To ask what is the most sneakiest, underhanded thing you have ever done and why?

[Bellatrixurstrange]

I threw a load of DD4 and DD9's toys away earlier in the month as they have faaaaar too much stuff and I was de-cluttering.After swimming, DD9 asked where X, y and z toy were and I said I had no idea. I do. At the charity shop. Oops. Feeling guilty now. Has anyone else ever been sneaky or told a white lie or been underhanded and then felt abit shit afterwards?

I'll set the scene properly, as I do this regularly.

Part 1 - Our neighbours are crazy, rude, bitter, nasty arseholes. Most recently, Mrs Crazy Nasty Arsehole was screaming over the fence that she is going to curse me and my family with some (yes I quote) "black magic curses". Riiiiighto then.

Part 2 - I hate hate hate huntsmans. In case you are wondering what that is and why they absolutely terrify me, here's one of the hairy buggers in action. m.youtube.com/watch?v=q6Lz4bYEDY4

DP doesn't mind the hairy huntsman. He won't kill one - instead gets the cup and paper and relocates these terrifying arachnids outside...

Except he shoved them over the neighbours side of the fence. Every. Single. Time. 😂😂😂 #sneakybeatsnasty

I moved into a new build flat after splitting with my ex. At first I was the only person in the building, it was blissfully quiet! Then after a few weeks, two lads moved into the flat above mine. They loved to go out clubbing, and the music would start playing at about 5pm on a Saturday afternoon as they were getting ready. I didn't mind too much, as it would go off at about 9pm when they went out. What I did mind was the hoards of people they would bring back with them at 4am, and the music would go back on, and the slamming doors and shrieking people running up and down the stairs into the very early hours. My flat was the ground floor, and the cupboard which housed everyone's electricity meter was right outside my flat door. I worked out which meter was theirs and after a few weeks of constant weekend parties, I went into the cupboard and turned their electricity off at the master fuse switch on the meter, while they were out clubbing. I then slept blissfully that night, imagining their confusion when they came back home and nothing worked! Their flat was dark and silent for a good few days the first time I did it, so I think it took them a while to figure out what the problem was...

My ex-DH had been given leave to look after me as I had broken my arm and we had two very small dds. After a week he suddenly announced he had to go back to work as it was an "emergency". He worked out of the country and I thought it was most odd but he insisted.
After he bid me, my two dds and my arm clad from shoulder to wrist in plaster farewell I phoned his boss to complain. She informed me he had certainly NOT been called back to work. The plot thickened. I managed to get into his email and found two flights to London for him and Ms Other Woman and a hotel reservation!!!!
Shocked was not the word. So I rang the hotel and cancelled it. Then cancelled his credit/debit cards and reported his mobile phone stolen. Hope he had a fabulous time.
When he came home he found all his belongings in bags in the garden.

We laugh about it now, well I do.

I am in awe of the quick thinking and cool heads demonstrated by the stories on this thread.

Colleagues and I sort of helped to get someone fired - although like pp, he got himself to the edge of the cliff and it took only a mouse's cough to send him over.

Office "junior" although he was not junior age started and rubbed everyone up the wrong way. At first people gave him the benefit of the doubt as it was his first office job, and we gave him hints and tips and help to improve.

But he accepted none of it. Pretty much every other week he'd be in with HR about another thing - personal hygiene, chain of command, distracting people, use of resources etc etc.

Anyway during this period I was having a pretty shitty time, including needing some time off for a very unexpected family funeral hundreds of miles away. He spent the best part of half a day not working but just kind of hanging out near my desk trying to work out why I was going to be off (unique function so involved complicated cover) and asking increasingly personal and tactless questions.

I went to HR and said I had had absolutely enough of any social interaction with him, and that I was no longer prepared to talk to him about anything that wasn't directly work-related as he was making my position intolerable. HR took it extremely seriously and he never spoke to me again. He left very shortly thereafter as his probation ended and he was not kept on.

I do feel bad about it because he was probably just inept, but he was worse than just annoying and refused to change anything at all about how he was working to meet the business needs.

And selfishly he completely put me off a name I'd have loved to use for a son, by being called it. Arsehole name spoiler.

Brilliant Jessica! What a shit. Presumably you still have to have contact because of the DCs?

I got fed up of the school bully.
Remember the chairs with the metal legs? I used a couple to work out how many times I had to bend the leg so the next time any weight was put on it, it snapped. It was 6 times.

