place from me and DS in another town, packed up and moved out, leaving all his shite behind and no effort to clean up any mess that wasn't mine (basically it was all his - he treated the place like a personal tip). I called the letting agents and told them because I was in fear for mine and my son's lives (not strictly true, but he was making us miserable and he did threaten to kill me a couple of times though he was too much of a coward to do it) I was leaving immediately and demanded the tenancy be put 100% in his name and that I would not be liable for any fees for leaving early and that I got 50% of the deposit back. Not wanting to risk anything, they agreed, which helped a little but didn't make up for the £1000s of debt he'd run up in my name.

My parents helped me take everything I'd paid for, which was pretty much everything. I left him his rubbish, broken computers, broken car (I bought myself a new one), a crappy uncomfortable leather sofa he adored that I let DS 'decorate' with biro, and, as I took the bed, I dragged in the old mattress he had left out in the garden for months, promising to call the council to remove it. It was gross, damp, mildewy and mouldy and I got my Dad to drag it back upstairs to the bedroom for him.

I then didn't tell him where we'd moved to for nearly a year (he was still around for a bit, but then left the country again for 6 months).

Currently the most underhand thing I'm doing is that I've stopped defending his indefensible actions to DS who is now old enough to make his own mind up and pretty much hates him now. But that makes me a supermegabitch apparently.

When I was 17 I found out my closest friend was sleeping with my boyfriend.

This "friend" was very particular about her hair, had it cut every 6 weeks 'too keep it looking healthy' and used a conditioning treatment once a week.

I put hair remover cream in the bottle of conditioning treatment. It was only left on for 3/4 minutes so didn't burn her but was enough to have her hair snap off. Very idiotic of me, it could have done long term damage, but watching her be so baffled and then upset at her hair falling out was worth it

Imnotaslimjim: I think we have a winner!

Is it wrong that I've actually bookmarked this thread for ideas in case anyone ever crosses me?

My step father was awful. Was drinking heavily and just being a general bastard to my DM. She would beg him to stop drinking, and he would say ok, and then start again. She felt he was taking the piss, so decided to give him some.

Right in his whiskey bottle.

Woah there Cutecat! There's throwing toys out and then there's snogging an in law! Not on the same level... I want to know more! lol

took the batteries out of my exes alarm clock so he would be late for work
when he replaced them, I changed the time so he was an hour late for work
he was rubbish at waking up

Put prawns into the duvet covers knowing he would take MONTHS to wash them.
He was rubbish at washing bedding.

Sprinkled coffee granules into the massive box of washing powder. Just because I felt like it.

Scratched a partners car because he kept disappearing for Friday and Saturday nights (I was a sport widow).

I probably needed therapy but now I just bitch and whinge to their faces if I am not happy.

My ex partner was a real cocklodger and I finally kicked him out. He moved away after repeatedly threatening to have our dd taken from me. He was a bit of a bully.

He took me to family court and tried to gain custody. After that failed, he applied for a contact order. I was bullied into agreeing to transport dd for half the journeys to and from contact. I wasn't even receiving any child support and it was a real struggle for me. I didn't consider it to be fair because he was the one who'd moved away.

He again applied for custody a few years later, so I decided that I'd make an attempt at stopping my side of the transportation. I went to see my GP and managed to get some medication which had a driving warning on. I didn't take them, I just wanted them on my medical record in case the court checked.

I went into court and explained I wasn't very well and that I couldn't drive due to taking this medication. The judge fell for it and no more transportation responsibilities for me

The cocklodger had to do all the driving (it was a significant distance)

In my 20s I had a job I hated and was being bullied by my immediate boss. It all came to a head one day and I resigned on the spot. I told them I'd stay until lunchtime, which gave me enough time to enter a couple of dozen fake invoices onto the computer system. I heard that the girl who took over my job found the next few months reconciliations a bit of a pain in the arse!

A really nasty girl at school bullied me so bad and she kept getting her friends to beat me up and organise fights outside school. One day she got a girl to punch me in the face when the teachers back was turned. I ran out of the class room, all the way to my nans house and told her I was threatened by this girl with a knife. She was excluded. I never could admit to my nan she didn't actually threaten me with a knife, however I needed rid of this girl.

I found out my ex was cheating on me with his secretary (original I know) so I bought several boxes of live locusts from the local pets at home and released them in his house after removing all my stuff. I believe he ended up having the house fumigated. I ended up with the nickname "plagues of egypt". #sorrynotsorry

I left notes taped to the cistern in the bathroom next to the exam hall in my second year of uni.

Yes I used them.
Yes I got a first for that module!

Why? Drink, drugs and fun seemed more appealing than revision. FWIW, having to do that scared me into working properly for the final year.

Have namechanged for this... even though it's pretty lame!

I set up a fake library account in a fake name to borrow books on. I work for the library

Basically, we had a power-hungry boss (PHB) and a disproportionately ambitious assistant (DAA) under them. I had reserved a book that was coming out soon and had been waiting patiently for it to arrive into stock. A couple of people were on the reservation list after me. DAA stomped over one day and informed me that my reservation had been cancelled as I was abusing my position as a staff member to reserve books before customers and I had to wait until nobody was waiting for the book.

I tried to explain that I was just waiting my turn in the list, I wasn't the first person to order it, I had just happened to realise it was being published soon and checked the catalogue to see if it was available, just like any other customer could do. Tough says DAA, PHB has ruled that staff may not make reservations for books ahead of customers. If I wanted the book so badly, I could go and buy it. This was within a few weeks of being told I was losing my job and had no choice but to apply for a lower grade position at a pay cut of £3000 a year.

What DAA didn't seem to twig was that I, along with many other staff had (a) had enough of her belittling the frontline staff while brownnosing to the PHB to get ahead in her own career, and (b) I had access to all the blank library cards and could invent a whole persona of fake records as there were no ID checks carried out anymore - another stirling idea of PHB.

I could have created 30 different records had I wanted to and kept every copy of that damn book out of the system for over a year. But I restrained myself to creating one, which I now use to order all manner of fabulous reading material. And the best part is, nobody I work with can judge me on my choice of reading! I do occasionally use my real record, just to keep it looking honest.

Oh, and that damn book? That I wasn't allowed to borrow because 'real' customers were waiting for it? I read it over the course of a weekend, so I could have had it back to the next person on the list within three days.

The worst workplace story I've heard was staffroom crockery going missing. No one had any idea where it all was, until the sanitary disposal service were in and heard a 'chink chink' from the extremely heavy sanitary bins. A disgruntled employee had recently left - thought to be the culprit.
Someone was going to wash the crockery and reinstate it..... ugh!

Not me but a pilot was playing away from home. His girlfriend found out and sprinkled grass seed on his new white carpets in his loft ( think a big one) . She then sprinkled the carpets with water and turned up the heating. And left. Pilot was on a 10 day trip .. He came back to a beautiful lawn in his flat.

More! More! I want more!

None from me. To dull good