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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what is the most sneakiest, underhanded thing you have ever done and why?

199 replies

Bellatrixurstrange · 07/03/2016 22:14

I threw a load of DD4 and DD9's toys away earlier in the month as they have faaaaar too much stuff and I was de-cluttering.After swimming, DD9 asked where X, y and z toy were and I said I had no idea. I do. At the charity shop. Oops. Feeling guilty now. Has anyone else ever been sneaky or told a white lie or been underhanded and then felt abit shit afterwards?

OP posts:
sneakyfecker · 07/03/2016 23:28

The most underhanded thing I've done is also the most mindless, I still feel awful about it and I have no idea what possessed me. I was 17, It was a friends birthday party and We were in a taxi on the way home, blind drunk. The boot was full of gifts, balloons and other party paraphernalia, all the footwells were rammed with gift bags too. I don't know what came over me in my drunken state but I reached into one of the bags, helped myself to one of the gifts and managed to sneak it out of the taxi with me at my stop.

I hid it in a cupboard in my room, couldn't bare to look at it for months (it was a box of chocolates) and eventually threw them away uneaten. Never admitted it to my friend, couldn't look her in the eye afterwards, knowing what i'd done. She never found out about it, she definitely would have confronted me otherwise. Not that that makes it okay.

That was a long time ago and I still hate myself for it.

fusionconfusion · 07/03/2016 23:28

As an undergrad, I snuck into the lab at university after hours because I knew that the lecturer had accidentally left old results for a set assignment from the previous cohort there. I cheated on the assignment by using the figures.

I have never told a SINGLE LIVING SOUL that. I still feel soooooo guilty though I didn't even ace the assignment as I did most of it myself.

molyholy · 07/03/2016 23:30

Cutecat snogged your bil!!!!!!! Gross Shock

Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 07/03/2016 23:30

Oh! The toys clear outs! In one of my sessions, I chucked a manky squishy lizard thing (likely a grandparent special from the charity shop!) not realising the boys had one each. A few days later DS2 was playing with his lizard (never having shown much interest in it before!) and DS1 asked if I'd seen his as they wanted to play together. I felt sick as I knew Lizard was on his way to land fill. Feigned innocence and promised to have a look for it 'later.' Still feel guilty about that one, many years later - 'boys' are 21 and 18 now!

Toy quarantine is genius!

molyholy · 07/03/2016 23:32

I got ran over in a hit and run, off my tits outside wigan pier and broke my wrist. I told my mum I tripped up. I think I was 16 at the time. I am now nearly 40 and I still feel guilty about it.

Bellatrixurstrange · 07/03/2016 23:34

21 and 18!! Bloody hope my guilt fizzles out way before mine are that age! Confused

OP posts:
hardheadedwoman · 07/03/2016 23:35

I threw out 20 bin bags of DH's newspapers that he hoarded in the loft. Left a few there so it wasn't entirely empty.

He never even noticed!

Rainbunny · 07/03/2016 23:36

Sorry, this one is very, very long... so if you have the time, read on... I

got a colleague fired... and he thoroughly deserved it!

He cjoined our company while we were working on a very large project (think a 3 year engineering project). He was slotted to work under me on my team but he kicked up a fuss and demanded to be hired at an equal level to me. Fair enough, his cv was very impressive and we needed an expert in his "area". Within weeks it was obvious he had BS'd his way into the position, he was in way over his true skill level and I learned unofficially from people at his previous company that he had quit just in time to avoid being fired. You cannot imagine the size of this guy's ego though! He genuinely thought he was brilliant and everything he screwed up was someone else's fault - in fact I found out he was blaming me for some of his messes, in areas I had zero involvement in! That's when I realised this man had to go...

We have excellent project management tracking software and good programming records, so it became clear that he was deleting records of bad code that he had submitted to make it harder to trace the origin of bugs appearing in code he was ultimately responsible for. Despite all this he still BS'd brilliantly to upper management and conveniently created some friction with another colleague to give him an active complaint to lodge with HR making it very difficult to try firing him.

