So folks. I have one DS, my pfb. Before he was born we were invited to a wedding, I am good friends with both the bride and groom. It's happening when he'll be 4.5 months old (next month). He is not invited.
The wedding is about 3.5 hours away, and is in a barn with a few beds in dormitory style accommodation as the only option to stay. So no having a babysitter hang out in a hotel room on the premises for example. DS is ebf and has had maybe 4 bottles of expressed milk ever, all given by DH. We've never left him with anyone else for more than 2 hours.
Before he was born I had no idea what it would be like, agreed to go, and asked PILs to come and help. They will be staying with family about 20 min from the venue. No ro for me and DH so we are booked into a b&b about 5 min from PIL (plan was to pick up DS on the way back from the wedding to bring him to the b&b with us). Are you still with me?!
Now that it's getting nearer I'm getting totally stressed by the whole thing. Wedding is at 2. Even if I express for PIL to give bottles I will have to physically feed him at some point or pump in the toilets in my wedding outfit. I don't feel I can keep asking them to drive back and forth so I can feed him every few hours, and I also think it will be upsetting for him to see me for a feed and then be taken away again. He has only met PIL 3 times and doesn't know them that well. They are really excited about spending time with him.
Is it rude to cancel (either me or DH or both) at this late stage? We will be inconveniencing PIL and bride and groom. Is there a middle ground not seeing? AIBU/pfb to think he won't cope without me for a day? Any suggestions gratefully welcomed.