The next lesson, I bent one of her chair legs. She sit down and her chair collapsed.
I did this every week, for months. Then did 2 legs, then finally all 4 legs.

It didnt stop her bullying, but it did make me feel better.

I once took a new boyfriend back to my room in a shared house.

He was totally shocked at the shit tip he assumed I had been burgled and persuaded me to call the police.

I was so ashamed I went along with it and he held my hand while they came round and I reported the "burglary".

Shockingly the culprits were never caught.

That was 23 years ago and it still makes me sweat now.

I had a summer job in a warehouse when I was studying for my English degree. The supervisor was a total creep, openly letching at me and the other female temps, calling into his office where porn mags would be open on the table, scratching his nads in front of us ... you get the picture.

The canteen was a long walk away from the warehouse and by the time we got there, were served lunch and got back from our short lunch break, we were sometimes a minute or two late. The supervisor wrote a warning containing atrocious spelling and grammar and pinned it on the notice board, saying that he intended to deduct money for lateness from our pay. We were receiving the princely sum of £3 per hour!

Incredulous, I took a red pen and did a stylistic analysis of his writing. I confided in a couple of the other temps and we had a good chuckle. I decided I should probably take the notice down before he saw what I'd done, but as I rounded the corner, I saw him clutching it, going ballistic. Obviously I wasn't going to fess up and he insisted that everyone in the warehouse take a handwriting test so he could identify the culprit.

The workers revolted, claiming it was against their human rights - one even threatened to get the trade union involved! Nobody else ever found out it was me, but it was the talk of the warehouse for weeks afterwards. The consensus was: Whoever did it, good on them - he needed taking down a peg or two!

I took great satisfaction once in deleting a huge pile of discharge letters a colleague had recorded on his dictaphone. He had been horrible to me. He deserved it. He shouldn't have left it lying around in the office. He never found out it was me!

great thread OP - me and DH have been laughing reading these

cutecat Your story reminds me of a shared house I used to live in many moons ago. I was in my first year at university and my six male housemates were complete slobs - think eating an apple and throwing its core behind the settee, leaving it to rot. I'm tidy by nature and had completely lost all respect for them.

Over Easter, they all went home to their parent's houses, so I had the place to myself. My boyfriend, who was sick of living in halls decided to move in with me for the fortnight. He'd already arranged for his friend to come up and stay with him, so I ended up saying that the friend could stay in my shared house too. At first I'd been embarrassed what said friend would think about me living in such a shit tip, but he was such a scruff that honest to god, when he crouched down outside Tesco to tie his shoe laces, someone gave him money, because they thought he was homeless!

Anyway, I digress ... one night we got drunk and decided to have a play fight, cue shaving foam and upturned boxes everywhere - there was even a meat cleaver sticking out of one of the walls! I was past caring about my housemates by this point ... The following morning we came downstairs from where we had been sleeping on the third floor and realised we had been burgled! The thief obviously hadn't ventured further than the ground floor, because all that had been taken was the stereo and some CDs.

We called the police and they turned up, surveyed the house and said, "oh my god, they've trashed the place!" We simply nodded and put on our victim faces.

Is don't feel too guilty about mine now I've read these. I hated a woman at work, she was an egotistical twat. Talking all day about how big her house was or how perfect her life was and we didn't care haha. She used to leave her coffee cup in kitchen now and again after hours with a bit of bleach in to clean it out. I always would empty it and refill it with clean water so it never cleaned probably overnight. She probably thought her bleach wasn't working I'd refill it as she finished early and she came in later so she was none the wiser mwahahahah. God I'm a bitch.

*OneDayOnly" Was this in 2009 and was a case of wine involved?

I'm amazed at posters who say they can't recall doing anything underhand - you must all be saints!

I can think of dozens of things, most of which I could never bring myself to admit on a public forum. I will however, confess to:

"Accidentally" copying ex's brother into an email thread in which he admitted cheating on me with men from Gaydar - prior to that, the brother thought the sun shone out of his arse and that I was to blame for the breakup.

Logging into vile colleague's ebay account (he'd revealed his username and password while on the phone to a family member in our open plan office) and filling his watch list with women's shoes and underwear.

Smearing strawberry jam all over the handle of my bitch-face housemate's bedroom door and leaving a rancid concoction of boiled rice and coffee granules in one of her boots on the day I moved out. Mature, I know. My other housemate got the blame! Thankfully he and I are still good friends 15 years on and were laughing about this only yesterday.