Our team was miserable because of his terrible work performance and the active problems he was causing in our work product, causing delays. I was very stressed and seriously thinking of looking for a new job, so I logged onto LinkedIn and casually checked BS man's profile (curious about all the professional BS contained in his profile). I quickly noticed that he had a fully updated profile (he was obviously job hunting - he was at least smart enough to know that he wasn't going to last much longer at our company) and in his career achievements etc.. at our company he totally lied about being responsible for senior elements of the project that he wasn't senior enough to work on and most importantly he revealed proprietary information about our project - a massive 100% fireable offense. I took a screen shot just in case and the next morning I went straight to our boss and told him what I'd seen. BS man (I assume) was alerted by the notification of me viewing his profile and when our boss checked it the next morning the BS lies and proprietary info had disappeared - then I showed him my screenshot and he was gone by lunchtime.

This was years ago now and our industry isn't that big, I still hear about him every now and then, still bouncing around from company to company. His name rhymes with "train" so in our team he is referred to as the "Blain-wreck"* still...

*Not his actual name.

Nope, still don't feel bad at all. That man was awful, he lied and got colleagues into trouble to cover himself with hesitation because his ego wouldn't allow him to admit that he couldn't perform the tasks at the level he thought. I laugh about it now but it was probably one of the most stressful times in my career.

LightDrizzle · 07/03/2016 23:36

I used to buy sweets, hide them from my daughter, and eat them in secret.

I once dreamed I'd murdered my ex-husband and buried him and nobody knew, but the burden of guilt was overwhelming. I was relieved when I woke up that I hadn't actually killed him, even though he is an utter cunt.

Cutecat78 · 07/03/2016 23:38

Not gross but vvvvvvvvv wrong.

Bellatrixurstrange · 07/03/2016 23:38

Cutecat - snogged your BIL? Was he a bit of a dish then? Grin

OP posts:
Ed1tY0urPr0f1le · 07/03/2016 23:38

Don't worry, Bellatrix, it'll only come back occasionally when you see a mumsnet thread on the topic Grin

MonsterClaws · 07/03/2016 23:42

The toy thing I do all the time, to dh too with clothes and toys! I have also called clients of a business I worked for and told them about legal stuff pending after I found out what abusive thieving horrors the bosses were. I spent three days solid doing this to give you an idea of the number of people I spoke to. Whilst young I hooked up with every boyfriend of the girl who bullied me for years - they were all rather nice but I wAs awful, she had been too...
I twice failed to leave my boyfriend for men who had a) left his lovely and wonderful girlfriend for me and b) who left his uni course in the fall out. I was hit by an ex as a teen so augmented my black eye and bruising with eyeliner and went to see his big brother who subsequently battered him. To be fair the bruises needed no improvement really. I stole a dog from my neighbours who never walked it and kept it outside in the rain and wind whilst it cried and gave it to a lovely friend who lived miles away- that dog has fun now. I left my fiancé for another man and had previously left a man I just bought a house with. I also have written multiple uni assignments for money, written a fair few references for the same and have head butted. Mugger. I sound awful but work in the charity sector ( not as an irritant) and am a really lovely person, honest.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/03/2016 23:42

I'm v boring so nowt much! Although when I was little I used to draw bras and eye patches/blacked out teeth/the full pirate shebang on the page 3 model in all the newspapers at my parents place of work. Grin

Cutecat78 · 07/03/2016 23:43

Yes - but am still with his brother and he is still with his wife.

We were very drunk (no excuse) and it was a few years ago but I cringe every tine I think about it.

MonsterClaws · 07/03/2016 23:49

Well cute cat your bil must be way fitter than mine;)

Rainbunny · 07/03/2016 23:52

Wow Monster! You certainly sound like... well, a force of nature! :)

You actually just reminded me that I met me DH whilst still unhappily married to my first husband. We lived 3,000 mile apart for years and saw each other maybe twice a year. We weren't getting along at all and after 3 years of the long distance thing, I got very drunk at a halloween party and snogged a pirate. I felt awful the next day but incredibly excited and kept wondering to myself why I wasn't married to the pirate, instead of my miserable long distance "d"h? The only reason we were long distance was entirely because my "d"h only cared about my lower income earning ability if I moved to where he was living, that was more important than us actually being together.

