Can't believe what Sky News reporter just said re child sex abuse victim of Adam Johnson

[ofuckit]

Did anybody else see this? I'm horrified and a bit disturbed tbh.

The reporter was talking to an ex footballer about the case and said 'Do you think it's hard for people to understand how hard it is to deal with the temptations put in the way of footballers'.... 😟
The ex footballer responded in agreement with the reporter, saying how oh yes it's very hard for them, etc....

So we can assume from this that these men see children as 'temptations put in their way'?

i feel sick 😞

Ah yes, all of those rape victims driving around in Ferraris, flashing their bling...

Although actually, no, that isn't what happens at all. They appear to put themselves through the stress of the court process for absolutely nothing.

How bizarre. Why on earth would they do that, do you think? Unless maybe, just maybe, it's because they're telling the truth?

Yes, I'm not sure where this idea that girls go through the process of being humiliated in court, having their reputation anilihated and suffering disgusting abuse online, just for 'the compo', comes from?

Can these people.give a single example of a rape victim who received loads of 'compo' after a conviction?

It's just pure misogyny.

Phal, if I didn't know better I'd think you were my high school best friend. I used to feel sick watching her 'seduce' often much older men who she thought she was completely controlling. Yes she could get them to do stuff for her, yes she got gifts and yes she was always the one who dumped them. She used to talk like you, she thought she was an evil seductress. But the reality was they were grubby older men who were rubbing their hands (and everything else) at the thought of getting a 15 year old into bed. She tried it on my older stepbrother, he made sure he was never in a room alone with her. She wasn't irresistible, she was vulnerable.

But that's not relevant to this case as previous excellent posts have explained

"Can these people.give a single example of a rape victim who received loads of 'compo' after a conviction?"

I've always wondered this too.

The fact that it would be a crime even if she'd sold her story the minute afterwards for £000s appears not to occur to people either because AGE OF CONSENT YOU BUFFOONS!

When people are hurt by accidents after industrial negligence and receive compensation and possible media payments, they are (rightly of course) not vilified.

Yet sex assault victims who receive no such payments are for.. Allegedly cashing in? I don't get the world.

I scrolled down my Facebook page today to see a picture of the girl had been shared and commented on! "She looks at least 18" "she's in a club/pub"

SHE WAS 15!! He knew this! He took full advantage of her infatuation!

Thankfully the arse who shared it has been reported and will hopefully be dealt with harshly!

Number, some of the pictures claiming to be of the victim are of his (now ex) girlfriend. People are dumb!

When I was 15 I worked in a restaurant as a waitress and from the moment I started my job the married 32yo head chef set his sights on me. I fancied the pants off him, would fantastise about him and flirt with him. We did eventually have a few snogs in the store room. I never once thought about his wife. My 15yo brain just didn't have that train of thought. I was all about me me me - I was a child afterall.

I was very flattered of the attention and he knew how to try and get what he wanted out of me - he'd brush passed me and touch my bum, tell me I was beautiful and he wanted to be with me etc, all whilst hinting heavily about me giving him a blow job or sleeping with him. It never went further than a kiss, as I got scared and would back away, but if he'd had it his way we'd have been shagging on the freezers. For me it was never once about sex, but about attention from an admirer.

The restaurant owners (my Aunty and uncle) found out as I confided in a colleague. They sacked me and not him, and I was devastated.

Fast forward nearly 20 years and I realised from the age of about 18 or 19 that he was not a romantic Adonis but an extremely creepy and manipulative individual. He tried to bed a child half his age and I fell hook line and sinker for him. He cared not a jot for his wife and children, and I never for one second realised this at the time.

I was of course lauded as the home wrecking tart in the family who 'knew what I was doing' - I really didn't, I only thought I did. The AOC laws are there not only to protect children from predators, but to protect from themselves and their desire to act older than they are.

I actually worked with his wife years later (who by then was his ex wife) - she didn't know who I was but she was so lovely and he from what she told me he was a twat who never saw his kids or paid maintenance.

Fuck all the victim blaming tossers on here. I'd have expected better from MN. Shame on you all

If anyone sees a picture of his victim being shared, I'd encourage you to screenshot it and send it to the police. It's a criminal offence, and if they get enough reports they may take action.

Some of the shit I've heard/seen being said about the victim is revolting.

At 15, many teenagers do think about/want to have sex, boys and girls. Doesn't mean that adults should take advantage of their naivete. As the justice system have made clear, thank god.

The fact that, as a footballer, he presumably does get interest from more available, attractive women than most men could ever imagine makes his determination to seduce an underage girl even more sinister in a way. Yuck. The whole thing is gross.

Piper what a horrible experience.

Piper that is awful. As an adult have you ever confronted family members about blaming you? Do you have contact with them? I am so horrified that the first reaction of so many people is that a child is responsible for the actions of a predatory adult.

Piper - I had a similar experience when I was 15 but had forgotten about it till your story. I worked in a pub and fancied a customer who was well into his 30s. He knew how old I was but we did start seeing each other and I did sleep with him, I definitely did pursue him. He wasn't married but his ex live in partner was a regular too. She was vile to me as were her friends and blamed me completely for seducing him. They attacked me at a party when I was there with him, he did not stand up for me and I was left with a couple of nasty cuts, no money for a cab. He stayed at the party.