Another one - when I was a teenager, me and my friend used to call the phone box opposite my house when someone was walking by and if they stopped to answer it, one of us would growl: "Big Brother is watching you. " The looks on their faces ...

I had a shitty relationship with a man who lied about everything and anything. When it ended, I registered him for every single brochure and free rubbish thing I could find to be delivered to him, joined him to book clubs where he had to return the books in the post etc. I bumped into him months later and he asked me if I wanted to see what he had done to his house.In the hall there were piles and piles- 4ft high of brochures and catalogues. I commented on them and he told me- furious- that they were arriving 10 a day some days and he had had to return numerous books and a set of japanese language learnng tapes, and he was sure it was an ex-colleague from work who he had fallen out with.
I took a great deal (of pathetic, I know) pleasure from it. Have never told anyone, ever.

lulu your post made me laugh so much. I wish I'd thought of that one myself!

Oh gosh. Well I've managed to get several people sacked. This was back in the late 80s/early 90s when I worked in a Bingo hall. Employment law wasn't anywhere near so robust as it is now but I fully maintain these fuckers deserved it.

I was the chief cash officer on site and I was besties with the guy who was my junior. Between us we covered opening hours of the whole club. At this time we had a site manager who was covering our club and another about 30 miles away. They put in a deputy manager to cover every day. He was a pile of useless wank and very quickly pissed me off by telling me I should address his as "Mr Smith" instead of "Brian". (Not real name obviously.) I kept "forgetting" and calling him Brian at which point he'd snap "Mr Smith!" and I'd say "Oh, I'm sorry." He was extremely lazy, refused to muck in and help out (we were only a small club so managers were expected to lend a hand where needed) and regularly called down from his office to have a tea brought to him (you can guess how it was made...)

Final straw was one night when I was off duty, and my bestie/office junior called me nearly in tears saying Brian the prick had basically forced him to hand over £200 from petty cash even though we had a strict policy of no loans without club manager approval. Prickface had basically told my bestie "Do it or I'll sack you". He had deliberately waited until I had left for the day before asking.

The thing was if I had reported him for that then my bestie would also have been in trouble for giving him the cash. So I bided my time as I knew I could find plenty of other things he was doing wrong.

I spent a week basically gathering evidence that only incriminated him and not anybody else, like what time he got to work, mistakes he made doing the job (this was really serious as some mistakes contravened the Gaming Act and could have led to the club being fined or even shut down) and just generally being a lazy, arrogant shit. I reported several things to the general manager but Brian the slime talked his way out of things, blaming other people or saying it was all a mistake. Fucker.

Finally he played into my hands - he asked me to lend him MORE money from petty cash, this time £2500 to buy a car. So this time I said to him "Hmm, we won't have that much cash on hand until we cash up on Friday evening, but come up to the office at 9.30 after we close and I'll sort you out."

I then called the general manager and asked him to make a "surprise" visit on Friday night. He snuck into the cash office and sat out of sight. I waited for Brian the dick to come upstairs, basically entrapped him by saying "You know it's against policy to take money from petty cash without the general manager's signature right?" He said "I don't give a shit about that, he's not here, I am." Imagine his face when the GM stood up and said "Actually I am, and you're not." Oh it was glorious!

I also got rid of a serial sexual harasser/assaulter who used to enjoy rubbing up against the female members of staff while "just passing" behind them at the counter. He asked for a couple of day's holiday, we said no as we were short staffed. He called in sick, nobody made the connection until I spoke to one of the part timers and she told me "Hey, I bumped into Creepy McGroper at the concert - I thought he worked Saturday nights?" I immediately dobbed him in. Sacked for falsely claiming sickness. Best part was the concert was Kylie

Put paid to another sexual harasser and genuinely dangerous-feeling bloke, you know the sort who sets your instincts screaming. He had made comments to several of the women making them feel really uncomfortable. (Again I'll point out this was the 80s/90s and the words "sexual harassment" were just a collection of syllables to most employers.) One of our employees had a mate up in court for something, and while he was waiting in the public gallery he saw Mr Creepy Fucker in the dock, charged with drunk and disorderly. It then transpired that he had two previous convictions for D&D and one for ABH. I pulled out his application form and he had failed to declare any previous convictions. Put it in front of the general manager, Creepy turned up that night for work and was sacked on the spot.