Nothing more happened except that I got fed up enough after another 2 years and divorced my husband. A month later I contacted the pirate and we've been married for 5 years :)

penguinplease · 07/03/2016 23:53

I once deleted an ex girlfriend off my then boyfriends fb friends list because her very presence in his social media life pissed me off.
Childish I know!

Broken1Girl · 07/03/2016 23:53

That was always the up side of being a quiet, well behaved girl, the teacher always believed you! Oh, yes Grin I was a butter wouldn't melt, quiet, eager to please, straight-As kid. I rarely offended obviously, but when I did, teachers went easy on me. I once wrote graffiti spreading an offensive rumour about a lad in my year who I hated and when asked, swore blind it wasn't me and was believed. The little scrote deserved it.

Redroses11 · 07/03/2016 23:58

I've never been underhanded.

Redroses11 · 08/03/2016 00:00

LightDrizzle your post made me chuckle.

MonsterClaws · 08/03/2016 00:00

Rain bunny your pirate sounds fine and me I am honestly quite quiet and sweet though have thought of loads of other stuff since posting but some would out me. Think I just don't do guilt;)
Your first dh sounds awful! Good riddance/)

strandedabroad · 08/03/2016 00:20

When I was a teenager I started going out with a friend, who then slept with someone else. We broke up and decided to stay friends as we'd known each other for years. I played it cool but was very hurt. A couple of years later I had a new BF and this ex contacted me to say he wanted to visit me. Not too sure if he wanted to rekindle/sleep with me or what, I told my then BF and we pretty much ambushed my ex. I was all smiles and went to give him a hug, while my BF swept in and punched him in the face. Broke his nose. Very small town so everyone knew the day after. Luckily my ex decided not to press charges. He said he would have done the same.

A few years later, I keyed another BF's car - all panels, all around, when I found out he'd been having an affair. He even phoned me to have a moan that his neighbourhood was shit and stuff like that shouldn't happen to your car - the cheek!

Wasn't I nice :-/

Fatmomma99 · 08/03/2016 00:41

Shock at Cutecat78

My (nasty) BF got a new suit he was proud of, and was preening about how everyone would fancy him in it, so when he snogged me, I put my cigarette against the shoulder and burnt a hole.

Feel no guit - he was an arse!

unlucky83 · 08/03/2016 00:45

BF was useless with money. Paid a reasonable amount but crap with money.
I had to lend him money towards his rent one month ...worse a hard up friend who owed me a small sum saw BF and gave it to him to give to me and he got pissed and spent it...
(Also discovered what a scummy individual he actually was - full of self pity, no sense of responsibility, even tried to avoid paying maintenance for his child from a previous relationship he'd left as it 'wasn't fair' he had to Angry)
I'd had enough and told another 'friend' all about it and was discussing the best way to finish it and hopefully still get my money back.
'Friend' told him all about it and consoled him Hmm. He hadn't called me for couple of days -I thought because of the money and told 'friend' I was actually relieved, just glad to to be well shut
...and then found out the truth from someone else.
To say I was pissed off was an understatement - it was the lying I was mad about...and the fact that she knew how crap he was.
(But actually it was more complicated, she'd just been badly cheated on etc - to an extent I felt sorry for her)

'Friend' owned a flat and he very quickly moved in (typical cock lodger)
I thought I would try and get the money back on principle, he was arguing that he didn't owe me the money my other friend had given him, she did, as she shouldn't have given it to him when he was drinking etc..Angry
He eventually said he pay me back in instalments -and sent me a forward dated cheque for £10...with a cover letter saying how much he agreed he owed.
I knew he would be reluctant to just move (no rent) and I'd seen sense and just wanted nothing to do with either of them any more -definitely not months of receiving £10 cheques -assuming he did ever send any more
So I sent the cheque back and thanked him for putting it writing, I'd sold the debt (he knew I knew some dodgy people and I could have done) and to expect a visit from the nice people who now owned the debt shortly...
Then I got pleasure from picturing him sneaking around and jumping when the doorbell rang for the next few weeks...
(don't know how long their relationship lasted - I'd guess for as long as she was keeping him/putting up with his self pity)

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