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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Madonna is being slightly out of order?

163 replies

MadSprocker · 03/03/2016 08:23

Probably going to get a flaming, but reading a news report this morning about the custody battle about Rocco, she doesn't seem to take her son's feelings into account at all. He is happy in school with his father, whereas she is on tour in various places around the world. The judge also condemned both Guy and Madonna for playing this out in public, when it could be resolved in private.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/03/2016 09:20

Why is it sexist?! The kid wants to live with his dad, who'd probably give him a more stable life. How is that sexist?

GoringBit · 03/03/2016 09:22

All this anti-Madonna stuff is just a leetle bit sexist in my opinion.

I disagree; people are criticising her behaviour, and would, in my opinion, criticise that behaviour whether it was coming from a man or a woman. I see no sexism here.

JeffersonCrisp · 03/03/2016 09:25

Madonna has control issues and is the one playing it out in public.

Rocco, at 15, should be able to decide for himself where he wants to live.

celeste83 · 03/03/2016 09:25

Can't be nice for the son not just having his parents squabbles played out in the press but also his name too. He's old enough really to decide where he would prefer to be anyway.

suzannecaravaggio · 03/03/2016 09:27

Sexist?
Surely you mean head up her own arse celebrity-ist?

Ohfourfoxache · 03/03/2016 09:28

If this is how she behaves now, can you imagine what it's going to be like when her DC start flying the nest? The mil threads are going to be epic......

SymphonyofShadows · 03/03/2016 09:30

The judge might mean the twitter photos that GR's wife has posted of Rocco with them and their joint DCs.

From what I have read, Rocco seems to want this to be dealt with in as low-key a way as possible so he might have grown tired of Madonna's whole 'look at me' schtick a long time ago. I don't think it's sexist, people say similar about Kanye West and his monstrous ego. They are basically the same sort of narcissist.

BadDoGooder · 03/03/2016 09:31

Sleb-ist is what I shall call this!

She is totally out of order, I agree with a pp who said she clearly couldn't care less about her sons feelings, and I would throw the same criticism at a man, so definitely not sexist!

iPost · 03/03/2016 09:32

I think ten might be a typo for teen.

I have a 15 yo son. I think my heart might shatter into a million pieces if he left my house today and refused to come back.

So I am not going to discount genuine heartbreak as one of the motivations for her actions and words.

I just don't think it'll work. I was an angry, hurt teenager and from memory "mule like" was a pretty good description of me at the time. The harder people pushed without giving an indication that they understood how I felt, or worse ... did their best impression of minimising/reframe how I felt in order to protect themselves from looking at their own clay feet, the more I dug my heels in.

Letting him go and then working one's arse off in terms of communication, giving due weight to the reasons given (to the point of apology and changing the status quo if appropriate) and laying down bricks for a path to reunification as soon as the teenager feels they can trust you...that might be less expensive dollar wise, far far more costly emotionally, but perhaps the most effective solution one has on the choice table.

But, man that would hurt, letting him go. I think I would be beside myself with distress.

expatinscotland · 03/03/2016 09:42

He's living with his dad, not dead. She has the means to visit and/or enable visits as much as she likes. I think she's out of order.

Birdsgottafly · 03/03/2016 09:51

The reports that I read said that Guy allowed Rocco to smoke from the age of 13 and the reason he wants to stay with his Dad is because he lets him live a much older lifestyle and doesn't make him go to school.

If SS or another agency was involved, in an ordinary situation, they wouldn't be classed as valid reasons.

""He's living with his Dad, not Dead""

If some reports are true, it's drug issues that she fears. If Parents had have intervened earlier, whose to say how many young/rich stars, wouldn't have gone down the Hard Drug route and be dead.

Only the people involved really know what's going on.

TwinMummy1510 · 03/03/2016 09:53

iPost - I think you've summed it up perfectly.

I'm not a Madonna fan - I don't give a toss about the woman one way or the other - but this isn't about her as a celebrity as many people are commenting, this is about her as a mother.

I think her heart is genuinely breaking at losing her son. I don't think GR is as innocent as he seems in all of this, I just think he's probably been a bit smarter in how he's gone about it. Madonna is used to having to bust balls to make her way in the world and she's approaching this in the same way which clearly isn't the way to do it.