I don't feel bad about any of these, all three of them thoroughly deserved the sack. It's just that there was plenty of people working there who had done very similar, but I'd never have dobbed them in as they were good people!

I was completely done over by a tradesman - it's a long story but I paid for a job (£300) and then discovered that he'd completely bodged it. He wouldn't refund me and I had to pay to get it fixed. Bastard.

So I completely trolled his business. I created loads of different email addresses and fake names and left multiple reviews over a period of 3 months on facebook, yell and every other review site/phone book I could find. I also called HMRC and anonymously reported him for tax dodging.

I've name changed for this because it's absolutely the lowest thing I've ever done, but I slept with a very good friend's boyfriend when I was a lot younger. More than once. Whilst she was upstairs. He bugged me for weeks and i caved. In my defence, I was not really myself at the time and going through what i think was a bit of a breakdown following the death of my dad and my boyfriend of 5 years dumping me. But still, no excuse - it haunts me to this day, I'm really ashamed. She knows about it and is now married to him with a child.

Multiple bad reviews I should specify...it was very satisfying watching his four star yell rating slowly reduce to Zero.

A girl bullied me relentlessly at school. She had a posse of cronies and even though she was a twig she was always well protected by the bigger group. To say she made my life hell was an understatement.
My dad was a nasty piece of work but if he thought he was in the right he'd never back down. (Relevant I promise)
One day I knew she'd be late home, so I waited with my own posse and cornered her. I'm not proud to say I punched her a few times in the face and stomach.
I went home, scratched at my face a bit and walked in bottom lip wobbling. I told my dad id got in a fight, she'd attacked me and then said she was glad mum was disabled and she hoped she die soon. I in defence hit her.
At school next day I was put into isolation and repeated the same story, never wavered. Bully (now with black eye) was also dragged into isolation. She was absolutely wailing she hadn't touched me nor said anything. Unfortunately for the little cow a number of teachers knew she was vile to me.
School wanted to suspend me, dad waded in and threatened school governors for not dealing with bullying and I had obviously reacted under complete duress!!
She got three days isolation and had to write me a letter of apology. I was back in class next day. She did leave me alone after that though.

My late H, the girlfriend he had before me was from the US. It had been an online romance and she had flown over here to be with him, he thought she was coming for a visit, she arrived with all her worldly goods and her 7-yr old DD

After a few weeks of honeymoon-like bliss he slowly realised she was basically a freeloader - she hadn't had a permanent home for years, had just moved around and shacked up with whatever man would take her. This was always accompanied by a sob story about how her current relationship was awful, hints about DV, being "scared" to leave, etc.

(This would have been like milk and honey to my H who had a real white knight thing going on.)

As time went on she became quite horrible to my DSD who was then about 4, she pressured my H to take out cards and loans which he had no way of re-paying - he was a disabled single dad! Luckily he didn't get approved for anything!

He asked her to leave but she kept crying and saying she didn't have anywhere to go and she couldn't put him and her DD on the street, and he truly didn't have the heart to do it. As a non-UK resident she wasn't entitled to any benefits or housing.

So after 6 months he waited til she went out, then he rang Immigration. She was deported within a fortnight. He told her "I think the immigration service do automatic checks, and it will have flagged up that you entered the country but haven't left. Oh dear." Sneaky fucker

pegspigs yes but I certainly call the shots!! There is a twist to this tale in that ex-DHs boss turned out to be a great ally.

After his return to the house after his shenanigans there was much shouting. He then took my car as it was "no use to me with my arm in plaster" and drove off into the sunset. So I'm stuffed. A broken arm, two tiny dds and now no effing car!!!

Ex-DHs boss phones to see how I am and I 'fess all. She suspects DH has left my car at the airport and offers to investigate for me. So I send her the key....not only does she find it exactly where she thought it would be (as DH was out the country) she arranged to bring my car back to me!!!!! We are still good friends many years hence.
To cut a v long story mercifully short, myself and the not so little DDs are now back in the UK and I have a fab DP. Smiles all round....

Not mine, my mother. My father moved abroad when they split up and fourteen years later, when the last of us turned eighteen, asked my mother to sell the house we had been living in and send him the money as it was entirely in his name. It didn't even occur to him to offer her a commission on the sale. So some lucky bugger got our house for a tenth of its real value.