To this day (20 years later) they still give me filthy looks etc but then they were in their 30s then so clearly are never going to change their attitude.

Piper and Zany im so sorry that you went through those experiences.

www.redonline.co.uk/red-women/news-in-brief/adam-johnson-case-victim-blaming?utm_content=buffer79eda&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Good article Helena.

It's so true, when you're a teen you think you know it all, it's all bravado and trying to act like how you think an adult would, because you totally know everything and you're so grown up and mature and your parents and teachers know nothing.

When you're 25, or 35, then you look back, with all the danger that you then realise is out there and are horrified by the situations you nearly, or did, end up in. And that it's just luck that you didn't fall victim to a crime.

It's sickening how, even when the guy has actually pled guilty and ADMITTED that he knew she'd just turned 15, knew that he was trying to make a 15year old child feel as though she owed him sexual favours for the signed shirt, and that he has said himself (too late, and prompted by his lawyer/PR team probably) that she was a child, he knew what he was doing was wrong, and that she should have been safe in his company, people STILL think it's the child's fault and not the 28 year old man?

I just despair. I really do.

I am driving myself mad reading comment after comment on various articles on Facebook, from people who obviously have no concept of how grooming works, about how a just 15 year old girl 'knew what she was doing' and is 'equally to blame'. I despair at the world I've brought my two daughters into.

Thank you Helena, it's only as an adult that I have ever thought about it and I forget about it more often now but I would be livid if something like that happened to my own DCs.

I haven't followed the story too closely tbh as reading idiotic slut shaming comments would just upset me too much.

Sorry to those who have been in similar situations. I myself was in a similar situation at 15. Don't want to give too many details for fearing of outing myself: 'slept' with 21yr old- someone who knew me for yrs. One of incident, 99% sure I was drugged-blacked out for some of it, don't even remember how it started. It was painful at times and he wouldn't stop. I remember feeling like I wanted it, told him etc but I never fancied him in anyway. I spent the next day shaking uncontrollably. That was probably the least traumatic part.

Of course I was shamed and blamed for 'seducing' and 'coming on' to him, even by family members. Nobody else will ever know what happened that night but I was told what did happen like AJs victim: phrases like 'it takes two to tango' etc. 'You came on to him'. I lost everything but he denied it of course.

For 10 yrs I blamed myself entirely, and still do to an extent.

I have a DD now and she will not go through that. Enough is enough.

I was a sexually immature teenager, going through puberty at perhaps 13-17 rather than 11-15 like the rest of my peers. I left school as flat as a pancake and was an F cup by the end of university, so I was clearly not "physically nearly an adult" at 15.

I was desperately in love with one glamorous man after another. In particular, there was a Radio One producer whose landline number I got somehow. I used to ring him, and have a chat with him and the others in the office, all household names and £££ earners. My desperation must have been absolutely pouring down the phone line.

Instead of saying "hey, let's meet up so I can give you an autograph", he gently chatted about my GCSEs and what a good idea it was to do your best at school to keep your options open for the future.

Because that's what an adult does when a child is infatuated with him. He reestablishes the blurred boundaries, because he knows that however forward a 14/15yo may be, she is legally and almost certainly emotionally a child and children are not for having sex with.

That said, it isn't the age of the victim that troubles me. I worry that the take-home message is "make sure you only groom girls aged 16+" rather than "grooming is abuse and you ought to be fucking ashamed of yourself".

I forgot to say that it should have been extremely helpful for me to have been taught at school what grooming looks like and what equal/balanced relationships look like.

I was still very vulnerable once I got to the age of consent, leading to a sexually abusive relationship at 16/17 rebounding into what honestly looks like a grooming nearly-relationship at 18 with a 32yo. A 32yo primary teacher, at that.

We should have better legislation against grooming as a particular offence. Then people like the child sex offender Adam Johnson could be convicted of sex offences and grooming offences independently, and for the latter it would be irrelevant how old she looked.

I have never heard of a rape victim getting rich after the crime either.

However, I do hope that this young girl sues the arse out of Sunderland AFC. She'd deserve every penny.

I totally agree. The club playing AJ has directly impacted on how the local community has viewed the accusation, and by extension her. She's been treated appallingly.

I'm trying to envisage the conversation between Sunderland FC and AJ when they lifted his suspension.

"So you did groom and abuse a child, who you met as a result of your work for this club, but you're going to plead not guilty, (and obviously put the child you groomed through a traumatic and lengthy legal process, but hey, that's just collateral damage) and chances are you'll get off? We'll that's just fine, as long as you don't get found guilty I can't see a problem with you carrying on playing for us at all! And yes, of course you can carry on signing shirts for youngsters who idolise you, no problem."

The attitude to CHILD victims of sex crimes in this country is appalling. Let's not forget this case. The boy was 11 years old.

www.ibtimes.co.uk/uk-babysitter-who-had-sex-11-year-old-boy-spared-jail-1522588

I think publicly shaming victims of such crimes on social media should be a criminal offence.

Wow. If you're a rich white male there are literally hordes of people who will forgive you of almost anything.

It's shocking to witness women some of them mothers literally tying themselves in knots trying to blame the victim.