I actually think it's terribly sad. I think my heart would break in two if I were in her position :'(

expatinscotland · 03/03/2016 09:55

Those are just reports. We have no idea. Right now, we have no idea if he uses drugs, what Guy allows him to do and he's alive. Anything else is speculating and tbh, Guy would be well within his rights to sue press that prints defaming information that might be entirely untrue about him and his child and/or be pure conjecture.

But she has made it all very public on social media, that much is true.

ppeatfruit · 03/03/2016 09:57

So with any teen you can't lock them in their rooms, and the more people go on about HARD drugs the more they'll want to experiment. Alcohol has killed many more people anyway.

Madonna is a fool to think her children are going to be any different from a lot of others.

GooseberryRoolz · 03/03/2016 09:57

You have ten sons Soup? Shock

15 year olds are old enough to have their opinion considered.

BrianCoxReborn · 03/03/2016 09:57

I'm only just entering teen-dom and its already bloody hard.

There's two things at play here.

  1. Madge has never been told "no"
  2. Rocco is being 15

However, it's all being played out in the media, his life is a circus and this is only going to end well if Maddona gives in.

From the perspective of being a mum (spoilt superstar aside) I would never give in, I would fight tooth and nail for my child. I say this with experience, my DD is very challenging and we have CAMHS in board.

She's so wrong to have played this out in the media (I think both Madge and GR have been Tweeting vague snipes).

Rocco needs to go to his dad, his dad needs to be a parent (not his chum) and hopefully Madonna and Rocco will be able to rebuild their relationship.

EponasWildDaughter · 03/03/2016 09:59

I want soup to have ten sons Grin

It's like something out of a fairy tale.

Imagine having Madonna as your child's MIL Grin

CauliflowerBalti · 03/03/2016 09:59

It depends on why Rocco wants to live with his Dad, who sounds way too permissive for my liking. 15 is an awkward age. Old enough to make your own decisions - but are they sensible? He fled her world tour because she took his mobile phone off him. He wasn't doing his school work, he was piddling about online, she took the phone away - he ran to Dad's house, who believes such sanctions are too strict and that children shouldn't be forced to go to school.

Honestly, I think the poor kid drew the short straw on the parenting front, but Madonna at least seems to be trying to be A Parent, not Rocco's cool best friend.

Though she really needs to stop with the embarrassing Instagrams.

diddl · 03/03/2016 10:01

She probably is heartbroken.

But weighing this against how easily she could see him if he does reside with GR must take the sting out for her.

diddl · 03/03/2016 10:02

"he ran to Dad's house, who believes such sanctions are too strict and that children shouldn't be forced to go to school."

But he is at school now in England, isn't he?

And why was he on tour & not in school?

So Madonna doesn't send him to school?

expatinscotland · 03/03/2016 10:03

Some people are really treading a fine line with regards to Talk Guidelines on stating what has not been shown to be true beyond a doubt and could be subject to conjecture about celebrities. It's uncomfortable given how MN was once threatened with serious legal action a few years back for similar.

GooseberryRoolz · 03/03/2016 10:04

I want soup to have ten sons grin

It's like something out of a fairy tale.

Isn't it?

I was going to work out the statistical likelihood but opted for another Brew instead)

I DEMAND that you really have ten sons Soup Grin

PaulAnkaTheDog · 03/03/2016 10:04

I'm surprised by the extent of the in depth knowledge that mumsnetters have on Guy Richie and Madonna's parenting. Including when they have taken technology away as a punishment for not doing school work.

Hmm
juneau · 03/03/2016 10:05

Its not sexist. Madonna herself admits that she's very strict and a control freak. What teenager would choose to live with that (plus she's away for months at a time travelling around the world), when he can live a pretty normal life with his dad, his dad's laid-back second wife, and his three little siblings, going to a normal school and living largely off the radar? Madonna constantly plasters pics of her DC all over Instagram and Rocco has said he wants to live a more private life, yet she blatantly ignores this. I think she's reaping exactly what she's sown.

VertigoNun · 03/03/2016 10:06

I had a school refuser like Rocco I went against everyone and took the pressure off. Today they got an A* in one of the GCSE'S they took early. Bullying a child is not cleaver, so many adults think it is.